He wont express himself unless pushed to speak. He is angry with me and remembers everything that happened 5 years ago till now and brings it up now. He says he cant take our marraige anymore. From what I know, he is upset abt his career and is also upset abt how our marriage turned out. Our marriage is not much different from other marriages. We have our ups and downs. I expect, he expects and we havent been delivering all or most of the time. I'm ready to do what he wants me to do, I know what I need to do. But he is not in the frame of mind to accept me nw. He says he is unhappy and has to find it first. He says he talks or meets people only if it is his need. I am going crazy. Some days I am calmer and some days I'm not. But I am waiting for things to get better for him.
2006-06-30 05:53:22 · 11 answers · asked by Doll 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your marriage is like most other marriages........
He must first want the marriage to work as much as you do, then you must both get professional help....
If he doesn't want help or get help , your marriage will fail
He needs to be taught what it really means to be a real man, and what it takes. .......And only another real man can show him the way.
Good Luck Hugs...&...Kisses........
2006-06-30 06:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's depression, there's not much that you can do for him. have him see a doctor or a counselor. you cannot help him to be happy. all emotions are self-induced, and are very much an internal thing. no external force can effect your emotions with out your permission, weather that permission is sub-conscious or not. the fact that he holds things over your head is not right. things for him will not get better with time. he needs individual counseling. After-wards, if the marriage isn't better, marriage therapy. sometimes guys won't want marriage counseling. at that point it's a question of how much the marriage means to the both of you. It should never cost you any part of your self to have a relationship. if he makes you feel worse about your self, or if this belittles you at all, then it's not good. best of luck.
2006-06-30 06:20:09 · answer #2 · answered by andygirl256 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes waiting does not work. Sometimes you need to take control. Sometimes men want to be controlled.
"Honey, I see that you are having some serious issues regarding our relationship. While I see that you think that with time you will find your answers, I am not sure how long that will take and it is driving me away from you everyday. If you do not value our relationship enough to get some counseling immediately, then we are going to have to separate, because I can not take this unhappiness a moment longer."
Now, two things could happen. First he could say forget you and move out, or he could actually thank you and get the help he needs. Either way it is better than wasting your life away for him to figure out whatever he needs to figure out.
2006-06-30 06:07:38 · answer #3 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you convince him to see a therapist or a Dr. or does he not recognize he has a problem? Not that I'm condoning it or anything, but a doctor could perscribe "happy pills" that may change his entire outlook on life. You can't take it personally, anyway. Depression is a huge issue with men and most don't even recognize that they are going through it. Stress is a huge cause of it. I guess just try to identify what the cause of his depression is. Good book to read: The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. Good luck!
2006-06-30 06:09:40 · answer #4 · answered by spartyon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same problem .i do not want to talk to anybody unless i have to .it started in the year 2001 .i had problem with someone whom i have known for years .because of that i was forced to leave the job i loved so much.since then i am not the person i used to be.if somebody wants to talk to me i become nervous and i want the person to go way from me immediately.my behavior has changed and i stared drinking alchol alot but i did not help me either.
since June of last year i have stopped both drinking alchol and smoking cigarette but the problem is still with me.still i want to be alone most of the time.i talk only my lovely wife properly.
LET THE LORD JESUS AND HIS LOVELY MOTHER HELP ME .
2006-07-07 03:18:31 · answer #5 · answered by daniel k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree w/ the others
If your husband is willing to see a Dr. about this he should
If he's not to old maybe he could change his job
there are alot of job placement places that will test you to
see what job is best for you
I hope everything works out for the best
2006-06-30 06:17:25 · answer #6 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I myself suffer from depression,since I was 16yrs.old.Ihave been on and off meds.I am 36 now and found it is best to stay on medication.Please convince him to go see a doctor and get help,before it's too late.It was almost too late for me,I tried to end it all,but my sweet,loving,incrediable husband of 6yrs stood by me and made me get help.I have been back on meds for nearly 4 months now,and LIFE IS GREAT!!! GOOD LUCK
2006-06-30 07:09:28 · answer #7 · answered by melissa r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need some time apart to let your nerves, and his nerves to settle a bit. You are both obviously stressed about this, so take some time apart, study what's next for the both of you to do, then do it! best of luck to you. It's hard to deal with a depressed person. He needs meds!!
2006-06-30 06:01:59 · answer #8 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest marriage counseling.
2006-06-30 05:58:50 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him a beer. then let the good times roll.
2006-06-30 05:59:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋