2006-06-29 14:55:58 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Dr. Phil uses a chair to demonstrate that a relationship is like a chair. "If you've got four legs on a chair, it's real solid," he says. He points to the legs and says, "You've got friendship. You've got common mission and values over here. You've got a negotiated division of labor and priorities over here. You've got sex and intimacy over here. But if all you have is one leg, do you want to come try and sit in this chair?"
Heather shakes her head no.
"You've got a relationship that's standing on one leg. It was based on sex. It was based on intimacy, and so it just falls," Dr. Phil says.
"I agree," Heather says.
"No matter what you do, it falls. There are not four legs to make it solid. So when you ask me, 'Why aren't we getting along?' That's why you're not getting along. You've got a relationship that's a one-legged chair. It's hard to sit in a one-legged chair. And you've been trying to do it for eight years," Dr. Phil says.
"You've got no common goals. You've got no plans. You don't have a plan that both of you are excited about," Dr. Phil continues.
"Kids," Jeff says.
"Kids aren't plans," Dr. Phil says. "Kids aren't jewelry either. You don't just have kids because you think that would be fun. When you bring children into the world, you have to step back and say, 'Can I provide them with a healthy and nurturing environment? Can I give them stability here where they grow up with love and caring and proper modeling between a mother and father about affection, integrity, emotionality? And what this was marked by was not love and a common plan, it was marked by guilt."
Dr. Phil tells them that they need to start building some fundamental cornerstones into their relationship or it's never going to get better. "The problem is, as you get older, your children grow up, they start getting burned by what you're doing. I hate to see them pick up the tab for what's going on," he says.
2006-06-29 15:00:34 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A relationship should be more than great sex. You need to enjoy doing things together. Be able to talk about any thing and just enjoy each other. The sex can come later and will mean a great deal more than just having a sex relationship. Because you won't know if they care about you or just the sex
2006-06-29 15:00:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stronger in other ways and great sex!!! The simple fact is humans use sex as a way of connecting to other people...we are at the root of it all, animals...sex will always be important...on the flip side, if the other things aren't there (communication, trust, etc.) the relationship can not prosper.
2006-06-29 15:02:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that a relationship without sex, but is stronger in other ways would be stronger. Because once you have had sex with a person you have nothing left to share.
2006-06-29 15:00:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if there's no sex, that is a sign that something's very wrong. Don't get me wrong, the sex is the icing on the cake but why wouldn't you want any icing on your cake? So the bottom line is, if you don't want sex then I doubt it is strong in other ways (unless it is a non-romantic relationship).
Now, if it is non-romantic, that can be better than a relationship with great sex (since sex just clouds everything up and adds all kinds of emotional crap).
But all else being equal, I would prefer to have great sex rather than not have great sex. Duh.
2006-06-29 14:59:42 · answer #5 · answered by I Know Nuttin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can have one without the other. Sex is just as important as the other things that make a relationship great. My husband and I have an amazing relationship. The sex is awesome too!! Seriously, knowing that we make each other happy in every way is wonderful.
2006-06-29 15:00:25 · answer #6 · answered by natasha s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends a lot on the circumstances.In the case of Christopher and Dana Reives, there could no longer be sex because of his condition.In that case, the person has not changed except for the fact he or she can't have sex.There can still be a close relationship without.Under normal circumstances,I wouldn't want a relationship with out sex. That is one of the most wonderful parts of loving someone.I hope this helps.
2006-06-29 15:08:49 · answer #7 · answered by Tyna S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe the guys will answer differently than the girls- haha. I would say the latter definitely. I suppose you want a reason? Well you can do things yourself any time you want but you can't get along with someone or have other stronger areas of a relationship all the time so I would rather have the second choice.
2006-06-29 14:59:34 · answer #8 · answered by Dani Bo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationship with great sex is the best
2006-06-29 14:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by gregoriothio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well If he give me some great pleasure below the belt than I could go with no sex but a stronger connection. Although great sex would be good.
2006-06-29 14:59:08 · answer #10 · answered by Tarabeara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a relationship with no sex but stronger in other ways
2006-06-29 14:58:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋