Ok here it goes!!!!!?

Question

I have two kids from a previous marriage; they are in their teens almost. I’ve had it very rough financially; but thank God they are very good kids. I’m dating this guy that I’ve known for a long time now, he is a really nice guy and he doesn’t have kids, he would love to have his own. I always thought I never have more kids, but when I’m with him and I see the way he acts with the kids in his family and my own, for some reason, I can see myself having a baby with him. I always told him I didn’t want more kids, but I know that what he is looking for in a relationship is kids and all. I’m over 35 and under 40 and it worries me to have another child, I take folic acid everyday, watch my diet, exercise and the whole thing. How do I know that my body is ok to carry a healthy baby? It worries me also that he smokes.

Answer 1

You *don't* know if you will have a healthy baby. How did you know with your older kids? You do everything in your power, then whatever happens is what happens.

As for the smoking, if you are seriously concerned (as you should be), let him know that you aren't willing to risk the future well-being of your baby and that you will only consider having a baby with him if he quits--permanently. Being around a smoker (even if he *never* smokes anywhere near the baby) is a risk factor for SIDS.

Answer 2

well, first, he should quit smoking - even a father smoking can effect the baby's development

if you think you want to have another baby - you are not too old. Many women have babies in their 30's. The chance of down syndrom does increase when over 35 - but if you are healthy and phsycially okay, their is no reason to not have another baby -if you want to. Your doctor can give you a preconception check up and tell you how healthy your reproductive organs are and if there is anything you should do to increase your chances of pregnancy - the fact that you take folic acid is good because it helps to prevent spinal defects with the developing baby

So, first, decide for sure if you want to do this again - if so, good luck and congrats and go see your doctor

if not, that is okay too!

Answer 3

Talk to your OBGYN and discuss the risks before deciding. Plus I think you are putting the cart before the horse. Do you want to end up a single mom of three kids? Wait until the ring is on the finger and the I Do has been said. But you should know the risk to baby and mom increases after 35 , this includes the risk for preterm labor as well as birth defects like down's syndrome. If he really loves you then whether or not you can have kids will not matter and adoption is always a wonderful option.

Answer 4

If you have faith in God then your baby will turn out just fine. Don't let any doctor or anyone else tell you wether or not you should have a baby. My mom had a baby, unplanned, and she is 2 years old now. My mom had her when she was 42. My baby sister is healthy and the biggest blessing we have ever received. The doctors tried to convince her to have an abortion, how dare they, and they said it was a bad idea. As long as you have faith and take care of yourself as in not lifting heavy objects, eating right(no soda, no lemon, no junk food, etc.,) take your prenatal vitamins, and your baby will be fine. Good Luck and God Bless and don't let anyone discourage you.

Answer 5

I think it's fine to have a baby over 35, just make sure you get good prenatal care. My sister-in-law had her first when she was 39 and she had no problems at all. Another of my friends had her second and she was 38. Again, no problems. I think it depends mostly on your health. Talk to your Dr. I know smoking reduces your sperm count, but I don't think it's a drastic amount. Make him promise not to smoke around the baby...ever. My friend's husband only smokes outside.

Answer 6

You could always get a complete physical before deciding to have a baby. And many women have babies over 35 these days, i have a friend that is 37 and has a teenage daughter a one year old and is 8 months pregnant as well, and her babies are fine!!!!

Answer 7

Well, no matter how well you take care of yourself, your eggs only stay "fresh" for so long. But you are right in the beginning of trouble times, so it's less of an issue than if you were, say, 50. I would personally negotiate that he quit smoking though, if you plan to carry his child. Only fair. I say this from personal experiance because I have asthma, and it is contributed to my father smoking around me for the first 12 years of my life. Not cool!

Answer 8

if he is a smoker then have him go outside or try to quit. as far as you go i would see a doctor and see what they say because it has been said that once a women hits thirty-five then thwere are more chances of birth defects and all but on the same note i know a lot of women who have had kids at 40 and up and 35 and their kids are fine as well as themselves.
talk to a doctor
and only have another one if you truly want to
good luck

Answer 9

GURL we are in the same boat.........my BF is 12 years my senior.....i am 34 w/ two kids, my husband is deceased and my BF and i are planning our wedding............he loves my kids (our kids) and they love him, they have taken to him and have accepted him w/ open arms, i work out 5 days a week, yada yada......all i can say is - that if it feels right do it.......i would take all the necessary test to make sure there won't be any problems and then i would go for it..........have fun trying.....GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

If it feels right for you to have a baby then talk to your doctor about your concerns. I had my son at 36 and there were some risks and complications but I had an excellent doctor who stayed on top of it. Talk to them, you won't regret it.