I am masculine, but I don't understand why gay guys always want guys who are not flaming. My boyfriend is extremely "girlie". My boiz hate the idea of me dating someone so "gay". Aint that self hatred on their part? Is there such a thing as too gay?
2006-06-29 14:15:53 · 26 answers · asked by Vell g 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Great point Zippy
2006-06-29 14:23:59 · update #1
Different things work for different people.
Find one that works for you and go for it. Adjust accordingly as required, but make sure it is on your own terms.
Like me, I prefer my Man to not be girlier than I am. That is not what I signed up for. I personally like Gay men who can command attention, butchiness a plus.
I am pretty sure that Gay men also gravitate to the other side of the equation which is they prefer Girlier acting men than they are. Otherwise all the drag queens n Palm Springs will be sigle.
All I am saying is, it is all about how you feel about the other guy. Is it Love? Then who cares what the F the other people think.
2006-06-29 14:23:02 · answer #1 · answered by elymendoza1984 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I can only answer as a bi woman. I don't want a butch, if I wanted someone that looks/acts like a man I'd get the real thing.
I embrace the things that make a woman, a woman. The softness the smell, the sensuality. Looking for something other then that in a woman, to me, is contradiction of my femininity.
Yes I have seen 'too gay' and wondered what was the point and why?!
Ultimately, as with anything else, the bottom line is are you happy with the choices you make...if so who cares what the boiz think!
2006-06-29 14:38:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gay guys don't all want straight acting men. Some men do some men don't care.
It's more difficult for a nellie type to blend in to the background, they are seen by some guys as being "inconvenient" or difficult to explain in a mixed (gay and straight) environment. Self hatred is a little strong but I see your point.
It's the person or personality that interests me, the presence or absence of feminine mannerisms is of little importance. I've know some wonderful men that are flamers and so much fun to be with. Your friends may be missing out on a lot. Too gay? I don't think so.
2006-06-29 22:11:00 · answer #3 · answered by allankw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand it, either. I think it is "internalized homophobia" -- basically hating what they see as "weak" in themselves. But, some people always have to have someone to put down so they can feel good about themselves.
In a way, it's also putting down women, because they are objecting to what they see as "girlie" behavior. What's wrong wtih women? And who decided that some behavior is "girlie" and some is "straight-acting"? I've spent a lot of time around straight people (if you can imagine) and I don't know that they have any stereotypical way of behaving.
Seriously, I don't see that there is any such thing as being "too gay." People are who they are, I say let them be.
2006-06-29 16:24:30 · answer #4 · answered by blueowlboy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Flaming behavior is learned. For whatever reason, the individual has chosen to behave in this manner, perhaps to announce his sexuality to the world. I was called out by my sister who noticed I had picked up some flaming mannerisms when I moved to SF, and I realized I didn't need to adopt a persona, I could just be who I was.
I have felt moved to tell some queens "You can drop the lisp, I already know you're gay". For me, at least, its not that I want someone straight acting because that too can be an adopted persona. I just want someone to be real.
2006-06-29 14:29:23 · answer #5 · answered by dougeebear 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Forget about the stupid, gay bashing answers...silly people tend to stick their noses into things they have no knowledge of. WE are victims of our culture, where Men are men...it makes no difference if you are gay or whatever, we have an inherent disdain for flamers ... even flamers don't particularly like other flamers. To me, it makes no difference ... it is the person underneath all the hullabaloo that counts...but as a lover, I prefer a less flamboyant person. I tend to be uncomfortable with people who want the limelight, no matter how it is gained. I have had many friends who were so gay that I wanted to bash them at times...but they sure can make you laugh...so much wit. And no, this is not "self hatred." I am not particularly effeminate OR falsely macho..I can't speak for anyone but myself. And I have.
2006-06-29 14:46:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am masculine acting (I think). I am not attracted to girlie guys at all. I don't exactly understand them either. I can't relate. I would rather be around someone that acts more like me. Girlie guys can come off being immature and annoying (my opinion) and embarrassing to be around. If I wanted a girlie acting guy, why not just date a girl? But I ain't really attracted to women. I would rather be around a guy who seems more "normal" because he seems to be more genuine. Girlie guys, to me, just put on an ACT. They seem fake/false.
2006-06-29 14:22:54 · answer #7 · answered by Zippy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I kno' that I like straight-acting men because they often, but not always, seem more masculine than flamers. I'm attracted to masculinity because I'm gay. If I wanted feminity in a partner, I would likely go for women.
2006-07-01 16:23:51 · answer #8 · answered by GVG 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gay men want straight acting guys because they act normal and they are rough around the edges and good in the bedroom because they can get dirty, while girlie guys just act way too much like girls, that's no attractive
2006-06-29 18:39:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well I am a masculine guy, the first guy I dated was girlie. I mean he wanted to wear skirts and heels and pantyhose. now if your a cd that's fine, but if you are just a gay man than be a gay man. masculine men turn me on much more that fem. if I wanted to date someone who likes wearing skirts than I would go for girls.
2006-07-01 01:46:30 · answer #10 · answered by Jk777779 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋