how do i deal with the cow, i have to be nice for my husbands sake and all she does is put us down behind our backs she gets jealous because we got married out of love and she used marriage as a band aid, i asked her to b foward with me but he says she has nothing to say which is a lie.
2006-06-29 17:08:58 · 29 answers · asked by nell 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Ignore her. Don't hang out with her.
If you can't do that, just be nice to her and pretend that whatever she does doesn't bother you. She is probably one of those people who likes the reactions she gets from you. If you stop giving those reactions, then maybe she will stop doing whatever it is that bothers you.
2006-06-29 17:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by brains 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say nothing. The best way to deal with her is to let her and others see how much you and your husband love each other by being respectful, kind, caring and nurturing to each other. The put downs will fall apart as people will know what is truth and what is not just by knowing you both, she can do no harm if you don't allow her to hurt you. No one will place any blame on you for anything if you have done nothing to be blamed for when she tries to start problems with her jealousy. Sooner or later the cow will graze elsewhere and leave you alone.
One other thing; let your husband and his best friend do things together and sometimes make plans with other gal friends instead of being with his wife. When you have to be together, perhaps invite another couple or two over as well, so that you do not have to be with her alone. That will help others to see how you are even more and will give her a reputation of being a liar when they witness things for themselves.
Whatever you do, don't make him end his best friend relationship, as that is not fair to the guys. They can not help how she acts. (Maybe someday she will see that it is better to act differently - you could end up as best friends - it has happened before!)
2006-06-29 17:13:42 · answer #2 · answered by still learning at 56 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Healthy married couples should befriend other healthy married couples. If this woman is married to your husband best friend then that friendship is the one to kindle.
You are not obligated to be friends with HER.
with that said..............
I would also add that if she is speaking of your marriage in a negative way, and you know it to be a fact? Then maybe your husband should say something to his friend.
But do not stress your own marriage with socializing with them both. Your husband may see his friend, but I wouldn't encourage outings with them as a couple.
And be wary of how you approach your husband on this as well. After all this guy is HIS best friend. But your marriage comes first. Do NOT demand that your husband not see his friend, instead explain your feelings of the wife, surely a compromise can be made.
Good luck................
2006-06-29 17:22:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anna M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd be telling your acquaintances spouse that it become as a lot as her to rectify this matter and that if she did not then you definately would spill the beans on her. Why do you need to take the blame. the perfect time to attempt this may be at the same time as all 4 of you're at the same time and bigger nevertheless in case you 4 were in a crowd. in case you abruptly split on her in the front of a crowd then she will be so a great deal shocked that she would provide the game away through being instantly away gobsmacked. yet another component is in case you could take care of it to list the convo on you mob because the wonder of of you splitting on her will wonder her a lot that she will be able to no longer have time to imagine of an answer immediately.
2016-11-15 11:04:41 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to deal with people like this is to take the high road and don't react to them. Sometimes it's easier said than done but give it a shot. Be kind and pleasant, don't engage her in her nonsense...chances are she will get bored with herself and her own behavior and stop. She is most likely unhappy and you should have compassion on her. Wish her happiness and let her chatter roll off your back. You're a better person.
2006-06-29 17:15:55 · answer #5 · answered by Venusp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the grand scheme of life, the battle is not between you and her, it's between your husband, yourself and your future with him. Look at the long term. Your husbands best friends wife seems to be very short term oriented. You seem to be very long term oriented. You'll never get along even if you move past this.
2006-06-29 17:15:14 · answer #6 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She still in love with him and can not deal with a another woman in his life she never thought he would move on and marry again enjoy your husband and do not worry she will be all right
2006-06-29 17:14:07 · answer #7 · answered by donna g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront her face to face with facts of things she has said and who she said them to. Then remind her you could do the same to her but that it is pointless and you are very sorry that she is so unhappy but also sure there is a better way to handle it like counseling and creating a happy environment for herself rather than trying to pull those around her into her misery.
2006-06-29 17:12:53 · answer #8 · answered by yeller 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ick. My husbands friends wife is the same way. I hate her. I wish I had advice. In my situation, fortunately the couple moved away. Just hope for that, I guess. I sympathize with you!
2006-06-29 17:27:00 · answer #9 · answered by Maggie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her. They will probably end up divorced eventually. Just live your life and make her suffer when she's forced to see the true love between you and your hubby. Success IS the best revenge.
2006-06-29 17:18:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋