How do you get your husband to treat you like a wife again? It is like our relationship has just gone down hill and I am afraid that I am ready to look somewhere else. I have tried sexy clothes even none. He seems to always be pissed and/or drunk. HELP!
2006-06-29 17:52:04 · 11 answers · asked by Jamie S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't know how serious the drinking is...but my ex-husband never came around...no matter what I tried. We have been divorce for 5 years now and he is still drunk to this day.
Maybe yours will come around.
Good Luck!
2006-06-29 18:15:37 · answer #1 · answered by mitanbarr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I'm sorry you are going through this and second, I know how you feel. My husband was like that. He was either too tired to talk to me or too drunk to care. I have had some success with talking to him when he is in a good mood and was sober. I explained that it hurts me to be ignored and I know that isn't his intention, but it has happened. I asked him to please take at least an hour after he gets home from work to just talk to me. We have done this little ritual for about two weeks now. It has improved our relation by leaps and bounds. Just that hour of talking about our day together really keeps us close and slows, if not prevents his drinking. Try asking for only one hour and see where it goes.Good luck.
2006-06-29 18:00:31 · answer #2 · answered by danac210 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think alot of dudes go through this exact same thing. The pressures of work, providing for a family, wanting to succeed, etc., causes us "stupid men" to lose focus on what the most important thing in our life is, which is our wife. Unfortunately, us "stupid men" don't catch on to hints, don't pick up on feelings, don't process clues, etc. All of the above reads like a complete excuse for your husbands behavior, however, your husbands, and the great deal of men like hims, behavior is not excusable. It's not fair to you; he isn't being fair to himself; he, like the others, have fallen in to a pressured rut that takes a wake-up call to get out of.
You met, fell in love and married this man. You know he is a wonderful man with wonderful attributes that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Otherwise, you wouldn't have married him. Is he hurting you? sounds like it. Do you deserve it? no, no one does. Does he realize it? no. Even if you told him? no. Is cheating on him the answer? no. Does anyone deserve to be cheated on? no. Do you want to be that girl? no. Do you want to see the pain that it would cause him? no.
so what do you do?
You gotta rattle his cage! I mean, you gotta rattle it like it has not been rattled before. However, and this is the hardest part, you gotta do so in a manner that does not put him on the defensive. I mean, think about it, no one wants to be told that they are such a miserable person that the one that they love the most cannot deal with them. Unfortunately, that message has to be delivered somehow.
Everytime that someone mentions alcohol in a post, people jump to the conclusion that the subject is a drunk. Obviously, that is not always the case. You know whether your husband is or not. If I had to guess, drinking isn't the real issue, rather being upset, short tempered, not understanding, seemingly hateful, etc. is the real issue. Like I said, you know the answer to that.
I've never been to see a professional, but I have to believe that is probably the best thing for both of you to do. You know what is deep down in your husbands heart. You know how great he can be. Sometimes the greatest people just need a reality check, I guess. Seperating from him is not going to accomplish anything. Cheating on him or, as you say, looking elsewhere, is never the answer, and no one wants to become "that" person. It is completely irrational to believe that the answer to your husbands negative behavior is to shack up and become a cheater. If you can't deal with him, the least you could do is leave him with your own dignity.
I wish you the best. I hope everything works out. Remember, us men are stupid when it comes to these things. He isn't abnormal. You married him for a reason. Find that reason, rattle his cage, and make him understand the errors of his ways, because, I will promise you, no man wants to hurt the woman he loves.
2006-06-29 18:48:37 · answer #3 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm gonna guess you haven't been married for no more than five years. And if so ,your still in the trial stages .I've been married to my wife for almost twenty years ,we've got five children. And I've put that women through hell & high water!!! I would have to say that the most important thing that made me love her more & more was her ability to say I,m sorry ,when she wasn't in the wrong, forgive me when I did the unthinkable wrongs and I mean some bad stuff!!! She continued to show me that same love from the beginning. She showered me with love when I didn't deserve it. Which made me see what a beatifull wife I married. Don't give up, stay strong !
2006-06-29 18:29:31 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please talk to your husband about this issue. I know he may be too pissed/tired/drunk sometimes to listen, but if he still loves you, he will work this out. It may take a lot of patience and convincing to get him to pay attention to you, but it's worth the try. I don't know what the real situation is but I hope it can be repaired by some heart-to-heart. If you happen to be a nagging wife, stop all of your blaming/nagging and try to be supportive and loving instead. The chance is something is going in his life too the maybe you don't know about and he needs your help and understanding to get through it. Like I said, if he still loves you, you have a good chance at fixing your problem. Good luck.
2006-06-29 18:06:51 · answer #5 · answered by xena790 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing you can do, is give him a dose of his own medicine.. Men are like children sometimes, and sometimes to get what you want you have to use reverse psychology.. act as if your happy, that nothing he can do can bring u down, go on with your life as if his moodiness and imature behavior has zero affect on you..as if you dont care.. Sometimes men need a swift kick in the butt and need to realize they have something worth losing before they get their heads out of their rear ends.. heck give it a shot at this point what else do u have to lose?? doesnt work..go to the lawyers office and get some kind of documentation about divorces and leave it somewhere he'll find it, to let him know how serious u are about getting ready to kick his butt to the curb if he doesnt straighten up..
2006-06-29 18:49:43 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need marriage counseling. If he's drunk often, you may want to look into going to Al-Anon, it's for relatives of alcoholics. If he isn't willing to go to a councilor, then I think he answered the question for you. Good luck.
2006-06-29 18:00:25 · answer #7 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same problem, but reversed roles. Sounds like you husband has issues beyond you .
I keep buying my wife sexy clothes/lingerie/costumes/toys but she ignores them. Thinks I should just be turned on by the mere sight of her. I need more stimulation.
Sounds like you like to be playful, but he doesn't. Drop him and call me!
2006-06-29 18:02:58 · answer #8 · answered by tailingred01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In how many ways can six boys and five girls stand in line so that no two girls are next to each other ?
2017-02-05 08:29:45 · answer #9 · answered by Broderic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from my experience you don't stand a chance unless he gets a grip o the drinking
2006-06-29 18:06:11 · answer #10 · answered by *MY CHEMICAL MESS* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋