When your girlfriend lie's to you.?

Question

If you were involved with a female for over 5yrs. & the two of you decided to get married after exposing all of your dark secrets, How would you feel if 3yrs. later you end up
working with a guy that admits to being physical & recieving oral sex from your present "WIFE", Being totally
clueless that the women that he is discusing is your wife?
Part 2.
It bothered me so much that I had to leave work. I went home & I asked her about the guy, She said that they were only friends & never had sex.
So I asked again to confirm, She swore to me that she never had sex w/him.
So I showed her his ph# & address because all the guys
were going out to the club, So I told her that I would appreciate it if she went with me, Because I didn't like the fact of the guy lying.
" SHE PAUSED IN HER TRACKS", & started crying & sayed that she's sorry for lying.
Now that we've been married for 17yrs. I still feel betrayed.

" AM I SICK OR WHAT? PLEASE RESPONE

Answer 1

i can understand you still feeling betrayed. she cheated when you were married right?

there is one other way to look at this...she lied bc she didn't want to hurt you or lose you. i'm not condoning lying or cheating but if she didn't care about you she would have told you about it and left you. i'm assuming it was just one time. are you happily married? is everything else good? maybe you two should consider counseling. it would be worth it if it would help you to not feel betrayed.

Answer 2

Well the first thing I'd honestly look at is the fact that it happened many years ago. And there must have been something there, Like how old was she then. Immaturity may have played a big part in her decision back then. If there have been no problems in your marriage like her cheating recently and your marriage was good before this knowledge I'd accept her apology and move on in a positive direction. BUT I have to ask why did this aszhole from work tell you this? I mean was he even aware that she is your wife. How close of a friend is (was) he? Maybe he still has a thing for her and wants or wanted the two of you to break up. As far as feeling betrayed. No I'd say your feeling normal as we all would feel betrayed. I wish you the best in all.

Answer 3

Get back on track with that woman and GIVE TO HER the love that you need from her.
You let a freakin' ******** destroy a seventeen year marriage you are being an idiot.
People do things, Man. You have no actual privilege to info from before you.
You should consider the fact that she may be very, very unhappy with what she did, and wishes that idiot never was near her.
Women NEVER talk well about things they hate.
Consider this and extend to her that which you think you cannot. She needs it real bad! And you are the only one who can do it. At this impasse it is way more about her than it is about you. Believe that, Brother!

Answer 4

Seems like she really loves you and realises that what she did was a big mistake. She is feeling really guilty about it and doesn't want to lose you. Its up to you though of what you want to do. Either break it off or stay?

If you do decide to stay with her you and your wife will need to work on the trust and honesty in your relationship. Speak to her about why she did it and why she never told you about it. Just speak about it all and sort this problem out. Good luck!

If you break it off. It will be difficult and this way seems sad but its all up to you!

Sorry and good luck!

Answer 5

Sounds like this happen b4 you were together... EVERYONE has deep dark secrets that should be kept to themselves. You knew you weren't the first right...? Although she shouldn't of lied after the fact she was really trying to preserve the relationship not exposing herself, her dignity. Give her a break and NEVER bring it up again. I'm sure she's not giving out blo jobs now...right?

Answer 6

no man your not sick, ive never understood myself why girls will bold face lie to you , even if they know you know they are lieing. and then through out the "you just dont trust me..." and get mad at YOU for asking them.when the whole time you were right. finaly some time down the rode when they cant denie it anymore and they admit to it your just supose to drop it like its all over now. but let you lie to them about something and you are the most horable peroson in the world. ....but guess what man its part of being married to a woman. they are completly diff anamils. but you have to realize this happend befor you were even married or togather. we all do have our past and its something you have to be able to let go. it will just eat at you untill you do. explain to her its not what you did that hurt me, its the fact that you lied to me about it. good luck man.

Answer 7

You are a great person for having accepted her after knowing everything about her.
Whatever, she is not reliable and faithful.
Be careful with that kind of dangerous woman (called wife)
There is a proverb in India:
Once a pros, is always a pros.
Once a thief, is always a thief.

Answer 8

Of course you feel betrayed...who wouldn't?? If this happened while you were married, I'd dump her. If it happened before I would consider forgiving and seeking counseling....both of you. She lied to you about it because she was scared of how you would react, and hoped you'd drop it after she answered the first time.

Answer 9

you are not sick. Betrayel is a hard pill to swallow. You are always wondering if you can trust and also wondering what else she would lie to you about. You can't help it she brought that on by being decietful

Answer 10

No, you are not sick. I can understand your hurt but think about it from her point of view. It had to be hard and uncomfortable for her to tell you and I am sure that she was caught off guard.