my boyfriend dont wanna get married until we're about 30?

Question

we're both 18 right now and about to have a child together and unlike some ppl where not gonna get married just becsue of that because more than likely it wont work. he actually said 28 but that seems so far away. is it that he's not ready to be commited or is it that he just thinks thats better than gettin married sooner

Answer 1

I think 30 is waaaaay off. But, give him sometime. He may be unsure and having a kid is too much pressure already to be thinking about marriage and all. You're both right. You shouldn't get married just because you both had a child together. Let time pass and see how you feel in a couple of years from now when you're both more mature.

Answer 2

You just entered into adulthood and already you are doing adult things like having a baby and thinking about marriage. Whether you ever marry or not you will be linked for life because of the child. You are both very young and I think 18 is too young to marry or have children but since a baby is on the way you have to both be responsible and deal with this human being that will be completely dependent on you both. If true love reigns your love will stand the test of time and you will both know when the time is right for marriage. Right now you must find your foothold in the adult world and establish what your life will be.

Answer 3

I was in the same position when i was 18. My first child was already one month old. I got married when I was 18 and to be truthfully honest with you I think it was a big mistake. I was ready to be committed but he wasn't even though he said he was. I think that you need to remember women mature faster then men. When you are at home with your child is he going to be at home with you or is he going to be running around and drinking and parting? You also need to understand that a marriage and a new baby is a lot to deal with at one time and you both have to give 100% but wait then you are going to have the baby and he/she is going to take up about 95% of your time so that leaves 5% for you and your needs and his needs plus what you and your boyfriend are going to have to do to keep the relationship healthy and let it flourish. If I were put in the situation again and i know now what i didn't know then, I would put any plans with marriage on hold and get adjusted to being a mother and also it will give you time to see if this man is a good father and going to be a good husband to you now and in the future.

Answer 4

you probably should have done the marriage thing before you did the having a child thing. but its too late for that now. he is saying he doesn't want to get married and thats that. 30 is forever from 18 and you will both change so much between now and then you won't even recognize the 18 year old version of yourself. unfortunately you are going to drag a child through it all, i'd quit worrying about him so much and start worrying about how you are going to be a good parent, how are you going to support him or her in a manner that gives the child a chance at a better future than you are making for yourself, you know they need to eat every single day and have a safe place to sleep every single night, for the rest of your life that is your job, seeing as how you have all that ahead of you the bf should be last on your list of things to think about, you better get busy!

Answer 5

I think it could be both. Both of you are eighteen, still have years between then and till the age of twentyeight. Don't know what going to happen in the relationship between that time period. There are things, that he may want to do before settling down. Or just thinking of marriage could freak him out.
Just as long the relationship is going great now. There seem no rush to get hitch, and hurry for the white picket fence dream. Just give him time, make sure ya'll get some free space once in a while, let each other know you love him/her.

Answer 6

Oh my goodness, 18 and having a baby? Focus ALL of your attention on yourself, while your baby is still in the tummy. Once your baby is born, you will have NO time to worry about whether or not he wants to get married. Your just a baby, and not only do you have your whole life ahead of you, your bringing another one into the world that has it's whole life ahead of them. Do your best to raise your child with unconditional love, and good choices. God will take care of finding the right man for you when you are ready! Good luck.

Answer 7

i actually think this is good... bein married at 30 would be better because you guys would reach a certain level of maturity that is far higher than the age of 18... you guys have so much to live for... certain dreams that u wanna achieve... dont let this baby be a hindrance to this dream... you can still probably live together or sumthin... but marriage is a very special agreement that you guys have to think hard about.

Answer 8

DON'T DO IT YET, most young relationships tend to get divorce within 5 years of being together, wait and if you are both together by the age of 28 then you know you both are meant for one another.

You are already having his child and are still together what difference does it make.

Answer 9

he is probably worried about the whole deal because he is so young.
He knows it takes a lot of responsibility to have a wife and child.
Easier to just pay child support for all those years I guess. He actually should plan on marrying you a lot sooner becasue of his child.

Answer 10

No. He is a smart man. He knows that since you guys got kids, he need to get his financial things ready. 18 is freakin young to get married. He is thinkin about the future and when he is financially stable, he will marry you. Besides, 28 is the best age to get married. It is still young. Im 26 and I still think Im too young to get married.