Help! How can I orgasm?

Question

Ladies, I need help. My man and I are fighting constantly because he is upset that he can't make me orgasm. But to be honest, I don't think I ever have. I just bought a vibrator to see if it will help, but I'm not sure it is. What do I do and how can I orgasm? Does anyone else have a problem with this?

How does it feel and how will I know if I do orgasm?

Answer 1

Reaching your full orgasmic potential is not controlled by only one factor, though, or even a few factors. In fact, hundreds of variables affect the strength of your orgasms. Let's discuss some of them and see how tweaking them and applying them to your sex life can help optimize your orgasms.

Your mood:
Many steps to a mind-blowing orgasm begin before you even get to the bedroom. What kind of mood are you in? Are you in a sexy mood? Or are you angry, hurt, upset, and just not in the mood at all? If it's the later, then your mood isn't conducive to experiencing your orgasmic best. If you are angry, hurt, or upset, then communicate with your partner to resolve these issues, so you can get into your best orgasmic-producing mood. A sexy mood can help you optimize your orgasms.

What's on your mind:
Are you worried or concerned? Are you stressed, mentally exhausted, or tuned-out? Do you have pressing issues on your mind? If so, it's important to clear your mind of these troubles. Orgasms aren't just a physical sensation, you know - at least the best one's aren't. They are mentally pleasing and stimulating as well. So, free your mind and better orgasms will follow. Free your mind by learning to manage stress. Relaxation techniques, breathing exercises, physical exercise, and meditation are great ways to help you manage stress. This will not only benefit you outside the bedroom, but it will benefit you inside the bedroom, as well. Great orgasms favor the prepared mind. A stress-free mind can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your health:
Are you sick or feeling under the weather? Is you libido being hampered by you medication? Obviously, if you aren't feeling your best, you can't expect mind-blowing orgasms. If you feel your medications may be detracting from your sexual best, then talk it over with your doctor. Good health can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your physical energy:
Are you tired, fatigued, or physically exhausted? Your physical energy will have an impact on the intensity of your lovemaking. Higher levels of physical energy can help you optimize your orgasms.

Time of day:
Ok, you may be wondering what the time of day has to do with having great orgasms. A lot, when you think about it. Most people try making love at the end of the day when they are tired, exhausted, sore, or full from dinner. Making love earlier in the day will solve this physical exhaustion problem. Testosterone levels are also highest early in the morning, when we first wake up and they decline as the day progresses, so the saying, "The early bird gets the worm." may apply here. Talk to your partner and ask them when they are most "in the mood". Take advantage of this information by making yourself available for lovemaking at that time, instead of waiting until the end of the day when you are both most likely to be tired and not in the mood. Finding the most accommodating and opportune time for making love can help you optimize your orgasms.

How into your partner you are:
What kind of connection do you have with your partner? Do you get along well? Do they treat you well? Do you trust them? Do they turn you on? How is your relationship outside of the bedroom? In a committed relationship, if you want to improve your sex life and your orgasms, then work on improving the other 95% of your relationship first. Better sex and better orgasms will be a natural result of that effort. A great relationship with your partner can help you optimize your orgasms.

How in the moment you are:
Are you distracted? Is your mind wandering? Are you worried about the way you look naked? Those who are the least distracted experience more powerful and more consistent orgasms than those who are distracted. Being in the moment can help you optimize your orgasms.

The length of time since your last orgasm:
Experiment with the frequency of your orgasms. Try abstaining for a few days to let the erotic tension build between you and your partner. This could lead to some explosive sex. Often, the longer you wait between orgasms, the better they will be when you have them again. Waiting longer between orgasms can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your level of arousal:
Many people claim that the single most important factor for determining how powerful their orgasm will be is how turned on they are before engaging in sexual activity. Spend some serious time and energy on foreplay to build arousal prior to sex. During sexual activity, you can continue to build arousal, also. Here's how to do it with a technique called peaking. Tune in to you arousal level and monitor it on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being orgasm. As you reach each new level on your orgasmic scale, briefly stop and allow your arousal level to drop just a bit before continuing. By doing this, your arousal grows in a wave-like pattern, resulting in more intense orgasms. It also maximizes the release of endorphins in your body as you progress toward orgasm. Maximizing your level of arousal can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your physical expressions:
Get into it physically. Remaining passive during sexual activity may keep you from reaching your full orgasmic potential. Instead of remaining passive, when you get to the point where you feel an orgasm is right around the corner, then let yourself go and encourage your orgasm by getting active and thus pulling your orgasmic triggers: when you breathe, breathe heavily; when you start moaning, don't resist it - moan loudly; when you feel like thrusting your hips, really buck them; toss your head back; scream out in ecstasy; point your toes; grab your breasts; contort your face; clamp your eyes shut; flex your vaginal muscles. Help your body take over and shift into orgasmic bliss. Expressing yourself physically can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your verbal expressions:
Silence can really stifle an orgasm. If you don't allow your sound to flow freely through you along with your muscle contractions, blood flow, and heavy breathing, you cut it off and your orgasm can be less intense as a result. So, don't be afraid to let go and sound off. This can not only help you have stronger orgasms, but it can also help your partner have stronger ones, as nothing sounds sweeter to them than the moans, groans, and screams of you in the throes of passion. Expressing yourself verbally can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your breathing:
Altering your regular breathing pattern can affect the strength of your orgasms. Have you ever tried concentrating on your breathing during sexual activity? Experiment with your breathing in the following ways:
Consciously exaggerate your breaths by making them longer, slower, and deeper than normal.
Try holding your breath for as long as possible at the point of orgasm.
Try increasing your heart rate by taking short, rapid breaths as you approach orgasm.
Altering your breathing can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your senses:
Experiment with your sensory inputs to enhance your orgasms.
Try using a blindfold to heighten your remaining senses.
Close your eyes and you will have more of an individual experience. Keep them open and you will have more of a shared experience.
At the point of orgasm, try looking deep into the eyes of your partner.
Chocolate contains a natural feel-good chemical that can make your orgasms even sweeter, so rub some chocolate on your lover and then lick it off.
Increasing your sensory inputs can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your cycle:
Right before ovulation and right around the time of menstruation are great times to engage in sexual activity, if she is willing. The high levels of progesterone in her body may really intensify her orgasms. Orgasms have also been known to help suppress menstrual cramps in some ladies. Knowing your cycle and taking advantage of it can help you optimize your orgasms.
Your knowledge of your body and your pleasure zones:
Everyone's pleasure map is different, so take some time to explore your body to find your personal hot spots. What makes you tick, sexually? Learn to tune in to your sexYOUality. You have to learn about your own sexual response, what makes you feel good, and what leads you to orgasm. Becoming intimate with your body and your personal pleasure zones can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your teasing:
Learning and employing the art of teasing builds anticipation, desire, and erotic tension. You can do this alone or with a partner.
Get close to orgasm several times before you have one. When you finally do have one, it will be more powerful.
Try prolonging your pleasure by hovering right around the brink of orgasm for as long as possible before you give in.
If you are easily orgasmic and with an experienced partner that knows you well, then try resisting your orgasm with them. You can't do anything physically to resist your orgasm. Just try to resist it in your mind as your partner tries to make you ***. Tell them, "I'm not going to ***. There's nothing you can do to me to make me." Then they answer with, "Oh yes I can. Just wait and see. I'm going to make you explode. Resistance is futile!" Make a game out of it.
Learning and employing the art of teasing can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your level of communication with your partner:
Good communication - both verbal and non-verbal - is a necessity during any sexual activity with a partner. Discuss your sexual likes and dislikes. Discuss your fantasies. Discuss your needs, wants, expectations, and desires. Guide your partner during your lovemaking. Tell them what feels great and what doesn't. Open, honest communication with your partner can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your PC muscle tone:
Exercising your PC muscles is a great way to improve your orgasms. You PC muscles are the ones that you clench to stop the flow of urination. Strong PC muscles will give you more control over your orgasms and make them stronger.

Start by squeezing your PC muscles. Hold them for 2 seconds and then release. Repeat 20 times, three times a day to start with.

Right at the point of orgasm - at the point of no return (when orgasm is inevitable), clench your PC muscles and hold them as tight as you can for as long as you can. I call this the floodgate technique because you are consciously holding back your orgasm as it grows strong. When you can't hold it any longer, it will explode, like water crashing through a floodgate, and you'll have a very strong orgasm. You may not be able to hold it very long at first, but with some practice, you'll be able to hold it for longer.

Developing strong PC muscles can help you optimize your orgasms.
Your physical conditioning:
Vigorous physical exercise increase blood flow and promotes aerobic conditioning, which helps prepare the body for terrific orgasms. Besides, studies have proven that those people who exercise 3 or more times a week are more in tune with their bodies and more likely to be more sexually responsive.

Work out or exercise for an hour prior to lovemaking to get your blood flowing and help prepare your body for a great orgasm.
Good physical conditioning can help you optimize your orgasms.
Your fantasizing:
Fantasize before and during sexual activity to get your brain geared up for great orgasms. Use your imagination to recreate your wildest fantasy in your head. Or relive the best sex you ever had. Fantasizing can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your ability to relax and let go:
Great orgasms have as much to do with our minds as they do our bodies. Don't be afraid to relax and let go with your partner. Often, this becomes easier to do with some time, once trust is built in the relationship. Also cut out any distractions that may interfere with your sexual episode. This includes things like the phone, the kids, the pet, etc… The more you can relax and let go, the more your mind can focus on pleasure. Your ability to relax and let go can help you optimize your orgasms.

The type and location of the stimulation you are getting:
If you know your body well, then direct your partner so they can stimulate your hot spots. Try stimulating more than one area simultaneously. How many hotspots can you stimulate at the same time? Try it and see. Use vibrators to help you. The combined effects of your various hot spots being stimulated at the same time will be exponentially greater than the effects of each area when stimulated individually. Stimulating multiple hot zones simultaneously can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your desire to experiment and try something new:
I believe many people are so terrified of failing in bed that they are afraid to take any risks or do anything to make themselves vulnerable, which is a failure in itself. Forget about the same old routine. Learn to open yourselves up. Learn to take risks. Be secure in your sexuality. Redefine your idea of what sex is. Learn some new techniques. Experiment with toys. Try out some new positions. There is no growth without risk. You may be surprised to see how much better your orgasms can be just by trying something new and fresh, or even trying something old and familiar in a new location. Experimenting and trying something new can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your muscle tension:
Varying your muscle tension may prove very pleasurable during orgasms. Try the following:
Lie flat on your back. When you reach the point of no return and start your orgasm, raise your upper body up and hold it there, as if doing a stomach crunch. Only raise your body half way up - to around a 45 degree angle and hold it there throughout the entire orgasm, if you can. The tightened muscles may improve your orgasm. You can do this alone, or with a partner.
If your regular reaction to orgasm is all-over body tension, then for something different, try letting your whole body relax and be like jello. Focus on tightening no muscles at all. This will take some concentration, but you may experience your orgasm in a whole new way.
Press on your abdomen during your orgasm. This can heighten the effect in some people, as well.

For another great way to apply some muscle tension during masturbation, try sitting naked on the floor in a narrow hallway. Be sure the walls are very sturdy. Prop both of your feet against one wall, while your back is against the opposing wall. Begin to masturbate using your favorite technique. As you approach orgasm, push very firmly with your feet so you are held in a tensed position between the two walls during your orgasm. Hold this tensed position during your orgasm. This technique will help you release a lot of tension and may help heighten your orgasm.
Experimenting with muscle tension can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your pace:
Try changing the pace of your lovemaking. Moving much slower than usual will make you hyper-aware of every bit of stimulation you are receiving. You can do this during intercourse or during masturbation. Take 10 seconds to do what you'd normally do in 2 seconds.

Imagine a scale from 1-10 where 1 is really slow and 10 is really fast. Now think about the speed you normally use with your tongue/fingers/vib**/dil**/pen... while having sex. Let's say your normal speed is a 6. Now, try slowing down to a 2. It may drive you wild! Try out the opposite, also. If your normal speed is a 6, try a 9 or a 10.

Varying the pace of your lovemaking can help you optimize your orgasms.

Blood flow:
Increased blood flow makes for some great orgasms. Try the following:
Try standing on your head, up against a wall while your partner gives you oral sex. The blood rush to your head may really intensify your experience. WARNING: Don't do this for long periods of time.

While making love or masturbating, try hanging just your head off the edge of the bed. This is another way to get the blood rush to you head. WARNING: Don't let your head flop around, though, as that could cause neck injury. Don't do this for long periods of time.

Here's another way to increase blood flow to the genitals while masturbating. Lie on your back on the floor, facing a wall. Place your butt close to the wall, bending yourself into an "L" shape, with your legs extended, going straight up the wall. Ladies, you can insert a vib*** or dil** into your vagina or anus - the wall will hold it in place. Now, begin to masturbate using your favorite method. Some experts believe the legs up position will enhance your orgasm because it increases blood flow to the genitals.

Experimenting with increased blood flow can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your bedding:
Factor in the firmness of your mattress or the surface you will be making love on. During intercourse, the firmness of the surface you make love on can play a big role in the stimulation you receive. If you normally make love on the bed, try making love on the floor, instead. Notice the difference in the way you are able to move. In the missionary position, for instance, the floor doesn't have any give to it like the bed does, so she may feel more of the sensations you are trying to deliver to her. Trying out surfaces with different firmness can help you optimize your orgasms.

Where you are:
Where you are when you make love plays a big role in your orgasmic experience. Try making love in new locations. Some locations will be more exciting for you than others. Find out which ones work best. Playing around with new and exciting lovemaking locations can help you optimize your orgasms.

How much time you have:
Are you in a hurry? Hurried lovemaking isn't normally conducive to having great orgasms. The best orgasms take time. On the other hand, having sex when the inlaws are due for a visit in the next 5 minutes can also be fun and exciting, as that kind of sex is usually raw and wild, as you don't have time for a lot of preliminaries. Making love when you have lots of time, or sometimes making love when you have very little time can help you optimize your orgasms.

Who else is around:
Are the kids awake in the room next door? Are her parents in the guest room across the hall? Are your best friends in the tent next to yours? If there are people nearby when you make love, it can really take away from the experience for some people, as you hold back and try not to be noisy. For other people, you may find the situation exciting and your orgasms may be enhanced, trying to be as quiet as possible. Both making love when you have a lot of privacy and making love when you don't can help you optimize your orgasm.

How comfortable you are:
Your level of comfort affects the quality of your orgasms. Not just your physical comfort, but also your comfort level with yourself, with being naked, and with being sexual. Making yourself as comfortable as possible can help you optimize your orgasm.

Your diet:
What you eat and drink can affect your sex life and your orgasms. When you eat a balanced diet, your libido functions better. Consider the following:

Some experts advise eating a lot of food that contains vitamin B, such as vegetables, eggs, nuts, brown rice, and fruit. They also advise eating a lot of food that contains zinc, such as fish, liver, mushrooms, red meat, and grains. These experts claim that food with vitamin B and zinc will lead to better orgasms.

Sex researcher, Dr. Estelle Lauder found that many women experience extra powerful orgasms resulting from having a full bladder during sexual activity, so try drinking a lot of water and skipping the trip to the bathroom before sex.

Avoid alcohol. It may loosen you up for sexual activity, but it also dulls the nervous system and may not be conducive to having great orgasms - or any orgasm at all, for that matter. A half glass of red wine, however, will raise your level of testosterone and may make your orgasms more intense.

Try drinking your coffee with extra sugar. Sugar and caffeine both increase your heart rate and give you a surge of energy that may make you more responsive and help you have stronger orgasms.

Some experts claim that Ginseng can help improve your orgasms, as well. Choose your ginseng carefully, though. Some brands actually contain very little ginseng.

Avoid heavy meals before sexual activity. They can hold you back in your quest for great orgasms.
Eating a balanced diet and watching what you eat can help you optimize your orgasm.
Your pre-orgasmic buildup:
Your pre-orgasmic buildup has a lot to do with how you will experience your orgasms. This includes mental buildup as well as physical buildup, as orgasms aren't just a physical sensation - at least the best ones aren't. Sure, sometimes nice, effortless, powerful orgasms do happen, but for most of us (especially the ladies), a good build-up is necessary. Building up erotic tension can help you optimize your orgasms.

The setting:
Atmosphere matters, so take the time to delight your senses. Light some candles, put on some soft music, spray some fragrance, etc… A perfect setting helps you leave behind the troubles of the world while you indulge in your romantic rendezvous, which in turns help you have better, more powerful orgasms. Attention to detail when it comes to your sexual setting can help you optimize your orgasms.

Your accessories:
If you want to experience longer, more powerful orgasms and you've never used a vib****, then you don't know what you are missing. Many women claim extraordinary orgasms from the use of a vib****. Vib**** give the strong, steady, rhythmic stimulation that brings about incredible orgasms. Using a vib**** on (or near) your clitoris can help you optimize your orgasms

Answer 2

I have masturbated many a time and not gotten the orgasm. This is how to do it:
1. Get in whatever position you find comfortable for masturbating. Open your legs wide. Concentrate on how the feeling of the orgasm will be. The more you do this, the more you're vagina will make you feel the temptation and longingto touch yourself. Concentrate on this for longer than you want so you will get maximum orgasm once you get to the next step:
2. Masturbate gently. Doing it hard always makes me feel sore and raw. Pushing in with both hands fingers always makes me have the orgasm. No other way works for me.
3. When you feel that you've done enough, stop masturbating. Now you can let go of your hands or cup them around your vagina. You will feel that sensation that you are looking for.

Answer 3

To make a girl orgasm, finger the G spot furiously (or use a G spot toy), masturbate the clit fast at the same time (like rub a powerful vibrator body massager on your clit at the same time). Maybe have an object in her a-nus (a turn on by women). You have to be horn*y in order for the orgasm to work, so you may want to incorporate goat weed or any good aphrodisiac (a sexual libido enhancer, NOT Viagra or "size pills") . The G-spot is on the top inside of the vagina. Curve your fingers up when fing*ring. For a libido enhancer, try http://www.directvideoanddvd.com/listcategory_toys.asp. Maybe pop in a porno. Girls love when you rub the inside of her thigh(s) while you do this. [for the guys to do]

Answer 4

My suggestion to you would be to try a Rabbit (the vibrator). It stimulates your clit and g spot at the same time, and I do have trouble achieving orgasm sometimes, but never with the rabbit. Positions that may help you orgasm would be doggystyle or being on top. If he eats you out that may help too.

Answer 5

MOST WOMEN DO NT HAVE ORGASMS FROM INTERCOURSE, HOPEFULLY YOUR MAN KNOWS HOW TO PERFORM ORAL SEX WELL AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE CLITORIS,GET A PORN MOVIE WITH ONLY WOMEN DOING EACH OTHER AND BOTH OF YOU SHOULD WATCH IT TOGETHER AND HE CAN DO WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO EACH OTHER TO YOU AND BELIEVE ME WHEN YOU HAVE THAT ORGASM YOU WILL KNOW,YOU WILL FEEL MOST OF IT IN YOUR VAGINA AND CLITORIS,IT WILL BE OVERWHELMING AND SO WONDERFUL FEELING..IF YOUR BOYFRIEND IS BEING TO RUFF THAT COULD BE A PROBLEM ALSO YOU DO NT WANT RUFF DOWN THERE UNLESS TH ATS WHAT YOU LIKE ,BUT AT FIRST JUST FOLLOW THE GIRLS IN THE PORN MOVIE. GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

Stress can keep you from letting goes and having an orgasm. Id play privately by yourself to see if you can get yourself off first, then show him how you did it.

Answer 7

there is actually a statistic out there that 60% of women cannot orgasm threw normal vaginal sex... tell your husband to either go down on you or use his fingers more during sex.. but he probably needs to learn good techniques for this ... there are lots of books and videos out there to help him

Answer 8

most women only orgasm through clitoris stimulation, try a vibrator on your clitoris while having sex.

Answer 9

just try different shaped objects in Ur vagina

Answer 10

sex toys work better than men

Answer 11

when you answerd my ? i thought that it was me, but now i see that it is you ha ha ha