I have been selfish, but only because she's so selfish with me in the bed. I'm trying to improve in every area other than sex, so that I can have a better intimacy with my wife. Example, treating her like a queen, telling her how I feel, etc. Is there any possibility that if she sees me in a new light as a changed man. She'll stop denying me so much romance and the things she'll do for me as far as romance goes?
2006-06-29 13:31:50 · 8 answers · asked by Shawn J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
7 Habits for Highly Effective People..........read it. I use this in answers alot coz it's a good answer.
stop being selfish in bed, but also communicate with her about her selfishness. and if it's romance and not sexual favors she's denying, she may just not like you. if it's a particular act, she may just not like doing that. have the conversation about your needs (clothes on) in a comfortable environment. you may have to have it more than once. build the trust. treat her like a queen if that's how you feel, not because you want something from her. she can probably tell and resents it.
2006-06-29 13:36:35 · answer #1 · answered by Ananke402 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember you have probably been asking for this intimacy for a long time now? Probably the only one who initiates it. Your wife also knows that every thing you are doing for her, is because you are waiting for a sexual reaction! In other words even though I'm sure you truly love your wife, she knows that with every action you take there is one thing you want in return.
I know how our minds work. So just try what I say, and I'm sure you will see a reaction. Be yourself from now on, don't try to butter her up all of the time. If you do something for her, don't make any little comment (even if j/k) that you better get something tonight ect. Also, rub her shoulders once in a while or just give her a hug and a peck on the lips. Walk away and literally expect nothing. If she says something like," oh I know what you want." or " no I don't want to right now. " Then just reply telling her no I don't want to either right now. After sticking to that for a while, she will start initiating things and really wanting to be with you. You can't be so needy about that stuff, it's a turn off to us. Play a little hard to get sometimes, it keeps us interested and turned on. Good luck...:)
2006-06-29 21:17:56 · answer #2 · answered by Emily :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a woman I can tell you that a relationship is not about the sex.It is not the same as it is for you. A woman wants to have a connection with the person that she loves. She has to be sure that the reason you are being nice to her is not sexual, but because you love her for who she is and not how well se put out. Take her for a walk and hold her hand in public . Do all that romantic**** without any expectations of getting lucky . And you will get lucky. Plus you will get a better bond with the woman you love.
2006-06-29 20:43:40 · answer #3 · answered by nanner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's always more to the story, whereby if we knew it it would completely change the perception of what's going on in your marriage. Somehow, between the lines, your message conveys a larger negligence on your part and over a long period of time, that is being transferred to your wife as the unreasonable one. At least that's what it seems.
2006-06-29 20:40:13 · answer #4 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible for your wife to love with no limits. But, this means that you have to love her with no limits as well. You have to love her with no limits. Let's selfishness go completely.
2006-06-29 20:38:37 · answer #5 · answered by african.violet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE NOT SELFISH!! You are her man and she is your woman.....she needs to realize what she has in front of her and snap outta it!!
2006-06-29 20:35:26 · answer #6 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hypnosis and beer.
2006-06-29 20:35:29 · answer #7 · answered by pickle head 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes keep trying and she will come around
2006-06-29 20:40:41 · answer #8 · answered by cookiedjnpc11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋