How should I tell a man I am not interested?

Question

I have been getting attention from a man at my job that I do not want or like. He is very inappropriate and is always mentioning a part of my body. I DO NOT flirt with him nor do I seek him out. He has mentioned my lips( by the way I do not wear lipstick) and other parts of my body. I also dress more than appropriate for the job( no tight pants or shirts). He says things like that I distract him and he is a jealous man! He always says it low so no one would hear and he has so far touched me on my arms in a jokingly manner. I really dislike it so much but I do not want to get him in trouble because I do not want it to get legal. I have told him that I do not want to be bothered and that I just want to do my job. I am planning to leave that job later on this year. Should I do anything about it or just avoid him at all cost? By the way hes my boss.

mom2babycloin, uhmmmm why are you so mad? Relax! I am not making it worse for anyone! You are not in my situation, it is not that easy. You do have some goo points but I am not an easy taget and if you knew me personally you would've NEVER made that comment! Thank you for answering my question, though, Sweetie.

Answer 1

Tell him that if he continues this behavior that it is sexuall harasment, and that it is illegal. That will usually stop the problem when he realizes that you are serious. If he touches you again tell him not to touch you that is also a form of sexual harasment. Even if you are planning on leaving that job, you should not have to put up with that type of behavior while you are there, be firm and stick to your guns. Good luck and take care.

Answer 2

Honey he's picking on you because you're an easy victim. This is like a beaten wife asking "how do I get my husband to stop hitting me without leaving him or calling the cops?"

What he's doing is against the law. Go into HR and file a sexual harassment complaint. Sometimes this doesn't "get legal" it simply entails his supervisor telling him that he's doing something inappropriate and if it doesn't stop there will be action against him.

It's women like you that make life worse for the rest of us. Not only do guys like this get the message that it's ok, but even if they know it's not ok they know they can get away with it. Be strong! Do something for the good of the sisterhood!

Just remember, if he DOES fire you, you can sue for BIG bucks, way more than you'd earn through the rest of the year. Companies settle this stuff easy and any lawyer with a "no fees till you win your case" policy will take you because it's so easy. Start jotting down what he does and when he does it. The company will settle without a fight, trust me.

Answer 3

I hate to inform because you don't want to go there, but you do have legal rights. He is your boss and is using his power to intimidate you in a sexual way. This is the reason why sexual harassment laws were put in the workplace. How can you avoid your boss? You report to him. You need to address this with your HR department if he does not adhere to your requests to leave you alone. At least get it on record in his file. You wouldn't want him to do this to you or someone else when you leave.

Answer 4

Darling, welcome to the wonderful world of sexual harrassment. What your boss is doing is illegal. The next time he does it, tell him that he is making you uncomfortable, and that he needs to stop doing it. If he continues, file a sexual harrassment suit. If he fires you, you can sue him for wrongful termination based on sexual harrassment. Or, you can just quit your job now. I would not let it go though, or it will get worse. Also, document everything he does with a time, date that it happened, and a brief description of what he does. Or, you can just go over his head and tell his boss what is going on. But you shouldn't let it go because you don't want to be bothered with it. This creep will just pick another girl after you are gone if he isn't stopped.

Answer 5

You've already tried to give him hints that you are not interested and he still doesn't get it or he just does not care. It might have to become a legal matter if he doesn't stop. He is making your work environment really uncomfortable and he is not allowed to do that. You might be leaving soon, but if you don't press charges he is never going to learn and will probably harass someone else because no one is willing to stand up to him.

Answer 6

Since he is your direct supervisor go to another supervisor on equal footing to him and ask him to speak about his inappropriate attentions. If you can keep it between the two of them it will likely stay quiet and trouble can be averted. If that does not work you may have no recourse than to make a formal complaint to your human resources department.

Answer 7

You need to tell your someone in your Human Resources department about his inappropriate behavior. Regardless of the fact that he's your boss, he doesn't have the right to touch you or say those things to you. The only way he's going to stop is if you say something, either to him, or his boss.

Answer 8

I'd start putting out my resume if I were you. You might annonomously call human resources and see what they recommend. Talking to a laywer about your boss' sexual harassment is also a good idea. Document everything. That way if you do have to take the jerk to court you have some proof.

Answer 9

Get it on tape, then It could be your company. You could always work for me, I would never treat you in such a inappropriate manner, but i would have to make you wear tight pants and shirts, that's the law.

Answer 10

If he does not listen to you when you ask him nicely, be blunt with him and tell him how you feel. If he doesn't agree with you, avoid him as you have already said that you would do. Another thing you may want to do is to talk to the one in charge, it's not worth the harassment.