What is the right age to start dating?My HS daughter is in a relationship, but i fear its emotionally draining

Question

She's almost 17 and well her and her boyfriend are doing ok, but sometimes she'll come home from school very smug and I know its about her boyfriend. So, I asked this question because I have another teenage daughter entering HS and I would like to know if I should let her date just like her sister did? Relationships can be emotionally draining and I dont think it would be right to let such young people experience that.

Answer 1

The "right" age will depend on the child...some are capable of handling emotional relationship issues at an earlier age than others...in my family, my sister and I were not allowed to date (one on one) until we were 16...I don't think that either of us were ready prior to that so as a general dating-age, it works for me...

..girls are generally physically capable of procreation at 11 or 12 or so nowadays, but I don't think that means they should be doing it (or getting into relationships that would lead down that path)...

Some young people aren't ready to think about dating until later in their teens, or maybe even 20s...it's definitely not obligatory...

You can't shelter your kids from emotionally draining situations...not allowing them to date, won't mean they won't like boys or get involved with boys, it more than likely means they'll simply hide what they are doing from you...having 'boyfriends' and breaking up is part of what girls go through...it helps prepare them for when it's going to be "for real". You don't have to push them into being little grown ups, but don't allow them to miss out on the experiences they should have, that will help them out when they do become adults...

I think forbidding your 2nd daughter to date, will end up causing you more issues than it will her...

Answer 2

Personally, I think you should just because its a part of growing up that every kid should experience. Kids are always going to have other priorities, wether they be school, college, or work, and someday they're going to have to learn the other things in life like being in a relationship and keeping it alive while doing all of that other important stuff. Even if it is an emotionally draining experience for them, think of it as a chance to learn things that school wouldn't be able to teach them about. Give them a chance when they're not so cynical about the world to give such things as love a chance and maybe, just maybe, they might become the stronger for it.

Answer 3

well it sounds like you already are allowing one daughter to do so. Good luck trying to change teh rule for the next child. I know as teh second oldest in my family of 4 if my sister was able to do a particulat thing at a given age I knew I was lookin forward to when it was my turn. However thats not the question.

Through out highschool I had crushes and that sort of thing but my parents reinforced daily how important it was to focus on school. I also respected and feared my parents in a much healthy way. The rule was no boyfriends until you done with school. I didnt fight it too much, like I said I had crushes but I didnt persue them because I kne the rule and was afraid to go against my dads wishes.

Now looking back three boyfriends, one daughter, and 8 years latter. . . I am sooooo glad I didnt have a boyfriend in high school I did well in school but if I had a boyffiend I wouldnt have been able to focus as well as I did single.

I have learned that relationships are draining, emotional, time consuming, costly, and emotional emotional enotional!!! Relationships are for mature adults. I cant imagine going through the things I have gone through good and bad with my boyfriends, in high school!!

I am glad it happend this way so I would recommend encouraging your children to remain single until they are mature and really understand the meaning of being in a relatiinship.

Answer 4

16

Answer 5

If you do not allow your younger daughter to date at the same age as her sister did, because of the older sister's mistakes...you will be in a world of trouble. Your youngest may rebel severely.
My parents let us date at 16, and I thought that was unfair. Until I had a daughter of my own!!! She will NOT be allowed to date until she leaves for college.
Look the best thing I think you can do is, make sure the younger daughter is aware of the changes in the older sister. Allow Lil sis to go out with her girlfriends alot. Looking back on my teen years, I didn't really want to be alone with a guy, it was more fun to go out as a group. If you make something taboo they will want it more.

Answer 6

Dating now will help your daughter learn valuble life lessons. If she experiences a little love and a little hurt this may help her understand more of what she needs in a relationship when shes older. For example: If a guy treats her badly now, you know typical highschool relationships, break up get back together, he cheats, she cheats get back together. Maybe she will have put up with enough of that to know as an adult these things are not acceptable.

Answer 7

It all depends do you think Your daughter is emotionally ready is not a right age to date it all comes with fights deceptions but also a lots of Joy and happiness and of course love as long is she is not just thinking about the boyfriendd and getting her grades down I think she is in the right age to live the first ove action dont u think?

Answer 8

I think that 16 is a good age to start dating. If you wait till they got out of HS it's probably a little harder to start dating. Just talk to your daughter about her bf and let her know you're there for her.

Answer 9

They are getting to the age where they will resent you for making decisons like this for them, the best thing that you can do is teach your childern your expectiations and try and hold a open dialog with them. You have to remember that your childern are getting to a point where they do not rely on you as much anymore (except for of course money) so teach them well and keep talking to them, even if they don't want to.

Answer 10

I think that she should get to experience being able to date at her age...just not anything too serious or sexual...but I think that she should be able to date guys (of her own age) in HS...just to see what it's like!!! Good question by the way...