Where do people get off tell young teenage mothers that we should have waited i mean its our decision?

Question

an then again what if it was wrong because it was a crime that was comitted in order to get the baby and people dont believe in abortions, But people always jump to conclusions

i aint giving her up for abortion or adoption although she was made from a commited crime

by the way New Zealanders Spell diffrently to other countrys so dont mock my spelling

Answer 1

Having a baby is a huge responsibility that most teenagers are not able to deal with. In your case, it sounds like you were raped, got pregnant and decided to keep the baby. On one hand, that's very admirable because that means you'll be able look at your child and see the child, not the rapist. On the other hand, when your child is old enough to start asking questions about the father, how will you answer those questions? Will you tell your child the truth and if so how will your child feel knowing they are the product of rape? Or will you lie to spare your child's feelings knowing that one day the truth will come out? How will your child feel knowing you lied?

Answer 2

I believe in adoption.

I think it is not a good idea for teen pregnancies because I was 26 and planned for my son and still have a lot to handle since I want a good life for him. Life is hard enough without providing and caring for an innocent child. A child that can be messed up very easily. If you really consider everything your child will miss out on if you are not completely ready to raise a child, you can understand why some people are so adverse to a teen having a baby.

As mothers we want our children to be well-rounded and the fact is that teen mothers don't always think about that or are not equipped with what it takes to have well-rounded children. As teens we are still working on ourselves and preparing for a family someday. And having children too young can hinder that.

I was almost 27 when our son arrived and my husband was almost 39...we still have problems facing our sons upbringing but we can pay the bills and live comfortably. If you can't pay all the bills or have some money left over and you are raising a child, it can only lead to chaos; which is bad for your baby.

We have everything we need, our house that we can afford, 2 brand new cars and raising our son is still just hard. We both want him to be successful in life (whatever that may be for him) but without being properly setup, we would only fail him and ourselves.

If you are paying the bills, living on your own and raising a child...I commend you but if you aren't living somewhat comfortably, I urge you to change the situation and keep in mind that your little one needs stability to become a valuable member of society.

I don't condone teen pregnancy...but if there is a teen out there who has the income and stabilty to raise a child...then do it. If not, you are failing your child or children and society...one day your children will be making the decisions we make and they should be ready for that and much more.

Answer 3

Maybe it's because we get tired of seeing young people throw away their lives for a few minutes of pleasure and lack of thinking. Come on, you'll understand this when you get older. I used to think the same way as you but I just hate to see our children throwing away everything because they want to act like adults before they have the mental capacity to handle it. Then once they get pregnant, chances are, they'll have to either get government help or help from their parents. Most teenagers aren't responsible enough or mature enough to handle getting pregnant right now. Another reason is, more than likely, they'll have to drop out of school and all they'll be able to do with their lives is flip burgers at Burger King, cause let me tell you, if you don't have a college degree these days then you won't get a good job. Most of all, the children that come from teenage pregnancy suffer.

BTW, A child is NOT an accessory that you can carry around and leave at home when you decide that it doesn't match your outfit. It's a living breathing person. It takes work. Most of the teenagers want to have a baby but they don't really understand what it means. Then they regret it later.

Answer 4

Because some people look at teenage mothers and see someone with no convictions who are irresponsible with their bodies, possibly even uneducated in human reproduction beyond the "insert tab A into slot B" concept. Every girl I've ever known personally who ended up pg in their teens got that way because she was messing around, some with more than one guy, with no regard for protection or her own future.

Also, in my opinion, I don't think that teenagers are capable of the thought process required to "decide" to get pregnant. A girl who's 16 doesn't have the grasp on life, much less the means required to make a responsible decision to have a baby, for those whack-jobs who get that way on purpose.

It's a shame that some people are impregnated through acts of violence (it's a shame that the acts are committed at all), and if you can carry and raise that child without resenting her, good for you. I hope you have a good support structure around you, you'll need it. In the mean time, do some realistic soul searching and make sure you know who and what you are, and where you want to go for yourself and your daughter. Stick with your good convictions and worry less about what other people think. If you live the best life you can, and you know you do, then other people have nothing to hold against you whether they think they do or not.

Answer 5

First off when people try to warn young teenagers about being parents at a young age is because they probably went through it you have to remeber that being a young mother means no more designer clothes no more slim fitting clothes baby needs come first before your needs and you have to sacarfice everything and you don't realize that no more hanging at the mall with your friends cause you have to take care of your baby no more going to parties cause you have a baby highschool kids will look at you differently prom isn't an option any more cause you will be in night school and that will be hard with your job and you would be lucky if the father stay around and if it was rape the child will remind of that day for the rest of your life and that isn't fair for the child

Answer 6

I'm in the same boat as you. I had my oldest at 18 and then my youngest at 19. It does get hiring hearing all these judgmental people "assuming" that all teen moms are the same. I'll be 21 in December. My girls' father and I are getting married in 6 months, we've never been on welfare, my mom doesn't raise my kids, and I was able to get my education. My kids weren't planned, I was on birth control when I became pregnant with both of them. I couldn't give them up because what was the point? My fiance and I were more than able to take care of them. I didn't get pregnant by some random guy. my oldest is 2 and her father and I have been together for 4 years. I'm going to college to be a registered nurse next year. Not every teen ruins their life. I know I didn't. I don't regret my kids at all. They are the best thing to ever happen to me. I never was the type in school that partied. I enjoy being home with my family. It really shouldn't matter to anyone else how old you are when you have a child as long as you have the means to provide in every aspect of bringing up a child.

Answer 7

i would say you should have waited because it is hard to raise a child its not as easy aspeople make it sound and they are young and have a lot to expeirence.i also think that some teenagers are and can be responsible when they become pregnant . i think when they arent and let there parents take care of child thats not right i believe if your old enough to consent then thats something that might happen.unconsenual is different for me i dont know what to say about that other than if your keeping the child make sure you will be able to look at that child with love and not see the bad that happened every time you look at that chid. i have 1 and only 1 and i love her to death of course when she was an infant she cryed all night long and slept all day it was very hard daycare is almost a whole paycheck its not always easy .

Answer 8

sorry honey some of us that have lived our teen years knows what is like financially,physically, and mentally. I don't condone teen pregnancy or abortion but I do encourage teens to get an education. Hopefully in the teen years while getting this education they will learn self respect and not 'dish' 'it' out to every boy who 'loves me' because that is just a line and most teens who happen to get pregnant during the commission of a crime would also find it very hard to keep the baby and the poor baby would probably be the one to suffer the most, and most girls that have a good self respecting head on her shoulders would probably not want to keep the fetus because she would probably have made some goals in her young life like college or a career. Most teenagers that do get pregnant is through careless sex and don't deserve sympathy because they got pregnant, but they do still need a parent to stand by them.*****reading some other answers only proved my point of an education including your question. also I do not have a high school diploma but I do know how to spell correctly and also they have a spell check at the top right corner of the text area.

Answer 9

I'm not a teenage mother, just a teen, but i hate it when i hear people say mean things about teenage mothers. My mum says things like that to me, like if we see a teenage mother while on the street and i'm always telling her not to be so mean. I mean, people who make comments like that are just so ignorant. They don't understand your situation, and they don't want to understand. It really is your decision not to give the baby up or have an abortion, and I feel glad that you were able to make such a good decision. If anyone ever makes a rude comment, just ignore them, or smile and say thank you it'll confuse them and won't create a bad situation or a fight.

Answer 10

Because taxpayers usually end up with the tab for raising these babies of teenagers. Why should it be your decision to have a child and then expect someone else to foot the bill. Also, having a baby at such a young age keeps teenagers from educating themselves.