she loves to cuddle and touch and be close to me which is great, but I like wild sex and sometimes a little freaky, (w/out going into details) how do I get her a little motivated, knowledgeable, any advise, only women please. I know what guys would say have her watch porn!! thats not what I'm looking for?
2006-06-30 04:03:16 · 13 answers · asked by Mr. Advise = ) 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Anything you want to introduce should be when she's aroused -- or you won't get a sexual response. You may provoke giggling or insecure reactions. It'll feel awkward if she's not already in the mood for what ever 'details' you have in mind. (remember to breathe sexy to keep her aware of 'where you are')
2006-06-30 04:24:04 · answer #1 · answered by Ann 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to show some appreciation for the fact that she must not have had many partners. Big plus. A women is motivated by her partner certain times of the month she needs a soft and pasionate lover. Other time a strong forceful man in charge. Read her action carefully. When she seems a little down and whiny love her gently. On days she seems a little naughty yet almost angry try to take charge. Or, there is always thrill sex. Try to get in the back seat or take her to the movies in the back row, a dressing room is always fun. Just try not to give an option. Start out slow, do not scare her, but tell her what IS going to happen. Believe it or not even strong independent women enjoy being told what to do every now and then.
Good Luck
2006-06-30 11:52:00 · answer #2 · answered by christinandjed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't call her ignorant, she is inexperienced and perhaps shy.
You are her teacher, guide her into new things, You can try books such as "the art of love making" which is not porn, but rather instructional targeted to commited couples that want to try something loving but new. There are also videos for couples, such as " how to be a better lover" and is informational and instructional and is by no means insulting or degrading.
Don't push her into anything raunchy or too wild, as your wife she might feel as if those things are dirty and wrong. Start slow, try some elegant lingerie at first (not naghthy tacky ones) so she can warm up to the idea of spicing things up. After you get her started with thatm, then you can introduce other things without making her feel bad or pushing too hard.
Ask her what is her fantasy and fulfill it. Do it in the car, do it somewhere else other than the bedroom. You can masage her with oils ... experiment with food, body shots, etc.... that is not too much and is just a step up. After that, try adult games, toys, costumes, role playing etc..there is some much that you can try but you need to intriduce things one at the time and slow.
Take the initiative,as no one was born with knowledge and if you are her teacher, then if she failed the grade is because she hasn't have proper tutoring.
Good luck
2006-06-30 11:15:44 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have addressed all of this while you were dating, long before you got married.
If sex is really important to you, and wild freaky sex is what you're really after, don't you think it's kind of important to share that little tidbit of information with your wife-to-be?
If it's a priority for you, it must be a priority for her too. Did you find a woman who loves the freaky stuff as much as you do?
If not, you failed to recognize the importance of freaky sex and you must now deal with what you've chosen instead.
If your wife is into it, you can explore the freaky side together- openly, honestly, and without guilt or judgement.
If you chose a wife who is not into freaky stuff at all - who needs the help?
It's not her. You just made the wrong choice and now you'll have to find a way to deal with it.
Don't hurt your wife. She has done nothing wrong and doesn't deserve it. She was honest and straightforward about who she was before you married.... you weren't.
2006-06-30 11:58:55 · answer #4 · answered by wrdsmth495 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the key. Express to her what you like in the sack. Tell her you like it when she talks dirty to you. Tell her what you need but not what you expect. Tell her you want her to bite you or ask her what makes her hot. Don't forget to really lather on the foreplay session. Most guys don't know how important foreplay is to letting guards down.Remind her how sexy she is when she does this or does that. She may not be getting freaky with you cuz she may be afraid of what you may think of her or she's a little shy. I believe everyone has an inner freak you just gotta know how to help them discover it. Don't get frustrated with her either cuz then you'll make her feel like crap. So just be respectful about your requests and you should be on your way to happy freaky bump n grind baby!
2006-06-30 11:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by gabby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first don't call her ignorant - maybe inexperienced is more appropriate. I would subtly try to introduce some things in the mix and see how she reacts. Also, talking about these things helps, maybe an erotic story you can send her from the internet www.xandria.com has some that are pretty good. and by all means be honest with her - maybe she wants some of the same things but as women we are brought up to think we can't enjoy some of those or that we may be considered slutty if we even think about it. Good Luck.
2006-06-30 11:07:19 · answer #6 · answered by trahub66 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk to her :)
Ask her if she'd like to try anything new tonight, when she'll ask what you mean, just share and explain what you're thinking about without forcing her to do something. It'll take a little of time for her to accept this in her mind, but after that she might even be interested in doing whatever you'd like to do.
What I'm trying to say is just communicate with her. Some women are not yet ready to do something that men would like them to do. Women are not ignorant in the intimate area of the relationship, they already know how passionate and experienced men are in this department... and because of that some of us (women) are just afraid to let you (men) know that we either don't feel comfortable or are not ready for this-or-that for the fear of you either not being able to understand or be angry at us. Just be patient with her and explain to her what you'd like for both of you to "try," she might be already interested in that unique way and will be more than happy to do it with you once given time and treated with patience for her to understand it on her own level of consciousness.
2006-06-30 11:19:39 · answer #7 · answered by tiger_pisces7483 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great that you are taking her feelings into account. Keep up the good work. The best way, in my opinion, is to be reassuring and complimentary. For instance, if you wanted her to try a new position you could start with, "damn, you are gorgeous, I love the way you look with your back arched and legs...I've heard of people trying sex this way, you are so hot, I'd love to see if we could do it too. Do you think we could try it?" Also, promise her that if she feels bad or has negative feelings about it later, you won't ask her again. Good luck!
2006-06-30 11:10:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems like u have a wife who loves u and appreciates haviing u around u should be glad u have a wife like that a lot of men wish they even had a wife who cared about them i suggest u start appreciating the way she feels about u
2006-06-30 11:41:45 · answer #9 · answered by JAZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh..sorry.. i was going to say have her watch porn..because to be honest with you ..that is where i learned to give the best bj ever! If she is not comfortable with porn though maybe try the kama sutra
2006-06-30 11:07:26 · answer #10 · answered by Machelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋