2006-06-29 22:03:42 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've talk to him before. 1st time i flared up cos i was disgusted n 2nd time i was calm n sat down to talk it out. He promised me he will slowly cut down on it cos he's addicted to it but in the end, 3 yrs passed n he's still actively surfing the porno sites! I felt so hurt tat i dont even wanna let him touch me in case his mind's filled w those women with doing it with me! Am i too conservatives or wat? Pls help:(
2006-06-29 22:24:50 · update #1
Emotionally yes because it makes you feel that you're not enough for him and you feel bad that he has to go look elsewhere even if its on-line.
And you're afraid that it will lead him outside of the marriage into an affair with someone else.
2006-06-29 22:10:23 · answer #1 · answered by sunshine25 7 · 9⤊ 5⤋
No, cheating would constitute two adults consenting to a sexual act. Many men look at porn, it's natural and normal. It turns them on and that's not a bad thing. Women, tend not to enjoy porn, but if you enjoy it too, then it could be a perk/bonus to your sex life. Porn is like watching a movie, but the people are just having sex. The only difference between porn and a movie is that in the movie it is implied that two people have sex and they just don't show it. Now ask yourself, is watching a movie where two people are making love cheating?
Simple fact, men look at porn, it is not cheating unless he is having sex with that pornstar and so therefore don't worry.
Another thing to keep in mind, is if it bother you that much then you should ask him about it. I think you say hey, I know you look at porn and I was wondering what do you like about it? Once you find out what he likes, ask him is there anything he might want to try (make sure its okay with you before you do anything), and if his watching porn perks up your sex life great. If not, then I am sorry. Porn is just another way to get new ideas, to spice things up in bed, and if you are one of those women who are disgusted at the idea of porn and find it a bad thing that your hubby is looking at it, then you can tell him it hurts your feelings. Just keep in mind, that porn can be an assest to your sex life, even if you don't want to watch it.
2006-06-29 22:08:51 · answer #2 · answered by monavyas15 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very difficult question with a lot of shades of gray. The question i would ask you is do you feel that he is cheating on you? If you feel that it is, than you should ask him about it, let him know how you feel about the situation, and ask him to stop. The other side is, how do you feel about you and your husband looking at porno together? You need to do what is comfortable to you. But at the same time you need to be honest and open lines of communication with your husband. Don't attack him about it, just let him know of your concerns and how it makes you feel. if he gets mad and angry, don't talk about it then, but try to open a diaologe about it with him.
2006-06-29 22:08:36 · answer #3 · answered by Josh H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That means that he need additional sexual excitement, and he have fantasizes about that.
It doesn't means that he cheating you, but you must to find way he need this kind of additional "stuff" for his entertainment.
May be a good start is to look this porno site together, and to try to take advantage of this on your couple sexual life, increasing your sexual excitement like this.
2006-06-29 22:09:17 · answer #4 · answered by Nicolaie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends upon what you believe. If you take the words of Jesus Christ of Nazereth, He said if any man looks on a woman to lust after her he is already guilty of adultery. The thing is pornography is very addictive, what I would suggest would be to drop hints that you know and talk throughhis problem together. Hell, even pray!
2006-06-29 22:08:30 · answer #5 · answered by davidgplatt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not cheating.
Probably he is not sufficiently satisfied sexually with what he is getting and need something more. At least he is only getting his kicks from surfing porn sites, and not visiting brothels or having affairs. the latter would be cheating to me.
2006-06-30 14:51:49 · answer #6 · answered by tankee531 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Imagine he wasnt intereted in women anymore, would you be more worried? It is human nature to be attracted to the opposite sex. Atleast he isn't seeing somenoe behind you back. He is probably ashamed about it.
2006-06-29 22:06:22 · answer #7 · answered by The_Answerer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it will teach him things and teach him to be a better lover to you. If you feel it is getting out of hand, tell him it bother's you. I don't feel it is cheating on you. That doesn't mean you have to accept it.
2006-06-30 06:15:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not cheating! but looking i had this problem and sometimes still do, its ot cheating at all they are just looking and some even fantasize about what they can be doing with them, and it used to piss me off so bad but i get over it its like they are admiring something but not staring at it or flirting it turns them on it what they like but cant get! see what im saying? look at it with him . he may not like that but o well he does it!
2006-06-29 22:07:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I need more information...If you arte talking about sexual cheating...My answer would be yes,no,maybe,maybe not...Your question is incomplete...What are you missing/loseing in life with your husband doing this...?No best answer here...lol...Just something 4u to think about...Then redo your question if if this is troubleing your life with him...
2006-06-29 22:13:36 · answer #10 · answered by GyVuPhaYs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it's cheating and it sucks. probably, just probably and this is a very very long shot, if you gave yourself to him a virgin, probably just probably he'll be so respectful of you that he wont touch porn with a ten foot pole. lol have a nice day
2006-06-29 22:11:38 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋