For Moms: Do you feel guilty about going back to work after you've had a baby?

Question

As a mother, do you feel guilty when you leave your newborn with someone else and go back to work?

Answer 1

I think the majority of us do. No matter what we decide we will be judged. If we do we are made to feel as though we do not care enough about our children - if we don't we are not contributing to the household.
Do whats right for you - some of us have to work because we just cannot afford not to - its fine for others to tell us its a mothers role to be at home - but its also a mothers role to support and provide for those children - as much as the fathers if need be.
I returned to work after my first two children because I had to, I took maternity leave this year with my third and felt sick at the though of returning to work. I cried for weeks up until the time it was due to go back. My husband felt very strongly that one of us should stay home with the kids - which made me feel worse. In the end we worked out a budget where I could afford to stay at home with him, so I left work permantly. Fortunalty I have an understanding boss who has kept a place for me in a year or twos time. We are not well off and we have to go without any luxurys such as dining out or new clothes, but I feel better being able to watch my children grow.
Its totally up to you, do what you have to do and dont allow others to make you feel bad whatever your decision. Your children will not miss out as long as you provide a loving environment for them at home and spend the time you do have with them. Good luck I hope it works out well for you.

Answer 2

At this point i am a stay at home and the only guilt i have is not bringing in some income. this isn't caused by my husband, he wants me to stay at home and him to work, but I'm going back to college and getting a job anyway. I will feel bad leaving rune, but he's 2 already and by the time i finish college *going two days a week* he'll be close to 5 and starting school, so it's not the same as leaving a little baby. We can use the extra money me working would bring in, but daycare where I'm at would take more money than i could make in "post highschool" type of jobs like fast food and factories, which is why I'm going to college first.

Answer 3

I have been working since I was 14. I am now 38 and had my first child 3 months ago. My husband and I though we could handle the financial responsibilities but now I am facing the decision to go back to work.

The feeling is horrible. I think that the most important job a woman has is being a mom but in order to provide you must work.

So I rely on God and his grace/mercy knowing that the feeling of guilt and sorrow will pass.

Answer 4

I definitely did not with my first born - I was so wanting to get back to the life that I loved and had no support and no clue about raising a child. However, now I've got into motherhood and had a second child, I feel a bit more protective of both children and more hesitant about leaving them. But needs must and you gotta find someone you trust to do it.

Answer 5

absolutely! I had to return to work 6 weeks after my daughter was born - I cried the whole time and felt terrible about it. She is two and I still hate leaving her to go to work. I am fortunate because her sitter is a wonderful and caring woman who I completely trust with my daughter and my daughter loves her. But the mom guilt is always there. I think you learn to go on and work without crying and calling ten times, but for me, it is always there. I think it can be healthy because the child learns to cope and deal with being away from mom (you know, since we can't go to college with them) and for the mom, you have a connection with the rest of the world and adults. I think part of my guilt though is that I would rather be at home and I can't (I dont mean I can't so we can drive a fancy car and have tons of things- I mean I can't so we can buy groceries and eat and pay for our house). Good luck!

Answer 6

I had to take my baby to daycare when she was 2 months old. It was really hard because I was letting someone else take care of her without me being there. She got sick 2 days after she started going to nursery school and kept getting sick until my husband and I had enough. She had bronchiolitis, ear infections and colds.
We took her out of daycare 4 months ago, she has not been sick ever since. I do not recommend taking your kid to daycare.
I am still working, I just work during the afternoons while my husband takes care of our baby at home. I stay home while he works.

Answer 7

Thats a natural feeling.. I did too... but its good in the long run as my child now 11 months has learnt to be more independant and very sociable. I have no problems travelling with her anywhere.. and I think its because she is so used to the idea of not being around me all the time.

You gotta think about your baby... my mom used to give me lectures about being too attached to my baby... she always asks me what would happen to her if I was not around/ anything happens to me...

In reality I think we really got to look into all of these for the sake of our child

Answer 8

I'm returning to work on Monday. and I am physically sick over it. It's just a few days aweek but nevertheless I'm still feel horrible about it. I guess we could afford for me to stay home, but I need my sanity too. And It's good for my baby to socialize with other kids. If It doesn't work out, then I will quit my job and stay home.
Good Luck with your decision

Answer 9

You know I did with all 3 of my boys. But my daughter who is now 3 months old after having her just cant bring myself too. I have so many fears for her.
Have opted for working out of the home

Answer 10

After I left my kids with the sitter on my first day back to work I cried all the way to work. It's horrible.