Why are men so quick to say that we still live in patriarchy?

Question

I am very curious of why. I was looking over the questions, and I noticed quite a few people believe we still live in patriarchal society. That is true for some countries - meaning dictatorial countries and countries where women are not allowed to vote - but in most countries patriarchy has in fact been dismantled. You see, in countries that are ran by constitutional monarchies and democracies are in fact not patriarchies for the countries are run by the people who vote, men AND WOMEN. Yes, patriarchies may be existent in some homes, but not in government. I am not a crazed feminist who is rooting for matriarchy. To be frank, I don't like either patriarchy or matriarchy I believe that I country, and household, can only be properly run by both sexes.

Patriarchy means completely headed by man, but the world isn't completely headed by man.

Actually, I do live in the South. I live in South Carolina.

I do agree that women are probably most influential to the world, but I don't believe that a country should be ran by a particular sex. It needs to be ran by both - that's why we're different, men and women have different needs and a person of the opposite sex can not relate to the person as well as they rule. That's why women have always had it tough before they were given a say in the country. They would either work all day with children and be subjected to a whining husband or they toiled long hours in factories to get a fraction of the pay a man received.

I'm very sorry about your grandfather.

I am really discussing about patriarchy in government, for I said that patriarchy may be still listed in the household, and really households are part of a large community.

Answer 1

i totally agree with u..some guys think that a women cant run the country..im surprised that we have not had any women presidents yet cuz even in a country like pakistan (where its totally all about guys) guys have to eat first, guys get to sleep more, no house chores for guys, guys dont have to do anything in the house excpet lay down,where husband is viewed as a women's god....even that country had a women president (banazier bohotto) and in USA where we supposedly see them as equals we have not had any women president.....


VOTE HILARY CLINTON

Answer 2

I'm sorry not many people are answering your question. Though I thoroughly enjoy the discussion. I will try...

The reason is that in academia, and therefore college campuses, and therefore young cool people, and therefore MTV, and therefore Hollywood etc... awareness of patriarchy, sexism, racism, classism, all the isms is the cool thing to do. It has caused a massive "PC" (politically correct) revolution in the way we talk. I've seriously heard about ten different words for "retarded". Because of this fashion, certain backlashes have come up, like Eminem, and and other shock-artists. Humor (some of my favorites) tries to dismantle PC- like Family Guy and especially Southpark. So reason #1- it's cool.

Reason #2- it's partly true, and so we feel guilty. I agree with Jaydragon that it's not so much about whether we 'technically' have a government set up to be a patriarchy or not. We're not. (Although the equal voting amendment to the constitution was shot down in the 70's!)
1) Men, media, society still see women as objects like they did in the 50's- there's still a spiritual problem.
2) Women still have to deal with problems of pregnancy more than men. Men can run away. Women usually take care of the child. Employers often take that into account when hiring. It's just 'good business' to take that into account because it hurts the business to hire someone who may have to leave for a year unexpectedly. Therefore (and for other reasons) women still get paid much less than men- an indicator of a patriarchy (male dominance) society.

Though it's a little long, it's worth quoting Wikipedia and what it says is conditions of patriarchy:

"Patriarchy as an embodied set of beliefs about the 'natural' gender order (frequently backed up by notions of biological or deific determinism) often operates through a collective willingness towards 'gender blindness', a refusal to observe and study the effects of gender on social relations and power. One clear effect of this has been a refusal until recently to acknowledge the full extent of physical and sexual violence committed against women by men."

3) The rape issue is finally in everyone's consciousness (and sometimes with too much fear). But the fact is that over 99% of rapes are men against women, and so as you may know, a whole woman's life at dark is more dangerous than mens- that gives us a system of living which benefits the male- which is basically a definition of patriarchy.

4) This is what I think Jaydragon, and all those men you are talking about are discussing. In social and work situations, men are usually assumed to be the better leader. You may be true that we don't have a patriarchical gorvernment, but we do live in a patriarchy as a society, and so it must have some underlying affect. For instance rape is just a slap on the wrist in courts, wheras murder or even treason demands the death penalty. In some states it's legal for a man to rape his wife.

Men are basically assumed to be better in every way- sexism- and this creates a society which ends up giving more power to men. Since men aren't women, they'll have a tendency to perpetuate this culture with or without knowing they are doing so.

That's why wer'e so quick to say we live in a patriarchy- cause it's the cool thing these days, and because we have experienced the privaleges of being Man. I hope my answer helps get in the mind of a self conscious man. Though we're quick to bash ourselves, I also see many cases of progress and hope.
=)

Answer 3

Cause it's true. Law says men and women have equal rights and responsabilities, but it's only in the books. In very less countries, men and women are equal. Eastern Europe is a patriarchal society, the whole Asia, Africa the same. Women have the rights to vote, does this mean we are equal to men? You should pay a visit to an Eastern European, Asian or African family and you'll see who rules the house. Women cook, have full times jobs, clean the house, raise the children and men, once coming from work he lies on bed watching TV and waiting for food to be ready so he can eat and sleep. And why is that? Because poor men are so delicate, they are not allowed to do the household, it's enough they have a job, being a man is a privilege...So, do you still think women are equal to men?

Answer 4

Its not so much that a man leads a government but rather that they have a much better chance to lead and get first crack at doing so.A few years ago a lady was on the Presidential ticket as a vice prez and the ticket got creamed.

A patriarchal society is more of men ruling and leading rather than having a woman do the same.Its an attitude more than the reality...There are some place in the world that have a matriarchy
in place but those are minimal.

Actually most species of animals employ the same patriarchal society so we are really NOT so different.

Answer 5

Because man is more objective, physically strong and more rational. Women are more subjective, emotional and intuitive. Both deserve equal rights but they're not identical, real man sacrifices everything for his wife and family and real women sacrifices everything for her children and empowers man to protect them. That's how marriage between a man a woman has been so successfully until the introduction of "brother and sister" marriages where both sexes swap roles constantly and one day the husband do breakfast and laundry and the next day the turn is for the wife, the wife will eventually loose respect for his husband and will try to find another one who can dominate her or who is superior to her in some way or the other, otherwise there will be no love nor respect. Man cannot love a woman who is more powerful than him and a woman cannot love a man who is less dominant than she is. -- Watch out for "Brother and Sister" marriages, they don't last long.

Answer 6

Hmmm.

Well, frankly, I see both. I think, even when its a village and clearly only a patriarchy or matriarchy that imposes order on a culture, that it's different than what you're talking about: dictatorial.

For instance, I am LDS (Mormon). We're a very patriarchal society because of priesthood and some of our beliefs about roles in the family. The way this looks in most families is there's a kind a gentle leader at home (the father) who is listening, patient, long-suffering, etc. His patriarchal responsibility isn't to be the final word, but to assist others in the family to live happy and productive lives. In some families, this means the father leads the family in ski trips or boating trips. In other families, he gets them active in board games on Monday nights. I have never seen a patriarchal order taught in the movies or written about in books or articles that reflects my direct experience with this.

Another good example is in Madea's Family Reunion, where the matriarchy of that family came to rule at the reunion. Again, these were wisened old women who cared for the culture, dignity, and progress of their family. When they implored the family to stand for something dignified, the family softened and desired to see their own greatness.

There's a saying in Bosnia and other Slavic nations that the man may be the head of the family, but the woman is the neck. These cultures are very patriarchal. I lived in Bulgaria for two years and found the culture shock overwhelming for the first few months. The men of the family were very much like men: strong willed, and quick-tempered. The women seemed to be second-rate citizens, at first. I'm sure that a reporter would have written an article telling that story, and moved on. As I got to know these people, broke bread in their homes, listened to them work together, I saw that the woman's influence really was there. In fact, the woman's influence had MORE to do with the family and society. Now, it would be nice if complex social structures weren't needed, that the tension between the sexes didn't exist, but it does. The bottom line is that these people seem to be willing to do the best they can at taking care of their families, and they're making it work.

I don't deny that there are instances of other types of rule, where fathers and mothers impose their mental or social sickness on their children. Freedom is a great thing, and sometimes our own families don't offer it.

But when we talk about order in the society, if we really are proponents of dimsantling the elders' influence on our norms and expectations, we become orphans from the beauties and graces of earlier years.

Today I am at home, trying to work while I watch my grandfather. He is in the last stages of dimentia. The hospice thinks he's got about two more weeks with us. I have thought a lot in the last few months about the role of patriarchy in my own family. Here is a man who grew up as a simple dairy farmer in rural Utah, fought in WWII, and came home to marry his sweatheart. They lived tough lives out there on the high plains. When his heart couldn't take it, he moved his family to Salt Lake City and worked in a glass factory there. This is an instance where if more time and concern were paid towards this man, his grandchildren and their children would have easier, simpler lives. He's learned a lot that he's been willing to pass along to us.

It seems that government rules a lot by exception: for the odd occassions, we have rules about what to do with murderers, rapists, and other extremeties. Yes, these problems are growing, but our nation states deal with it when it's a symptom of something terribly wrong. Our patriarchies and matriarchies deal with it when it's still in the crib. Returning to the family as the basic unit of society handles these issues in a softer, more custom-fit way.

Holding on to norms that would make life easier for everyone is far from oppressive or dictatorial, despite media coverage that only seems to see life's problems one-dimensionally.

Answer 7

I think if you looked up the etymology of patriarchy - you may find a different meaning. Try reading about this in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Patriarchy implies organization. And the examples of the world, where women are subjugated to appalling circumstances are results of disorganization. The world is in chaos on many levels.

I think where there is true Patriarchy, there is a better situation for women.

Answer 8

Until a child reaches adulthood, it might believe that it lives in a matriarchy, because it was likely raised by it`s mother, had a female babysitter, female daycare worker, female school teacher and you get the idea. Most of the influences were probably female.

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

Just a thought!

Answer 9

While I absolutely agree with you there is still a long way to go before your vision is reality. In reality you look at the statistics of who is running things and you will see it is still predominantly male .. everywhere from science to business to religion.

Answer 10

I am very confused.... At all of my friend's houses, the mom always seems to control the dad. She has a special influence power. This is very true in my house as well.