My exgirlfriend who I am still friends with, is not eating. She hasn't eaten in about four days, and it started when I broke up with her. Is there anything me, her friends, or her family can do to help her. She's talked to everybody but still continues. She did this last summer for a little bit too although never for more than 3 days. She won't listen to anyone about eating and says she is not hungry. I'm very worried, please help.
2006-06-29 11:50:57 · 17 answers · asked by Firehawk4 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Relax! Many people lose their appetite after something traumatic happens.Focusing on it will just put additional pressure on her she doesn't need Also I'd strongly suggest you make yourself scarce. You can't be friends with some one you just dealt a devastating emotional blow.Right now YOU are the problem for her. If you really mean you don't want a romatic relationship with her get out of her life and let her get back on her feet. Maybe months, or more likely years, down the line you might be able to be friends. If on the other hand you really do want to continue seeing her, make up your mind, make a commitment or leave. Your hanging around is equivelent to torturing her,like dripping some water on the tongue of someone who is dying of thirst.Let her family and friends support her through this. She may also see you hanging around and expressing concern as a sign that you still love her. If her not eating keeps you around she may truly develop a health threatening eating disorder that she can't control.In short,if you really do still care for her in any way be mature enough to make a clean break-NO CONTACT AT ALL.Breakups are always hard but it's better done cleanly so the other person can accept that it's real and start to heal.Remember- right now You are not her friend, you are the one who broke her heart.
2006-06-29 17:10:50 · answer #1 · answered by whnp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This might be her way or either coping, or seeking attention. If she is letting everyone know that she's not eating or is making a fuss about not eating whenever someone offers her food, it is for attention. If she has been quiet about this, and only a couple people have noticed it, then this is her way of coping with the pain of losing you.
If it's for attention - do nothing and instruct others to ignore the behavior as well. Without the attention, she will start eating again on her own.
If she's using it to cope with the pain of the breakup - Get her alone where you won't be interrupted for a very, very long time. Sit down with her and a ton of food. If you can meet her at her place and bring the food there, even better, because she won't be able to just get up and leave, and I doubt that she's going to kick you out. DO NOT LEAVE without her eating, just refuse. Let her know that this kind of behavior scares you and makes you think that a relationship with her might never have worked anyway. Letting her know that starving herself is a turn-off to you might help get her to eat something. Also let her talk, but definitely get her to eat. Even if it means bribing her with something like, "For every piece of food you finish, I will answer a question you've been worried about asking me". You might be surprised by how many questions she has wanted to ask you. After all, if there weren't still unresolved issues, she'd be eating and behaving normally. DO NOT PRAISE HER FOR EATING. If she really is using the starvation as a coping mechanism, then drawing attention to her beginning to eat could make her go back into her shell and not want to eat anymore. Just continue the conversation as normal, and make sure you eat as well so that she's not feeling confronted or put on the spot. If you can, set the tone by being the first to eat, so that she doesn't feel like you're sitting, just waiting for her.
2006-06-29 19:00:37 · answer #2 · answered by fruitnroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope your friend is taking on liquids. If not, she may need to go to the hospital for IV fluids. This seems to be a chronic habit with her with being upset and then stopping eating. She may not be able to control this. Her family/loved ones-may not be the same people-should be kind, but get her to a health care setting for help. She could get really sick.
2006-06-29 18:57:17 · answer #3 · answered by Bettyboophume 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she's just trying to use it to scare you into a relationship with her again, to make you feel guilty. Childish!
If I was you I'd make it clear to her that there is nothing between us so that she doesn't hope for something there isn't.
But if you still care for her like it sounds that you do, just keep dating her & stop fooling around!
It takes about 40 days to die without food, so she's got long ways to go! Don't worry.
2006-06-29 18:58:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is depressed. It may take her a while to get over a broken heart. If she isn't acting broken-hearted because you guys brokeup then maybe it's a ploy for attention to try and win you back. No appetite is a very common symptom of depression.
2006-06-29 18:55:16 · answer #5 · answered by shirina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok listen dude rite now u cant do anything and u gotta understand dat when a girl goes through a break-up it hurts alot and we need time to heal so if she doesnt want to eat dont force her cause its only gonna hurt her more and yeah u mite be worried but dats her and u cant try to help her if she dont want ur help so just be patient she'll eat again
2006-06-29 18:54:40 · answer #6 · answered by *~~Tay Tay~~* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, she's probably eating a little something when no one is around.. Bring her cookie dough, quart of ice cream and chocolate oh and a movie.. She's a female!! LMAO these solve everything and makes any woman feel better!!
2006-06-29 18:53:51 · answer #7 · answered by onfire921 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depression causes loss of appetite. when my boyfriend went away for a week and I couldn't even TALK to him.. i was so depressed I didn't eat anything for about 6 days. she needs something to make her happy in order for her to be hungry again. don't think she's lying if she says she's not hungry.. i wasn't hungry either.. just sad.
2006-06-29 18:53:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a natural reaction when depressed.
As much as you care, you may be hurting her just by being around. Sometimes people need a little time to be friends again.
2006-07-01 12:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by chatxleau 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The more people bother her about eating, the less likely she will be to do it. It's kind of like an attention/rebellion thing. Trust me, I have done it and my family kept bothering me about when I was going to eat, so I just didn't.
2006-06-29 19:04:02 · answer #10 · answered by Kristina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋