How should I handle this?

Question

I recently found out my friend, who is underage, smokes. First off, it's illegal, and second I wouldn't really care if she was old enough or not, I wouldn't want her doing it. I don't want to 'tell an adult' because she's a good person and a great friend and that would just screw our friendship up. She says she doesn't do it often, only when she's stressed. Even though she says that, I don't want her doing it. I figured I could just throw the pack away, but she could always get a new one. I want her to flat out quit and know herself that it could kill her. Help!

Allright, I'm sick of this. I am NOT going to stay out of it. People keep saying if I try to force it I'll lose a friend? Huh? Well, at least if I lose her that way she won't be gone forever; she won't be DEAD. Or sick. Or dying. If you smoke, go ahead and smoke your little but to the grave, I want my friend to stay here with me on Earth, not IN the earth.

Answer 1

try to talk to her about it, that you want to help her, but if she don't listen to your advice just let her what she want to do in her life, but atleast you tried to help her, so whatever happend to her it's not your fault.

Answer 2

All you can do is talk straight to your friend about how you feel . She is your friend for a reason, you two must be able to talk to each other as friends do. Then it is all up to your friend, she will decide to stop or not stop, have you ever heard of " you can lead a horse to water but you can"t make it drink?" Well it is all on her. If she decides to continue to smoke and it makes you still feel against it then it's your decision as to what to do? A friend is just that a friend, you can offer your help to quit and to give information as to why quit but you can't make her quit. Your intentions are all good but just remember to be a friend and listen to her, what are her stresses? maybe you can then help with those issues and she won't need to smoke, give her time after you have spoken about her smoking, be reasonable if she still doesn't want to stop then you decide what kind of friendship you really want, what is important to you in a friend, just because she is a friend don't compromise your own feelings. Good luck

Answer 3

You need to tell an adult as much as you dont want to even if it will screw your friendship. Just like you said you would rather have her on earth than in the earth. Never mind that she will get angry(becos that's the first thing she will do) Some day she will think how you helped save her life and will thank you. That is what good friends are for...telling the truth even if you will end up fighting.

Answer 4

I know what you're talking about. I wish i had a friend like you when i started smoking. I know this might be really mean but if you really care about your friend and her parents care enough to make sure she won't do it ever again. Then i would say set her up so she gets caught by her parents smoking. You could try talking to her parents and setting up a trap with them so she doesn't know you're working with them or you could try planting cigarettes in a place where her mom will find them before she does. Good Luck!

Answer 5

You can't make anyone do what they do not want to . I have been trying to get my nanny to quit for years. Nothing I said would make her want to stop. A few months ago she decided to go and get hypnotized to help her quit smoking and it worked. She hasn't smoked for over 5 months now ! You said that you didn't want to tell an adult because you didn't want her to get in trouble and not want to be your friend anymore. You need to tell someone soon before she gets too addicted . Yes she will be very mad at you , buy hopefully she will get over it and see that you just told someone because you love her as a friend and you don't want anything to happen to her. I hope everything works out for you two. Good luck !

Answer 6

Saying she only smokes because she's "stressed" is all in her head. Smoking doesn't calm you down its just a myth and it's what everyone is told and heard, so people think it actually works!
This might sound stupid, but you should try and put a pamphlet together for her, about smoking and the harmful effects it does to your body physically and internally. This might give her a good scare and it will make her think twice.
(Guys think girls who smoke are unattractive anyways..tell her that)

Answer 7

It is possible to convince your friend to quit smoking! I think that you have to show her videos and picturers of the deadly effects of smoking. But not just a few pictures; smoking negatively affects every part of the body, so you can find a lot of very scary videos and pictures. In addition to that, try to convince her that smoking is dangerous by using intimidating pieces of information such as “each cigarette costs a smoker 6 minutes of his life.” *
If you feel that you can't get her to quit, definitely contact an adult!!!
Don't be afraid even if your friend will get angry at you; she will soon get over it and will continue to be your friend as if nothing happened.
Good luck with getting your friend to quit smoking!

Answer 8

I would tell her exactly what I would tell my own children: "I love you, and I will always want you to be safe and healthy. If my nagging about smoking makes you angry, that's a risk I am willing to take".

Also - it sounds like she needs an outlet for her stress that's NOT smoking. Spend time with her exploring other ideas. This could be exercise, dancing, singing really loud to your favorite songs, watch a really stupid & hilarious movie, pet your dog or cat, and whatever else you and her could enjoy doing together.

Answer 9

Well do what you just said you wanted to know, not kill her I mean. Tell her all the dangers of smoking, and how that since she claims she doesn't do it often, she'll become addicted to it more and pretty soon be on the road leading to bronchitis, lung cancer and all the other things that are after affects of smoking.

Here's a website that can help:

http://quitsmoking.about.com/od/teensmoking/

Answer 10

Kacey, I think you are very brave and wise beyond your years. It is so much easier to never start smoking than to try to quit once you are hooked. Maybe you and your friend could go and volunteer at your local hospice--that way she would see first hand the effects of smoking long term--believe me it is an eye opener, helped me to quit! Good luck.

Answer 11

Thing to do #1 - Tell her she smells, tell her that her teeth are turning yellow, tell her her hands are looking kinda shabbey, tell her her breath smells, tell her that her hair will fall out, tell her that her voice is sounding raspy. Even if none of these things are really true, say them to her as if they are really going on. These are all things that happen when someone smokes. At both of your ages, these things are very important NOT to have happen. It's important to most people not to have these things happen but at the ages your friend is (younger than 18 I am assuming, it's VERY important.
Thing to do #2 if #1 does not work. Write an anomonous letter to her parents, to her teachers to her principal to anyone who cares about her telling them that she is smoking. Not really to "tell" on her but to show concern. Pretty much write what you did in the yahoo question to parents, teachers, aunt and uncles, principal, brothers, sisters...anyone. Even one to yourself so it does not look like you sent the letter... Hopefully answer #1 will work though.