Is it wrong to go against your boyfriend if he doesn't want you to play with yourself. I tried to stop but to me I feel the need to. Not often as I use to but at least twice a month I understand he wants to please me. However, he never does anything to stimilate the clitoious, yet, I go down on him but he doesn't do me. He doesn't understand that both areas of a women need to be filled. He makes it seem like he isnt good enough when really he needs to undertand, sex, doesn't do everything. I really don't know what to do? When I tell him the problem he is hurt and feel he isn't good enough, but yet not telling him, brings guilt to me. Please Help
2006-06-29 13:18:36 · 11 answers · asked by Help 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You don't need to feel guilty. He needs to get over his ego thinking he can tell you what you can do with or to your own body. If he cared about you as a lover, he'd appreciate you directing him in how to best please you. If you've tried to tell him and he's not listening, I'd suggest telling him that although you care for him, sex isn't doing it for you, and since he's not willing to do what it takes for YOU to have pleasure, that you'd just as soon not have sex with him.
That'll either end the relationship (and bad/unfullfilling sex is a deal breaker in my book) or he'll decide it's not so bad to try what you've asked him to try after all.
2006-06-29 13:27:04 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't believe you are "going against" your boyfriend at all. Being pleased is not a competition. If he feels the way he does, it's only because he lacks confidence and need reassurance, which you can offer. It takes communication and understanding but you definitely are not doing anything wrong .. try explaining to him the areas that he can improve on or even watch movies together if needed as examples. Obviously, he's very sensitive to this issue so whenever you give him tips on improvment, soften it by telling him the things that he does do to make him feel less offended or hurt. G'luck!!
2006-06-29 13:24:00 · answer #2 · answered by ems 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't have the right to tell you what to do, or not do, when you're by yourself and not with him. So do it when you want to, and either tell him it's none of his business, or if he's a jerk about it then don't tell him anything.
He also needs to learn how to please you. Rather than complaining about him doing it wrong, why don't you show him how to do it right? For example, try with him on his back and you astride him, have him use his thumb to rub your clitoris, let him know the way and speed you like it, and then be very appreciative and vocal about your enjoyment as soon as he gets it right. Try to be seductive about it and make a sexy game out of it rather than a teaching lesson.
Alternatively, have him have sex with you from behind, and you stroke your own clitoris. If he complains, tell him you can't help yourself, he turns you on so much you just have to, but you'd love it if he'd do it. then show him how to reach around and how to do it.
If you can find some good books on how to have sex, get one (preferably with pictures) and leave it lying around. When he picks it up, say you'd love to try some of the stuff in the book out with him. That way you're both learning.
2006-06-29 13:34:01 · answer #3 · answered by Roger D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not wrong. Do you think that he doesn't do it? If you aren't getting any pleasure, then twice a month isn't enough. Buy him a book and let him see what he needs to do. If he was my man, I would dump him because he is getting his and being selfish about you or tell him it WILL change. Unless he does, he is only going to have his hand to pleasure himself!
2006-06-29 13:26:11 · answer #4 · answered by brittme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a new boyfriend, or show him what works, sometimes it helps when you girls grab our hand and show us what you like. But don't stop masturbating, that is your right, no matter how he makes you feel about it. If he can't do the job, you should not feel bad about doing it yourself.
2006-06-29 13:21:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lets see try to tell him to go down on u it might feel u up where u might need to stop or try thinkin about somethin to get ur mind off of it
2006-06-29 13:22:19 · answer #6 · answered by denise b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong I feel like this if you told him how you felt about him not going down and he still doesn't do it girl please you or tell him you will not go down any-more?
2006-06-29 13:22:31 · answer #7 · answered by kat9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everything u just said, tell him and maybe all that could change...don't go against him, just talk to him about it. If its something u want to do, then tell him.
2006-06-29 13:22:00 · answer #8 · answered by Mickey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs some sex ed. buy him a book or watch "ask sue" with him. let him watch you, that's what a lot of guys like.
does he stop playing with himself just cause he's dating you?
i bet not.
2006-06-29 13:21:00 · answer #9 · answered by alter_tygo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD DO IT. SWEETHEART MOST BOYS OR MEN WILL NEVER GET YOU THERE!
2006-06-29 13:22:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋