People tell me to wait until I am much older to have a baby, but I want one soon?

Question

I got married at 21, and I am 23 now, I want to have a baby in the next two years. People told me to wait until I was older to get married, but I found the man I wanted to marry at 18 and I didn't see the point in waiting when I knew what I wanted.

People say to wait until I am older to have a baby, but its not for me. I want to experience everything in life now. I don't know how long I will be on this earth, or what will happen in 5 years. So why take the chance when I know what I want?

What if I wait and I have a hard time concieving, or what if I get sick and I cannot have children?

I have traveled, I have paid my way thru college, I have partied, I have bought a house and its nearly paid off, I have done everything I have wanted but have a baby.

I think I am more mature than most 30 year olds, why won't people give me a break? I have accomplished more in 23 years than a lot of people have.

That's ridiculous. I am immature because I am annoyed that people think they can tell me when to have children? I will have a baby when I want regardless of what people say, I just need to know how to deal with people who like to throw their two worthless cents in.

For those who asked about my husband: he wants to get pregnant next year when the house is paid off.

I don't think some people actually read my entire post. My husband and I are in AGREEMENT about having a child. We are going to start trying next year. My husband is ready for a baby and has wanted one for the past year but we are waiting until our mortgage is paid off so we have $2k every month for a child.

Answer 1

you are old enough, just be sure that you are ready mentally and finacially

Answer 2

May be they know something that you don't know about your marriage.

If you are ready to give up all your freedom and all your personal momments with your husband and start putting everything before yourself for alot of years then you are ready to have a baby. I have to also tell you that babies change a lot between a man and a women in a marriage. Husband can feel really left out too. Your body turns to flab and your hair looses its luster your complexion goes through puberity again your breast drain and you can gain alot of weight.

Just make sure that your husband is in agreement on it. If one wants baby and the other is not quite sure then don't have one because your marriage will fall apart. This is something that you can't take back and say it doesn't fit any more.

You do sound like you have your life together but there is a reason why everyone you are talking to is telling you to wait. For me that is worth waiting on.

Also do you have a good support system. Like family because you are going to need them when you have a child... Having the baby is the easy part...raising one is the hardest thing you will ever do.

Also you are using alot of (I)'s in your statement and it should be saying (WE). Meaning your husband and you both... If you want to destroy your relationship with your husband and he is not ready for a child then go ahead and have a baby... That is exactly what will happen...

Now if YOU and HIM are in agreement and you both know what is at stake here and if you feel that the good of having a baby out weighs the bad then go ahead and have a baby...

But it sounds like you are used to getting what ever (YOU) want.. which could get you exactly what you don't want (A DIVORCE)

Answer 3

Ok, then, here's the deal- you have a kid and that is IT for putting yours or your husbands desires first. You have to ALWAYS do whats best for your child.

Foget "sponteneity" no more "spur of the moment" romantic get-a-ways. A child needs structure and ROUTINE.

So, if you and your husband BOTH feel that you are ready to completely focus on a childs best interests for the next 20 years then go ahead- your kid should be moving out when you're 42 or so.

Are you SURE you've focused on your RELATIONSHIP long enough? Another 3 or 4 years of romantic time together might help you in the long run- you won't get another chance for 20 years....think about it, kid. Good luck, too

Answer 4

If you have done all of the things you say you have done then why in the world do you care what someone else thinks? I got married at 18 but had my first child at 27...by choice. We had a lot of people pressuring us to have one sooner. If you feel the time is right for you, then do it. If you want one just because the people around you are telling you to wait then that isn't a good reason. I hate being told I can't do something but a child is a lifetime committment. When you are ready you will know and do it without the blessing of those around you. They will always have a reason why you should wait.

Answer 5

I'm 23 and my son is 2. Don't listen to people who tell you to wait. As long as you feel ready (which believe me, you never are ready even when you think you are, its too new and different to be prepared for.) If you wait too long its harder to lose the baby fat, keep up with your kids, get them out of the house by the time you retire, and relate to them. If you have them too young, you might miss out, but it doesn't sound like that is your problem. Have a baby whenever you and your husband feel you can support each other and the child. You don't know anything else about what you need to be prepared for until after you have the baby.

Answer 6

I commend you for all your accomplishments at such a young age. You are correct that you have done more than a lot of 30 year olds. Unfortunately, you will never make everyone happy. No matter the circumstances you can wait too long and people would say "why did you wait so long" you can do it "too early" and people will say "why so early." As long as you and your husband are in agreement you yourself KNOW that you are ready. You live your life, you are the one in it and making your life choices. It may get annoying sometimes, but just take it all with a grain of salt and to each his own. God Bless and continue to prosper you and your soon to be bigger family.

Answer 7

Well, if you feel like you have accomplished everything, its your life.

But sometimes when you thin kyou are ready, you really aren't. I believe being a mother is harder than being in a marriage so you cannot compare the two.

When you become a mother, you miss out on all the smal things that you didn't think matter so much. No more sleeping past 7 am, whenever you go, that baby goes, you can just get up and go anymore; you have to prepare bottles, get the baby dress, pack a baby bag... its's so much.

But if you feel you are ready just think it over even more. What does your husband think?

Answer 8

Don't worry about what everyone says. You sound like your head is on straight.

You have been with the same guy for years now...you know each other you know how you are going to raise kids. These everyones you are talking about I assume is family. I promise they will change their tune once you say "we are having a baby"

My story kinda similiar I found my hubby at 20 he was 19 we eloped after 3 months. We waited 5 years to have kids. Even at 25 my mother said I was to young (she had me at 20) but the second I said I was pregnant she couldn't have been happier!!!
11 years and two kids later we are still together and would not change a thing.

You sound very responsible and like you said are more mature than most ppl I know my age....so go ahead as long as hubby is ready then who cares what the rest of the world thinks. It's your guys choice not theirs!

Answer 9

Go for it. Girls have babies at 12 and have no problem with it. You are in a better position now to start raising a family than most of the people in the world. You are married and that is much better than most anyone I know. You should enjoy life and part of that is having children with the man you love.

As for not being on this earth, you should look forward to being around for at least 80 years and enjoying your great grandchildren.
That would be awesome.

Good luck with your family and I hope this helps.

Answer 10

this is totally your decision and your husbands. why do you care what other people think or say? If you feel mentally, financially and emotionally ready, then go for it. 23 is not too young.

Just know that having a baby really does change your life completely. But trust me, a child will bring more joy to your life than you can even imagine.

Answer 11

You are 23 years old and you sound like you have everything in order why would you need to wait! I think you should go for it, I had my first baby at 20 and my second at 27. Your current situation is IDEAL for starting a family
It sounds like you will be a great mom good luck