The bible says you have to forgive. But how do you forgive a man who has raped you?

Question

I was raped 10 years ago and after 7 years of seeing a psychologist, I am still not able to get over it. I live my life as anyone else but inside it still hurts. Rescently someone suggested I turn to God, and my priest says I have to learn to forgive. But how do you forgive when you never stopped hurting?

Answer 1

In my opinion, it's not so much a matter of forgiving HIM, but accepting that it happened. Hating him for what he did is giving him power. Power is what he wanted. Do not let him win. Hate what he did to you, but not him for what he did. Picture him in your mind and tell him that you hate what he did to you and you hope he becomes a better person. Hopefully you can accept that he did a horrible thing, but YOU are the person that will survive and move on. I hope this helps somehow...

Answer 2

I don't mean for this to sound like I'm being a smart alec, but it says that you have to forgive... it doesn't say that you have to be best buds with him. I don't know your circumstances, I won't pretend to. What are the chances that you will see him again? Is it a close family member/friend or just some joe off the street that you'll never see again? I'm sure it would be more difficult if you saw him frequently. God promises that he will not put on us more than we can handle. But He does test us, to see how faithful we are to His word. We cannot keep the anger and hurt within us because it doesn't leave room for the peace and hope that He promises. He doesn't expect our change overnight. He knows we are sinners and that no matter how hard we try, we're going to sin. But try it. When we turn something over to God, we shouldn't continue to dwell on it, because you're telling Him that you don't trust him to deal with it, but you've admitted that in seven years of trying to deal with it alone, you haven't been able to. Give it up. Pray for strength. Pray for wisdom. If you ever have to come face to face with this man again, He will give you the strength to deal with it, if you trust Him, and if you listen to Him when He speaks to you. Point of Grace sings a song with a verse that starts, "Speak a little softer, so I can hear you, above the noise, the noise, the noise, in this world; You don't have to shout it, for hearts to listen, just be a still small voice, and let the trust be heart." We often want someone to slap us across the face with the answer, when often, we just need to still our souls long enough hear the whisper. I hope this helps somehow...

Answer 3

In Philippians 4:13 it says - "I can do all things through Christ which strengthenth me." (KJV) There are times when I, too, find that it's hard to forgive. But I've found that when I sincerely pray and ask God to take away my hurt feelings I feel as if a big burden was just taken away and I'm able to forgive the other person. Going back to the verse...as long as you believe it to be true that it will be done. My prayers are with you.

Answer 4

I can't answer that, because I often wonder the same thing. I have not been raped, but things have been done to me mentally and emotionally by people and to this day I have a hard time forgetting and forgiving. This person actually asked me to forgive him and I said ok, but I have not forgotten. It takes a strong will to forgive. I would just keep seeking God's help, until you can do it!

Answer 5

It's not an easy thing and you can't expect the hurt to go away before you start the process of forgiveness. The holy Spirit is also known as the comforter. If you fast and pray for the comforter to be with you to help to ease the hurt so you can find forgiveness. You will be blessed with that companionship. As you continue fasting and praying, you'll find your heart softening and mending and before long you will be able to forgive. Remember To thank your father in heaven for the blessing.

Answer 6

I know it is very very difficult and hurt full. Although it didn't and never happened to me but i can feel what you felt.
Please even it takes very hard, try to achieve what have done to you and let it be the past of you, never look back. find what God want you to learn from this and his plan to your life. Every bad things must be have some good side of it. He never gives us in trouble that no way out. and He never gives bad plan for us.

I believe more worst something happened to you more best and something more prescious God will reply to you someday, He will Pay you more as a compensasion. Be patient and talk to Him and ask Him to open your heart to forgive that person and to understand what God plan to your life.
I pray for you my dear friend....God Bless You

Answer 7

You don't have to forgive.

Your priest will never experience rape. He will never know what you have gone through. The experience will always be completely alien to him. He has no authority, moral or otherwise, to tell you to forgive this act against you.

You need to try and accept your feelings, whatever they may be, and let them be a part of yourself without letting them consume you. A place for everything; every in its place. The pain may never stop, but you should be able to move on.

Answer 8

That'a a good question.I have never gone through that.I have been in situations, where I cannot forgive someone who has wronged me.I have tried to forgive too and I can't do it.I believe God wants us to forgive, but He forgives us if we can't forgive.There is so much evil but there is so much good too.I know no matter what you decide to do, that He loves you unconditionally.I was in a bad car accident, through someone elses fault.It has left me in constant pain, needing more surgeries, and I cannot forgive him.He walked away unhurt.However, I do think that if you can't forgive the person who wronged you, you are letting him"hurt you again"because your heart is filled with hate.BUT only you can come to the decision to forgive.God loves you and He will get you through it.God bless you!!!

Answer 9

You just have to forgive. Your anger/hatred/hurting isn't hurting him at all. It's poison to you and you alone. Are you willing to give him that?

You have to be thankful that you are alive. You have to wake up and WANT to see the wonderful things that this world has to offer. There are victims from the holocaust who were able to forgive and even WORSHIP with the people who abused them terribly and killed their family/friends. Are they healthier because of that? YES! They were abused and terrified. And that was out of their control. You have to control how you are going to spend the rest of your life.

Please trust me, I was in the same boat. And hanging on to the fear, anger and distrust only raped me further of having a wonderful and happy life.

Take care, God Bless and please let me know if you need to talk. There are wonderful things to be had in this world.

Answer 10

It's a hard thing to do is to forgive such a crime against you, but you must so you can have peace. Go to your priest and ask god to help you understand how too forgive. My prayers are with you. also I hope the creep who did this is in jail.