i love my hubby he is a great guy and doesn't deserve me to be questioning anything. But yet when I daydream and make goals for my future i always think of my exboyfriend as if he would be somehow part of it or wonder what he would think or what advice he would give me. does this happen to anyone else? when will it stop? i've been married 2 yrs.
2006-06-29 17:29:20 · 7 answers · asked by macasoga 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It does happen, at low moments especially in a marriage or any relationship, you think of the what if's or the could be's...Ask yourself why your X is an X in the first place.. if you left the relationship, well then their was a reason, and if he left you, well then he was an idiot in the first place right lol.. Sometimes its hard to let go of the past, because well we are familiar with it, comfortable with it, cause well the unknowing future frightens the heck out of us..
Seems to me that maybe your just possibly bored at the moment, or maybe the realization of forever with your husband has just actually settled in. Hes a great guy, but maybe you had some fairy tale in stored when you got married and your just starting to realize that fairy tales arent exactly the way it is in reality.. Be thankful you have a good guy.. love him for it.. whatever fantasy's you have of the x.. try to realize they are just that fantasy's and guess what?, id be willing to bet if you were married to the x, u'd either be day dreaming about ur now husband or perhaps unhappy with what kind of husband he would of made.. its ok to question where u are.. as long as you dont act on it, and as long as you can realize that it is just what it is, thoughts of "what ifs"
You married your husband for a reason, you took a vow, and you love him.. and some times loving someone so much and realizing we just gave our lives to another, scares us , to the point that we need "what if" back up plans .. give your husband a chance, let go of your past, give him the love he deserves , your trust, your dreams.. if he's as great as u say he is, you'll realize this was all just a phase and nothing more..
Good luck..
2006-06-29 17:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, first of all, it's not wrong of you to think of your ex. It's not like you married HIM. You just may have unresolved issues you need to get straight in your own mind. You've been married two years and even though the young ones on here think marriage is "so great and wonderful!", the truth is, it's hard as hell, when you are feeling bored with your spouse or times of longing for something different, it's natural you would let your mind wander back to a past relationship. I'm sure you ex has moved on as well as you (considering you got married). You have to lay the issues your having in your own head to rest. Focus on the good in the relationship you have now.
2006-06-30 00:53:32 · answer #2 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal. I can't stress that enough.
It doesn't mean you married the wrong guy.
What it means is that you wish that you were the person you were when you were with that exboyfriend. I just went through this, albeit LATE, but I learned that's all it is. I thought I needed a divorce and that I shouldn't have gotten married, or that it was all a mistake. No. it's not that at all. You are having a NORMAL difficulty finding your identity. Did you change your last name to his? So often women who do loose their sence of 'self' and start remembering a time when they knew themselves...often by association of an ex-lover.
Ex's are ex's for a reason hun. It's okay, just re-invent yourself.
2006-06-30 00:53:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you marry the wrong guy, and i am not convinced you really love your husband, maybe he is a great guy, but you love him as a person but not lover. think why you separated with your ex in the first place, must be something wrong, right? so stop wondering, if you really love your hubby you won't think of any other man.
2006-06-30 00:41:23 · answer #4 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO,you will never stop thinking of your exboyfriend,when you and hubby arent getting along he will be the first person you think about.but you are married and you do love your husband,it doesnt make you a bad person for thinking of him...we all do it some doesnt admit it openly thats all.just stay focused on your love for your husband and things will be ok.
2006-06-30 01:19:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to focus on this marriage and not on your ex, remember why he is your ex. remeber what he did to you to make him your ex. you are married now and should focus on your 2 year relationship and what the future hold for you two. good luck,
2006-06-30 00:36:23 · answer #6 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't have gotten married
so sad to see a guy commit himself to a girl that is not really commited to him, poor bastard, feel sorry for him
2006-06-30 00:47:17 · answer #7 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋