Today, June 29th, is me and my husband's 1 year anniversary. I got him 2 cards (because I couldn't decide on just 1) and a big bottle of cologne. I'm feeling very sad and rather heart broken. He did not get me A SINGLE THING! Not even a card. He's trying to make excuses and justify it by saying he did not have time. I told him that he knew this day was coming and he's had weeks, even months...but yet he did nothing. Is my being sad, the appropriate feelings? After he opened his gift and cards, he said he was planning on getting something 4 me on saturday, but to me, that's too late and the damage is done. Should I forgive him and except a late card, even though he KNEW about today? What would you do, how would you handle this? What should I DO?
2006-06-29 15:00:13 · 13 answers · asked by pink_phish22 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Poor you! You have to forgive him though. I mean what other choice do you have? When my husband forgets important things, I I try to make him feel a little guilty. The sadness and disappointment are very appropriate feelings for you to be having. I hope he realizes how important this was for you! =(
2006-06-29 15:08:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
To Pink,
Life is to short to make a big deal over the little things. Yes, Dear I know anniversary's & birthdays will ALWAYS be a big deal to us gals, but take it from a gal that has missed many anniversary "gifts" but that wasn't the reason that you chose to get married was to see what he was going to buy you on your anniversary & birthdays...You married him cause you LOVE him and wanted to spend the rest of your lives celebrating the day each and every day. Pink, does he love you? Does he respect you? Do you have fun when you are with him? Does your heart ache when you are not with him? If you answered YES to all of the questions you just told yourself what the most important things are. I don't think that men are EVER going to get a clue on the whole gift for special occation thing.
Life is to short to be mad over weather or not you got something...when you married you gave each other the most precious gift you could EVER have given which were your hearts and ya have to admit there is no other gift that could ever top that!!
Live life without regrets...Love like there is no tomorrow...And always cherish the people (& notice I said people, not the things) that are nearest and dearest to your heart. Cause you never know what tommorrow hold and don't ever take today for granted because the ones that are there today could not be there tommorrow..Like they say you don't know what you have until it is gone.
Now get off this computer and go to him and tell him that you love him. Your feeling are not to be dismissed but guys are a little slow. Accept his efforts to make it up to you, and you may just be surprised on just how good the "forgiving" really is...but if you stay mad at him and keep harping on what he DIDN'T do, give him a chance to show you what he really CAN do!!!
Hope it all works out, I wish you the best,
tntredner@peoplepc.com
2006-06-29 15:30:25 · answer #2 · answered by yruhere896 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him read what you just wrote to us... I don't think he realizes that is isn't that he didn't get you a gift.. it was the fact that he didn't put any importance on the marking of a year of marriage. I know men are not as sentimental or emotional as we are, but a first anniversary is a very special day to most married couples. I say accept his advance of getting you something at a later date..just make him understand that you were VERY hurt and that he owes you an apology for forgetting. I personally would have been very hurt and would have most likely went away somewhere and cried, then I would have sat him down and told him what I feel. I hope he realizes in the future that marriage is something celebrate and embrace on a daily basis, and doesn't belittle it again. Shalom.
2006-06-29 15:14:34 · answer #3 · answered by julianna76301 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that's too bad and too late. Nothing to divorce over though. But next year he will probably not forget the lesson learned (hopefully) . I don't think some men put alot of stock in these things as as women do. Your probably thinking he doesn't love you as much as he used and it's just not true. He probably shows you love in other ways.Not just gifts. Forgive him and if you want a gift next year remind him that your anniversary is coming up. He'll probably remember your hurt feelings this year and won't forget.
2006-06-29 15:12:49 · answer #4 · answered by wishorstish 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join the club. How would you like to be married 35 years and get the same treatment? At the last minute he said.. lets go out and buy some flowers. Only one florist was still open, he selected some flowers, and left me to pay for them as he wondered around the store! Exactly what do you propose we do about being treated this way? Is this grounds for divorce? This is not that uncommon of a problem. Some women revert to buying their own gift. What really gets my goat is if were a new chick in their life they would knock themselves out, but because they already have us, this is the way they act.
2006-06-29 15:12:03 · answer #5 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you. Listen, think about the other important things he forgets. Doesn't he try to make excuses and justify forgetting those things. Are you really surprised that he forgot your anniversary? Or, were you expecting it, but hoping--just hoping--he wouldn't forget this important thing? All I'm saying is that he is a forgetful person and that is one of the things you overlooked when you married him. Does it make it right? Noooo! Not at all. But the things we accept tends to be the things we regret later on. Please forgive him this one time and make sure he doesn't forget next time. Keep in mind, we still love these forgetful, but loveable guys...(Now aren't you smiling!)
2006-06-29 15:34:47 · answer #6 · answered by Hey! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you take a suggestion?
Don't put too much weight on your anniversary day. If he wants to forget the day, you do so too. Afterall, if he is a good husband generally, why bother about a day? To me it's significance ends in the fact that it tells me how long we've been married that's all.
2006-06-29 15:13:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet he will make it up to you. He probably forgot. Tomorrow is my anniversary. I was the one who actually forgot last year i came home and had a dozen of pink roses and ask what they were for it wasn't until he told me it was our anniversary that i figured it out. Anyway what i am trying to say is that sometimes we make mistakes due to stress are whatever is going on in our life. So forgive him and i am sure he will make it up to you.
2006-06-29 15:16:08 · answer #8 · answered by paramedic9742 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your feelings on this one. My husband did not get me anything either...he said it is just a hallmark holiday...but too me it is a special day not to be taken lightly so tell him how you feel and do not back down. Maybe he will remember you next year...and yes accept his late gift just the same but tell him that it does not make up for his stupid mistake.
2006-06-29 15:12:32 · answer #9 · answered by browneyedgirl3528 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hon, try to explain to him (in a non-accusative manner) how much that hurt you. Understand that not everyone needs gifts to feel loved and he is probably one of those people so he doesn't understand how much they mean to you. (If you read the book His Needs Her Needs this will make more sense.) As weird as this sounds don't take it to personally, he probably didn't mean to hurt you.
2006-06-29 15:06:13 · answer #10 · answered by on my way 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋