i need help with my daughter...please.....?????

Question

My 12 yr old makes my life so stressful, i know most kids do that anyways, but she provokes me on purpose all the time .... a person can only take so much before they snap, we have just started counciling .. anyone else got any ideas to help us get along better please???Ps she's an only child,her father has never had anything to do with her I realise now i have spolit her ,always getting attention and what she wants when she wants and so forth, now i have a lovely bf on the scene plus he has 2 little boys, she makes life very stressfull.

Answer 1

Try taking her to a club to learn discipline and respect ,IE a Karate or Judo class this will teach her to behave and ,you might like to start yourself then you may grow to have a great parent and child relationship

Answer 2

The question is did this start happening when the BF came on the scene. If it has, you need to sit her down and tell her you love her and always will. Make time for a girls night, where you do all the girly things like make overs, and such. If not, every time you start to get upset, count to 10, look at her and smile, and tell you you love her, and that this is just a faze she is going through, and that you will both talk about this at the next session.

Answer 3

I understand first of you and your daughter have to learn to get a connected bond and she needs to realize that its not only her in the house any more if the bf is living with you but always make her realize that she will always be #1 on your agenda cause she might think ppl are taking you and her time away and she 's growing up so she might not feel that special feeling that she did before the bf and 2 boys came along so you need to have you and her time and tell her she needs to understand that you need that adult time to sometimes too but that you will alwys be there and love her very much

Answer 4

It sounds like to me that she is jealous of the new additions especially since she was always spoiled before. I think that you guys need to make some alone time together. Find a common interest like biking or even shopping (with a spending limit to teach budgeting). The point is to spend time alone (no one else) together to talk and have fun. Help her to find herself. She is at that confused stage and needs support now more than ever. Don't forget to still say "I love you" everyday, it really does mean alot. Try to listen to her, whatever it is, and not be judgemental but open minded yet opininated because that is your job to teach your children not be their best friend. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Have you just tried talking to her? I mean you said it, she is used to being the only child and having all your attention and now she has to share you....

Plus she is going into her teen years...I bet she doesn't even know when she wants you around and when she wishes she had a magic remote to turn everyone off....

Try to make her part of the solution, and remember to follow-up. If you tell her there are going to be consequences to her actions don't give in when it's time to enforce those consequences NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS FOR YOU!

Answer 6

well i can understand your frustration i have a 14 year old daughter and she was the EXACT way ,,, only child for 14 years and SPOILED rotten, and i remember when i remarried she went FLIPPO THANK GOD that with time she has learned to get along with her step brother and step sister ! It was really ruff in the beginning i even felt GUILTY like all the time heck i was even gonna leave my husband for her ! But i talked to her one on one and i asked her did she remember all them days that we were ALONE and we had to sruggle to be happy! And i asked her have i ever left her before ! You kinda REASSURE her that you are not picking them over her but that you want them to be part of your guys life ! It will take some time but she will eventually come around! YOU NEED TO HOLD TIGHT AND DO NOT GIVE IN TO HER,,, she will be ok just be patient with her!

Answer 7

hey..i'm almost 16 and I had the same problem...i was an only child,my mom was single(until she married my step dad,he's great!!)..i was doing the same thing..but not on purpose..don't think that..and be sure she is sorry everytime for what she is doing but she doesn't want 2 face the truth..you just have 2 hang on,don't take her serious..that's what my mum said..and i agree..kids can be a real pain in the back:).and with your bf..she'll accept him.i know it's hard 4 her,but after....:)..anyway,my advice:don't take her seriously,whatever she says:)..and good luck in the future...:)

Answer 8

Well, all teenageers do this i am 12 gonan be 13 next wednesday, 5 july and I know its normal. especially when u dont have the support of both parents. try beign nice to her, mayb goiving her some freedom, mayb its about a boy.. or spend more time with her if u see that she likes it, and spend less on ur PC good luck to you

Answer 9

It's all about the respect. Apparently she isn't respecting you and you aren't respecting her. When she is a brat take away privileges. When she respects you enough to act like a young adult let her earn them back. Stand strong though sounds like she has had her own way a long time. This won't happen over night but with luck and strength it can be done!

Answer 10

Unfortunately I think it's the age---"Preteen", I am kinda going thru the same type of thing with my stepdaughter. Kids these days just aren't like we were growing up. Kids are demanding, impatient and lazy. They want everything handed to them, wanting everything "now" not wanting to work for anything. I suggest counseling for the both of you. Remember to still allow time for just you and her. Going to church and prayer will help relieve your stress and help you make the right decisions while you continue to raise her. I wish you the best of luck. Eventually things will get better. Don't give up on her she is just trying to find herself. God bless you and your family.