I am married (happily for the most part). I have met someone on this site that I enjoy.(she is married also) We often answer each others questions. I dont think we are doing anything wrong. We are not having cyber sex or goofy sh*t like that... We have sent e-mails back in forth just two or three times. I have to admit that I have looked forward to running into her here @ Y/A. I'm not trying to "get with" this person..... I dont even know her name, just a nickname. It could be a hairy old man for that matter!
I'm just courious as to why so many folks would consider this cheating?
2006-06-29 18:15:53 · 25 answers · asked by and,or,nand,nor 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My wife is a problem... She is my best friend... I dont cheat on her or myself. The person that I am refering to asked a question along the same lines as this on and most everyone said that we were in the wrong... I'm just wondering why,
2006-06-29 18:23:04 · update #1
TYPO!!! My wife isn't a problem........
2006-06-29 18:23:50 · update #2
ahhh, what a great question.
here is why: while men are turned on by the physical, women are turned on by the verbal.
any time there is superb communication/conversation going on, you're at risk for cheating. because, for many of us, we feel cheated not when someone sleeps around, but when they put their attention, their focus on someone else.
and for women, we LOVE the attention and focus that a great conversation brings. the internet provides the perfect venue for focused conversation.
i suggest that you get your wife online. have a chat with her when you're at work or on separate computers. you'll probably talk about things you've NEVER talked about before. and it just might give you that same excited feeling you got when you first met her.
the internet is a place of connection. as humans, that's all we really want. connection. :)
so, no--you're not cheating. BUT, why not strengthen your marriage with a little instant messaging? :)
gertie
2006-06-29 18:21:37 · answer #1 · answered by gertieok 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
ok, first do your spouses know that your talking to each other? are you hiding it from your spouses? Are you talking to each other about personal matters , like your marriages.. being the shoulder to cry on so to speak?
Theres all different forms of cheating, over the internet, with out ever even meeting, you can do what i call "emotionally" cheat.. Online is an easy way of being excited by someone else with out the feeling of actual infidelity.. but if your confiding to another of the opposite sex personal things that you should only being discussing with your wife, your setting yourself up for what could lead to a possible affair.. most relationships start as friends, then lead to romantic feelings... and the internet is a great place to just open the flood gates to other with out having to feel guilty.. but ask yourself is there anything your saying to this other woman that would make her question ur love for her, your loyalty , ect.. if the answer is no, then as long as your honest with your wife about it, dont hide it, cause well if you hide anything even if your not guilty , you know as a married man by now ur guilty by association lol.. so becareful know that although its just the internet, that their are real people behind the screens with feelings that can get attached, and never do anything that could jeopordize your marriage, no one , especially someone you've never met is worth that.. Becareful..
2006-06-30 01:30:31 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem a bit guilty, for such an innocent man.
I see nothing wrong with Cyber-sex, flirting and even webcam sex. You two are just talking right? So what is wrong with that? You have a friend who is a girl...online. You are fine.
As long as you do not TOUCH the other person. THAT IS WRONG, MAN. That is reality. That is the real world, you do not want to cross over. You are in a fantasy. The internet...believe it or not is not reality...it is virtual reality.
Don't be so self conscience. Relax.
2006-06-30 01:22:57 · answer #3 · answered by Titan A-X-E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the most part, wivies are more scared of the emotional part then the physically. You wife might be wondering why you can't talk to her the way you talk to this other person. We hate to think somebody has taken over our role as your best friend and we feel cheated. Well thats just my point of view.
2006-06-30 01:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by motherof3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am also happily married and have friends on the net, most of them married too. we chat, send emails, and also do not do the "goofy sh*t" that you refer to. I have not been accused of cheating because my husband and my children knows. In some cases, it has almost become a family affair. you do not need for people to tell you when you're cheating, you would know and feel this yourself.
2006-06-30 01:32:52 · answer #5 · answered by Rain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oky, its all a matter of trust. But many break that "trust by lying (I received those phone calls ) It all depends whats really said. I was told once a "Guy" on his msn was hired for our company. That guy" was a female!!! Who kepted calling saying they had relationship , when we been together 5 yrs... It hurts to be lied to So you say you were just friends eh???? If you care about youre wife just be honest, Maybe shed gain trust by meeting or share converstion with others, let her talk to youre friends and share interest, dont keep her in the dark.
2006-06-30 01:29:48 · answer #6 · answered by Weeny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am married, and find intresting people all the time on here, and I dont consider it cheating...not at all, I dont have cyber with anyone and I would never disrespect my husband that way..
I wouldn't worry about it all that much, I mean but if your wife has complained and said she doesn't like it you should respect her...
2006-06-30 01:19:31 · answer #7 · answered by ~Sinfully~Exquisite~Stalking~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your desire to invite the affections of a distant, yet convenient fantasy into your life undermines your wife's position as the primary love interest in your marriage.
Your wife is standing right in front of you. You are typing away at a keyboard. Something is not right here and now you are seeking to validate your failure as a husband by asking this question.
2006-06-30 01:21:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't know that it was cheating. If your wife would feel better, maybe you could all talk and be friends. Let her see what you write to this girl and vice versa. Maybe she is a nice person and if your wife sees that through you all talking, I think it will be good. Not only will she trust you, but she will know that your hers and hers only.
Good luck!
2006-06-30 02:02:52 · answer #9 · answered by blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't consider this cheating. There is a danger in fostering a relationship that will tempt you to cheat. Removing the temptation is good prevention.
2006-06-30 01:20:42 · answer #10 · answered by Christy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋