I'm bored here at work
2006-06-30 05:22:32 · 13 answers · asked by L.A. Woman 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
OK THIS IS FUNNY!!!!!
The perfect Wal-Mart Greeter
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into
Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to
Wal-Mart. Nice children you've got there - are they twins?"
The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no
they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?........ Do you really think they look alike?"
"No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got
laid twice!"
2006-06-30 05:28:47 · answer #1 · answered by meame13 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Three guys are walking along a trail, and decide to take a different route that they are used to taking, after walking a mile they come across a half buried golden lamp, so all at once they grab for it and the lamp gets rubbed from all the friction of fighting for who saw it first. When all of the commotion takes place a genie leaks out in a cloudy form. Then asks who found the lamp, they all three said I did. So the genie was confused but came to a conclusion, then said each one of you can make a wish, but only if you run to the edge of the cliff and jump off and say your wish out loud. The first guy runs to the edge of the cliff jumps off, and says I wish to become an eagle that never dies.poof he becomes an eagle and soars away, then fly by and shiits on the other friends before taking off, the next guy cleans himself off, runs to the edge then jumps off saying that he wishes to become the most richest handsomest man in the world...poof he found himself owning Microsoft... (bill gates)... the third guy kinda annoyed that he didn't go first went, he ran to the edge of the cliff and tripped on a rock and said shiit........... a pile of shiit hit the ground very hard with a splat......
A woman is walking down the street, and is pregnant with triplets, she walks by a bank, and the bank is getting robbed. The masked robber breaks out and shoots her three times. She goes to the hospital, and finds out the babies are fine, but the surgeon does not think it would be safe to remove the bullets. She later gives birth to 2 healthy daughters, and a healthy son. Sixteen years later, one of the daughters comes to the living room crying, and the mother asks what happened, she said that she was tinkling and a bullet came out, the mother assured her that she was fine and told her what happened. A week later her other duaghter said the same thing, so she explained to her what happened 16 years before. The next week, her son walked in crying, so the mother said I know you were using the restroom to go tinkle and a bullet came out. The son said no he was playing with himself and he shot the dog.
2006-06-30 05:40:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little joke my boss's boss told me the other day....
Bush is in a meeting with all his concubines and staff regarding the war in Iraq. And the Secretary of State tells Bush, "I'm sorry, sir, but we just lost 3 Brazilians in Iraq"
Bush puts his head in his hands, saying, "Oh, no this is terrible." He had a distraught face and he said back to the Secretary..."How many is a brazilian???"
Hahahaha
2006-06-30 05:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by amyvnsn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got this text to my phone yesterday its kind of dirty and gross but you asked for it
Life of a Virgina:
your friends are lippy
your neighbor is an asshole
your best friend is a dick
and your owner keeps giving you the finger
Hope it didn't offend anyone
2006-06-30 05:28:32 · answer #4 · answered by roonie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 rabbits died and they were in the waiting room awaiting God. God came out and asked the 1st rabbit: What do you want people to say about you at your viewing: 1st rabbit replied: I want them to say that I was a wonderful father, a good husband and was loved. God said "OK". Then God asked the 2nd rabbit: What do you want people to say about you? The 2nd rabbit replied: I want them to say: He was a great teacher, a great fella and enjoyed life to the fullest. Then God asked the 3rd rabbit: What do you want them to say about you? The 3rd rabbit replied: "LOOK, he's moving". Hahahahahaha
2006-06-30 05:31:20 · answer #5 · answered by truthseeker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty six year olds?
Because there's twenty of them.
2006-06-30 05:27:52 · answer #6 · answered by Smoothie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
crap! Im usually fkn hillarious but now the pressure is on lol. A man walked into a bar......."ouch" budump cha!
2006-06-30 05:32:51 · answer #7 · answered by wendy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does a woman do with her asshole before having sex?
Drop Him Off
2006-06-30 05:25:31 · answer #8 · answered by dutch950 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one day a little boy went to school and hes teacher told hem to go home and wright down 4 words so he went home and ask hes mom 4 a word she said sutup im on the phone and he wrote that down then he went to hes sis. shes and she was doing a race and she said yes yes yes he wrote that down then he went to hes dad and hes dad was wachting football and dad said stuped so he wrote that down and then he went to hes bro. and hes bro. said da da da da sooperman so he went to school the next day and hes teacher said what r ur words he said shut-up im on the phone she said exuse me and he said stupid she said want to go to the prinsibles office he said yes yes yes she said who do u thank u r he said da da da sooperman
2006-06-30 05:37:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok im sitting at a bar having a beer. now and then i pour some beer in my left hand. what am i doing. im getting my date drunk
2006-06-30 05:27:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋