What do you think about an 18yr old getting married?

Question

Seriously, be mature about it. Don't give some **** faced answer like 'zomg itz so dum'.

Me and my boyfriend plan on getting married before he goes to airforce. So it'd be...soon. Not too sure when, but possibly within the next 2-3 months.

We've been together for 3yrs and 6 months. Neither of us have any doubts, we're just ready. Not to mention all the benifits of him being in the airforce and married. They send extra money home.

Anyway, I'm 18, 19 in october, and he's 20, 21 next saturday.

What is your opinion on young people getting married? I've heard a few different answers from the people I work with, and they have very different views on it.

I personally think if someone knows the person they're with and is ready....Then they're ready. I don't think it's right for one person to tell someone else 'you aren't ready for this' even though they can't expirience the relationship themselves.

"You are going to be doing it sometime in your life anyway, WHY NOT NOW?"
We've tried telling people that so many times, but it's like no one listens. lol. But yeah, that's exactly what we've been saying.

"its to young man you will be tired of each other in 10 years trust me dont do it"
See, this is what I mean. It isn't you in our relationship. It's me and him, and no one in the world can tell one of us how we feel about eachother now, and how we will feel about eachother in 10 years. Maybe you have problems commiting like that, but not everyone does.

To everyone saying I answered my own question...No, I told you my opinion on the subject, and I'm just wanting to hear what other people say. I didn't say chose my life for me, I said speak your mind on the matter.

When he goes to airforce he will only be gone for 3months. Time really seems to pass by quickly and I don't think it's that much of a deal. So yes, I am ready to get married and spend 3months with my parents. I've lived with them for 18yr's. lol.

People say it ruins your life, but I thought that was with babies? I'm not a slut, I can't just go around flirting with guys 'exploring my possibilities'. I love Tom, only tom. The only difference between now and after getting married is we have that much more of a reason to keep the relationship strong and I'll have a ring to brag about. ^_^

Thanks to everyone who said 'congrats' or something of the sort. =)

As for waiting....Not too much of an option now. He could be sent off to boot camp any time after august.

We aren't just doing it for benifits, sorry if I made it sound like that....We've known we were going to get married long before the idea of air force came along. It's basically more of a reason to do it.

Unlike alot of young people now, me and tom are far from party animals. Neither of us really have friends, not that we regularly hang out with at least, and we never go out partying or anything.

Yeah we're both a couple of antisocial wierdos. We fell out of those puppy love days after the first year. Now it's just normal to see eachother everysingle day. We aren't like those couples who are constantly frenching in the park, and they just met, or anything.

We already travel together, when my parents go somewhere they know Tom is coming along with us wherever we go. It's pretty much like he lives here

Sorry if I sound hard headed trying to make counter-points to some of the answers. I'm not trying to.

Anyway....I'm just going to throw this out there. I think it's nice that I found someone so much like me. And I don't mean in the childish way that we both like the color blue, and our favourite food is cheese. He actually likes red anyway. lol.

But what we do have in common, that I think is important, is our opinions on bigger subjects.

Religion is where we both hit the jackpot. We have practically the same beliefs....I won't get into the long explanation of what we believe in. lol. But it's nice because that is one thing that causes tons of arguements, and it's something we can't argue over.

Another thing I think is nice, is when young couples argue, they get PO'd at eachother and run away. Me and Tom argue about lots of things. But we don't stay mad about it. In fact, we get over arguements within the hour. It's never lasted longer than that. And we've had some big ones.

Answer 1

Are you ready to be married and be alone? This isn't about money or status, it is about two people that can handle staying commited and true no matter what and at your age that is a lot to bite off.
I bit it at 18 and found at 30 that I really felt I had missed out on lots of fun.
If your love is real it will weather the time in the airforce and still be strong when he returns. I suggest waiting so that you both still have the freedom without regret to experience the rest of maturing.

Answer 2

When it comes down to it, you're an adult and whatever decision you make will not be changed by the statements or opinions of anyone. If the two of you are happy and are sure you're ready for marriage, then there's no real reason not to get married. But you are very young, so you may need to think about just whether you're truly ready or not. Believe me, I'm not objecting to young marriages. My parents were married at 18/19 and have been married for 27 years. I've been with my fiance for 7 years and we're getting married in little less than two weeks, and I just turned 22. If you love him and he loves you and you've both decided that marriage is what you want, then what's stopping you? I would suggest taking a pre-marriage counseling for couples intending on wedding. That should help you make the final decision...plus, in a lot of states, taking a course like that will save you a little money on your marriage license. Good luck!

Answer 3

You have already made up your mind, you just want someone to give you an answer that will make you feel good about it. At your ages, I would say you are way to young. I had gotten married at 23 and looking back, I should have waited. I was also in the military and marriages started just before entering never seem to last. You may be the exception and you will last forever and be incredibly happy, but you may also win the lottery tomorrow. So take you odds how you want. If you can wait a bit longer, you can really think it out and decide for yourself, not for a little extra money.

Answer 4

If you don't think it's right for someone to tell you "yo aren't ready for this", then why are you asking the question?

From experience, I can tell you that it will probably be fine for the first couple of years. But after that, you go through some major maturing and you become different people than you are currently.

True, we are always changing, but not as drastically as you will in the next several years. Don't do it...not right now. You are acting upon emotions and the fear of the unknown. Let him go in to the Air Force without being married. If it's meant to be, then it will happen at a better time.

Enjoy your youth and freedom. Don't take things so seriously yet. Go to school, get a degree, get a career and enjoy yourself.

Answer 5

If you're doing it just for the monetary benefits, I can't see why not, but if you're doing it because you're so madly in love, I'd say hold off. If you're in love today, 3 years and 6 months into dating, and you know you'll love eachother forever and ever, then why not wait? What difference does a ring make? And won't that ring mean so much more when you've been together for 6 years and 3 months and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that nothing can break you up?
At 19 we all feel invincible, by life, by money, by love. Take it easy and don't rush things. Love is patient.
Good luck

Answer 6

I got married when I was 18. My husband and I met each other in October of 2001, got engaged December 23 of 2001, and married March 23 of 2002. Trust me, you will know if it is right, even if you hadn't been together for as long as you two have.

Although, I would be EXTREMELY weary of getting married before he goes into the air force. The military changes people, sometimes for the bad, no matter how good he is now. They go out and drink and party together (my brother in law is air force, and it changed him for the worse, he cheated on his wife of 3 years right after he got in)

I was with my ex boyfriend for 4 years before he went into the Army. I left him while he was gone, because I realized while he was gone that our relationship wasn't what I thought it was. Don't think I am a bad person, I didn't dump him just because he was gone, but because that happened to be when I realized that it wasn't as great as what I thought it was.

Absence either makes the heart grow fonder or farther away. It would be best if you can figure this out from first hand experience (ie. bookcamp) before you get married and he is gone alot. The 9 weeks of pain will be well worth it if you find out that you truly do love each other and can take something as hard as that. It will keep you from the agany of a quick or long term divorce too, seeing as how he will be gone with the military alot.

Now, my husband and I have been married for 4 years, I am now 22 and have 2 children. My husband is now 25. So we are the same age that you two are. We have a great marriage and are very happy together. I can't imagine my life without him. He is a retired Marine. I met him after he got out on a disability. We only knew each other for 5 months until we got married. When you know it is right, you know it. And, in case you were wondering, I did not get married because I was pregnant, you know young people can fall in love and have a lasting marriage just as much as older people.

But, from my perspective I can tell you that it is a little harder. It is hard to find young couples like us to hang out with...they are few and far between. Older couples look at you like you don't kow anything and that you are wet behind your ears. Don't listen to them, they don't know more than you do. People will look at you like you are crazy, and there will always be rumors that you got pregnant and had to get married. Just turn your back and remember that you are happy and that is all that matters.

About the benefits, you can still get them after he is already in, you don't have to decide now. It is up to you, everyone said the same thing about me and my husband---Your too young, you don't know what you are doing, it won't last....but look at us still going strong and doing way better than a lot of couples would do.

Answer 7

I don't think its crazy at all, but it highly depends on the situation. This is obviously a very big decision on both of your lives and you don't really want to commit to anything neither of you are sure about. It looks like both of you are on the same page so that is a good thing. If you were getting married at 18 and only dating the guy for 3 months then i would say yeah its crazy. Be honest with each other, love each other and be there for each other. It should work out.

Answer 8

You are correct in your staement that noone else can tell you if you are ready or not. Only the two of you know. The one piece of advice I would offer is this. Make sure that your free spirited partying days are over. Nothing will end a marriage of "young" people faster than when one or both feels like they have somehow missed something by being married so soon. It happens a lot and to people who thought they were ready before.

Answer 9

Honestly, this is a hard question, because now days the average age for marriage is around the 30's, but if you think of the past it was completely normal for a 19 yr. to be getting married, and those marriages usually lasted. So, i believe it all depends on your level of maturity, and your commitment to each other. Realize that it is a very big deal, signing a contract to each other. My best friend was married at 17 and her husband is in the military as well, they seem happy, she is now 19 with two very young children, its a lot for her, especially since he is leaving for Iraq soon. So, I'd say at least be patient and wait for children. good luck.

Answer 10

If you are ready go for it, I'm 18 and I'm getting married in a couple of weeks, my fiance is in the Air Force too, and we are living in Germany, we were together for over a year before getting engaged, although our relationship was a long distance one we worked it all out, and we couldn't be happier, I'd lie to you if I said everything is perfect, and that things will not change between you both, cause they will, but then again you both will change together, yeah, you will get a lot of benefits from the AF once you get married