My best friend is really interested in black and stats wearing it and I don't want her to be depressed and start doing bad things.. How can I help her? I know black is not bad but what if other things change?
2006-06-29 13:08:50 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Encourage her to get a job.
2006-06-29 13:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by Brian N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, to each their own. Your friend should be your friend no matter how they dress or act. You will see as you get older that everyone (including yourself) will change at some points. And it won't always be for the good. But that's how people learn. I bet that this phase will not last long. And if it does then so what. You were friends before she became goth. So chances are you will still continue to be friends no matter what. Or until you get to college and meet cooler people. Not all goth people suck. Most but not all. Anyway you can be straight edge and be goth. Not everyone who is goth cuts themselves or is depressed. They just look that way. Good Luck and don't worry. Your friend will be fine. If you really think that she needs help then you should tell her parents. They are the ones that are in a position to help her.
2006-06-30 06:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First: you can't "get" her to stop being goth. She's doing it because it makes her happy (even though you think it'll make her depressed), and who are you to make her unhappy? Besides, if she's like most of the goths (and non-goths) that I know, if you try to stop her, she'll just be more determined to keep doing it.
Second: dressing like a goth doesn't make you depressed or do bad things; people who are depressed or do bad things -- or just like the goth look -- often start dressing goth. Or punk. Or skater. Or swing era. Or any number of other styles that brand them as "outsiders". Clothes don't make you the person you are; they merely reflect the person that you think you are. If you think you're an outsider, you'll wear the garb that you think best reflects this.
Finally: one of the fun things about being a goth is that people seem to get angry when you wear the outfits, especially if you're wearing black velvet in the summertime. It's fascinating how much of a rise you can get out of a person just by wearing clothes that they feel are inappropriate. Most of the goths I've known over the years LOVED this, and often went out of their way to provoke these reactions (and to otherwise broadcast their "outsiderness").
In short: it's her life, it makes her happy, and you should stop worrying about how to change her. Let her be, or your disapproval will just play into her desires.
2006-06-29 13:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept your friend as who she is and wishes to be... it' not the clothes you wear that makes the person. Her expression is goth... others have different ways of expressing themselves. being depressed? start doing bad things? well it depends on the type of friends she is truly hanging around with not the goth style.
depressed? talk to her about what she feels not why she wares black. and if she needs counceling... HELP her and get to a professional in those matters
2006-06-29 14:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by gg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like i have said before, not all of us goths are depressed! I am a wife and mother of 2 and I am goth and I haven't been happier! I have loads of friends, my family doesn't care, and my mom sent me to a therapist awhile ago. He told her i am one of the happiest people he has met in years. You got a problem with goth, then you got a problem being insecure about yourself. Maybe you should try it.
2006-06-29 13:24:55 · answer #5 · answered by Black Widow Mollie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all goths are all depressed all the time. Don't worry about the black, or that stuff. It is her life, and let her live it any way she wants to live it.
2006-06-29 13:13:08 · answer #6 · answered by Pirate_Wench 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Knock some sense into her lol. If she doesn't wanna change u can't make her. Just be there 4 her and talk 2 her and/or her parents if she starts doing bad things.
2006-06-29 13:13:19 · answer #7 · answered by Dan T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Goth is not depressed people. Its a style and a type of music they like. Quit worrying and like her for her. If you can't do that then maybe you guys weren't meant to be friends. And that would be your fault. Its so wrong to judge.
2006-06-29 13:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by blondieinlove 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if she likes black it doesnt mean she's 'goth.' But if something does happen (cutting herself, not going out for fun...etc.) you have to tell her parents to talk to her. Or you can talk to her(you talking to her is better)
2006-06-29 13:12:17 · answer #9 · answered by Jammy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's extremely your buddy, you need to like her no rely how she clothing or what music she listens to. Are you afraid she'll be an outcast, or are you afraid which you would be an outcast via association?
2016-10-31 23:02:31 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun..you cannot change a person's sense of being. If they are who they are you should only support them and watch out for them and care for them. If you are trying to change them, then you aren't a very good friend.
2006-06-29 13:14:09 · answer #11 · answered by disfunkshunaldork 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋