I have been with him for 4 years, I was a virgin so he was my first sexual relationship. I do not know what to do. He loves to have sex but it doesn not appeal to me so I am not sure if it is him or if it is sex period. Is it maybe because I have not tried anything else? I do not want to cheat on him and I know he does not cheat on me but what can I do to make it better for me?
2006-06-29 19:35:58 · 27 answers · asked by Naomi M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Go to the public library, and read some books on sex and sexuality.
Also, read magazine articles, and whatever else you can find ... things that can help educate you on the subject, including what women expect from a man, what men can do for women, etc.
Find out what turns you on ... touch places on yourself and see if it arouses you. When you know things that arouse you, you can pass that information on to your husband during intimacy. You can put his hand there, or ask him to nibble on your ear, or whatever. He can't know what you like and don't like if you don't tell him. You can also ask him what you can do that turns him on ... but don't do anything that turns you off!
You might also consult with a doctor to make sure everything is okay, and also check to see if you are on any medications that could lessen your desire for sex.
You could also see a (woman) counselor to discuss things if you need to ... not neccessairly about sex, but what happens in the rest of your life will affect your sex life, too.
Educate your husband about the need for romance, being helpful around the house, cuddling, and foreplay. Sex is pretty physical for men, but it's more mental for women.
Blessings!
2006-06-29 19:46:59 · answer #1 · answered by Pichi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, how old are you? If you married young and never had a relationship with any one else, you might be going through that phase of , " I wonder what it would be like with someone else". Are you on medication that makes you not find sex appealing any more or are you just bored with the same routine? It's up to you to make it more interesting as well as your hubby. Don't cut him off if you are bored. Invent something new for the two of you to do to spice up your life. I bet he would be thrilled to find that you crave him like he craves you. If he's not giving you what you want, you both need to communicate and let each other know your likes and dislikes and maybe even your fantasies.... nothing wrong with having fun with your mate. The grass is never greener on the other side of the fence. Trust me on this one. I've seen enough of family and friends think that it was and now they wish they wouldn't have. Sad sad sad. Good luck and I wish you both a very happy ending.
2006-06-30 02:42:49 · answer #2 · answered by Tainted_Halo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol. I sit here with my old lady and its the exact same situation. I love to do it, but her labido could use a little help. I still love her with all my heart. I dont love her any less because we dont do it as often as I would like. She know this and I appreciate the fact that she recognizes this and I love her even more for it. I am just waiting till her labido to kick in around 35 so I get me some. But with my luck I will be on the down slide. I better get cracking while I still can. PS I am about to do it right now with her! She says no,but I am gettin me some. HAHA if she lets me that is. Damn you women!! Damn you.
2006-06-30 02:42:06 · answer #3 · answered by n l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish you could find an answer b/c I'm struggling with the same problem...we've been together nearly 5 years and I'm beginning to think it's him. I find myself attracted to other men, but don't want to cheat, either. I talked to my gyno and she said that it's pretty much normal for my age...not sure of your age but I'm 24. She said women have different agendas than men, and we can not possibly be on the same page as them...our minds work different. Other people have told me that there may be an underlying problem of depression that I don't know about. Alot of times, medicines like that help. I'm considering it myself....hope this helps!
2006-06-30 02:39:53 · answer #4 · answered by alacaliwest 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as ur relation has gone to more than 4 years so i feel that its a long period to be together .Better to contact with a sexologist and talk with him openly or what i suggest is first talk with ur husband about ur problem as he is the one who is gong to help u be positive about it and also try someother waysof having sex rather than boring bedroom sex which may suite u. participate actively.
Having good sex will ease out the tension between u and ur husband and will also bring u closer
2006-06-30 02:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
bottomline, talk to him. u cannot be afraid to express your feelings. sex is suppose to be pleasurable to both parties. second, u love sex or u would not be thinking about cheating. if u did not like it, then what would be your purpose in cheating. remember the grass may look greener on the otherside, but nothing changes about how u care for the lawn.
2006-06-30 02:56:29 · answer #6 · answered by SJ DUB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, cheating is never ever ever the answer
secondly, try adding foreplay and getting wild! speak up about those fantasies you have! They're ok! They make it fun and more enjoyable! Let him know what turns you on and suddenly you'll crave the sex more than he does!
2006-06-30 02:38:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
someties in a LTR sex can get boring, you end up in the same positions each time yo. Spice it up, perhaps you dont feel sexy yourself? When you lose that loving feeling, make out outside in the dark, like when you first met. I speak from the same situation, initiation, spontanaity and kama sutra can do wonders.......so can whip cream, chocolate sauce, pop rocks, handcuffs, naughty dice, toys, wigs, costumes!
2006-06-30 02:42:34 · answer #8 · answered by MuffinPuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to a counsler.
Try new methods, positions, toys, creams.
Talk to a dr. about depression, it can cause sex drive to be turned off.
Talk to dr. about any meds. you take, can effect sex drive.
Talk to friends about it, maybe he is too big for you, maybe he is too rough, maybe he just isn't doing it right to begin with.
Some people are just born with a high, medium or low sex drive by nature. Sex drive also weakens as one ages.
2006-06-30 02:40:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a sex/fantasy store. Look around and if anything appeals to you, get it. I'm sure if he likes sex, then he won't mind.
Good luck.
2006-06-30 02:39:00 · answer #10 · answered by heather47374 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋