i have a girlfriend for 5 years now we are getting married soon but i have a huge problem,,,,?

Question

She is very suitable for me and she is all i need for a wife except for the intimacy part.... We are not having sex regularly, about only once in 2 - 4 weeks. Partialy the problem lies with me cause i am not attracted to her physically(she is not physically attractive) and i acknowledge that i have had one night stands every now and then ..... i regret it but this is the problem i am facing, i love her but just not the physical side of it !!!! Pls trust me i have tried more than the ways anyone could have thought of in the first place.... Actually come to think of it another question would be that do i really love her???? Pls advice me, would really appreciate it very much....thanks

Answer 1

Don't marry her, how would you feel about her if she posed this question ? You aren't meant to be together so the only solution is to find somebody else.

Answer 2

Hello!

First of all this is a decision that only you can take and a question to which only you can answer. But as an advice, a wife should be for you both a friend and a lover, if one of them is missing that you have either a friendship or an affair/adventure, not a relationship in the true meaning of a word. if she is so special for you, you can keep her as a friend, if in 5 years you could't get over the physical problem. I had problems like this, to go out with a boy to which I wasn't attracted at first, but when I have discovered their true personality, the physical part didn't matter anymore and I fell in love. So, if she hasn't attracted you so far, then it is not probably love in a romantic way.
Both of you deserve to be happy and she deserves also to be honest with her

Answer 3

I would absolutely NOT marry her. It'll end with you both getting hurt.

If you can talk to her and agree on an open marriage, meaning BOTH of you are comfotable having other sex partners on the condition you use a condom NO MATTER WHAT.

Seriously, think about this one. Would you be comfortable with her sleeping with another man. If not, forget it. call off the whole thing.

I had a friend recently go through this, her man was no longer sexually attracted to her and slept around, though tyhey'd both agreed on an open marriage. The truth of it was she was cool with it on the condition it was a one-night thing that happened spur of the moment. When he actually sought out other women, she wasn't cool with it.

She slept with another man, and he hit the ROOF, then wanted her back. by then he;'d strayed too much and it wasn;t happening.

Add a kid to this equation and you have a complete disaster. DON'T.

Answer 4

Do not, I repeat, do not, get married to this lady. Sex is not everything, but a big part of some things. You are not in love, you just feel guilty about not being in love with her. Why make this one nice lady miserable, when you are making several other ladies happy right now, with your one night stands? You are not ready to marry anyone, my friend. Be a real man, tell nice lady that you only love her like a sister, and not like a husband should love his wife. Cancel all wedding plans, and you cool your heels
until you do find Mrs. Right. Cut out the one nighers, they are dangerous. Bet you probably know that. Read this message three times if you have to, until you understand it. Good Luck

Answer 5

JUST SAY NO! You don't love her! Leave before this gets REALLY nasty. Intimacy is important in a marriage. If you don't have it know it won't get any better in the future. You have cheated that proves that you don't love her. Women and men are not "suitable" for marriage. You are not arranged partners for life. Let her go with what dignity she can muster from being lied to for 5 years.

Answer 6

i think that you should tell her before the wedding.why would you want to marry her if you have no physical attraction to her, let her know now and let her have a chance to find true love.dont keep her thinking you still love her and will be there for the rest of her life, let her know that you want to be her friend just not her lover and you are going in two different directions, you have to do it now. dont let another day pass, tell her so you can be happy and move on. tell her so you can have a real life.good luck.

Answer 7

Why in the world, are you two getting married?

Are you ever going to be truly happy?

Marrying someone you truly love would make you so much happier then marrying someone, that you're not attracted to.

She might be better off without you, if you're having one-night stands, anyway.

How did it last 5 years?

Answer 8

Don't marry her if you aren't in love with her 100%. Your marriage is going to be doomed from the start if you are already cheating on your fiance because you aren't attracted to her. A marriage is not going to work unless you are faithful to her and love her - every part of her.

Answer 9

i think you should end it asap. the longer you wait the harder it will be on both of you. getting married would only compound your troubles. i've been there, so i know what your feeling. you may feel a tad bit shallow about it but if it isnt there, it just isnt there.
if you stay with her and marry her you will always have an empty feeling and yearn for something that you know will never be there. sooner or later it will either cause you depression or to cheat.

Answer 10

if you have one night stands on your partner then you probably should reconsider marriage! Marriage is for 2 people that love each other for who they are. She doent know "who you are" if your not honest with her. your living a false life, and being very unfair to her. Let her go and let her find someone who loves her and appreciates her for who she is inside and out. If you love her then you should know that she deserves better than to be cheated on. How would it make you feel if she cheated on you? or secretly thought you were ugly? think about it!

Answer 11

Sex is not everything but you don't want to get stuck in a loveless marriage either. It's obvious that your sex needs are greater than what you feel for this woman. I really don't know. I kind of feel like, if you can't be satisfied with her and true to her then you shouldn't marry her. It wouldn't be fair to her.