How do cope with husband having an affair w/ sister in law?

Question

I know it sounds like we need to be in Springer. However, we are church going good people whose life sounds like we are on a soap opera. I found a sexual email from my sister in law to my husband. She was also my best friend and we did everything together. Obviously, they had been together for over a year or more. When I called my brother in law and read him the letter, he chose to bury his head in the sand. I have been to counseling for 6 months now but I don't trust my husband that it is over. I am embarrassed to say I find my self looking at his phone calls and emails. She is gorgeous and weighs maybe 90 pounds. I am 140. Both say it is over and that it was more an emotional affair and that they only kissed once. Ya right!!!!!! And the check is in the mail. Help! My husband gets angry when I bring it up and tells me not to rub his face in it. Should I divorce him after 20 yrs of marriage? Am I an idiot for staying? Please answer my heart is hurting . Thanks!

Answer 1

seeing as to its been 20 years, I think you should let it be. YOu confronted, they acted guilty and they said its over. Your marriage doesnt have to be. [over] You can just repress it out of your head and pretend that it never happened, as long as it doesnt persist and happens again, and your husband or sister in law doesnt bring it up ever again, I believe it can be worked out.
It is not like he slept with 5 other women, and orders hookers every weekend and lies to your face. It is somethng more personal, "in the family" that can be kept that way and may be forgotten.
I dont know...may be Im way out on the limb there, and am wrong, but I think you should try to save your marriage. DOnt throw 20 years away ! Good luck

Answer 2

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
How do cope with husband having an affair w/ sister in law?
I know it sounds like we need to be in Springer. However, we are church going good people whose life sounds like we are on a soap opera. I found a sexual email from my sister in law to my husband. She was also my best friend and we did everything together. Obviously, they had been together for...

Answer 3

You have no proof that it wasn't just an emotional affair. If they were found out they really have no reason to lie about it. Talk to your husband about how you feel - but the key thing here is that you need to truly forgive your husband and your sis in law - when you truly forgive them you won't rub it in their face, and you will move on.
You shouldn't leave your marriage over this. You are more than capable of forgiveness if you truly want it. You should also ask your husband to go to counseling with you. He is the one who cheated - and there are issues there that need to be dealt with.

Answer 4

Twenty years with someone is impressive at the very least, and it seems like a waste to just throw that away. However, you have been betrayed, not once, but twice. My heart goes out to you, but I think you need to do what is best for YOU. Life is too short, this man clearly showed no respect for you or your relationship. If you still love him , and can let the past be the past, then give it a shot. If not, then move on, and never look back. And find someone who is treats you like a beautiful Queen! Good Luck!~

Answer 5

the answer to this question can only come from you. I understand what you are going through. been there done that. if you truely love him then try to keep the relationship together but you husband needs to remember trust is something that is earned not just gave out. If I feel uneasy about something my husband does I won't think twice about checking up on him. Its been 3 years now and we are finally getting our life back together, but the trust still isn't back to 100% but were working on it. Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

For the best answers, search on this site https://smarturl.im/aD13m

You take that stuff to her NOW. She needs to know that she cant trust ANY of them! Did you confront her mother-in-law??? Your sister is going to be devestated if she thinks she cant trust you either....Go NOW.....RUN..Dont Walk. Take Care,hun. God Bless you and your sister.

Answer 7

After 20 years of marriage, a man can easily get infatuated with a young pretty girl who flatters his ego. But the point is he is still with you and that must mean something.

As you have already talked with him and he gave you an assurance it is over, give him the benefit of the doubt and do not refer to it again. But if the affair starts again, that revives the previous wrong and you better leave him. That is my advice.

Answer 8

Ask if they want to have a 3some. Get involved and have fun with it. You
can even invite her husband if he's game

Answer 9

Leave and don't look back! 20 years of marriage is NO REASON to stay with someone who would do something like that. If he won't get counseling for those 'emotions' he can't control, then you can't trust him. You shouldn't have to disconnect your internet service because he can't keep his hand off his.....

By the way this is something that HE did, period. Not something that he did 'to you'. Don't be a victim. You shouldn't have to spend your life being paranoid and checking up on his emails and phone log. That's NUTS! Sounds like you'd like to blame yourself for not being thin and beautiful, and I really hope that's not the case. Pretty is as pretty does. The only thing that makes this an episode of Springer is that you are still with him.

I say, "Sister, Get your Gun!"

Answer 10

Find you another man! Nope don't stay! God knows and don't feel bad. That's just nasty for them to do that. Maybe you can find a man at church that you get along with.. And don't do anything with him! Your Hubby!
you need to get mad instead of going to counseling. Your human and humans get angry I'd have him so messed up he wouldn't know what too do. Bless your heart. That would be a bad thing to find out!
I'm sorry!
☺