Why does my husband act like such a girl?

Question

He is so over sensitive. When we fight, he doesn't talk to me for days. I feel punished. I have to beg for sex, and he lives in the mirror, it takes him an hour to get ready for work. Plus he is concieded, I think it's cute because personally I think he's cute, but he's not gods gift to women or anything. Let's just say, he's grown on me. I'm totally the guy in this relationship. What should I do to make him act more like a man?

Answer 1

Maybe some counseling could uncover some insecurity issues he has. I've dated emotional men, too... and everyone is different. not every guy is a macho man that gets ready for work by putting on deoderant and running out the door.

But you need to set ground rules for fighting. In my house, we aren't allowed to give each other the silent treatment and we aren't allowed to sleep in separate spaces - so it forces us to face the issue. We are alse very good at apologizing.

Answer 2

Wow. A man who's not manly. He's certainly not the head of your household, and he is acting childish. It looks like you are not only the head of the household, but also the parent. I'm sorry.

When you fight and he quits talking to you, that's the popular "silent treatment". It's a passive-aggressive behaviour; he's telling you that he's angry with you, holding a grudge, by refusing to talk to you. You feel punished, and that's exactly what he wants. There's no way for you to "fix" that; you can confront him about it, but he has to face it, too, and want to stop that behaviour. Begging for sex seems to be part of the same thing. If it's not, I can't see any reason why he doesn't want sex with you, unless he's getting it somewhere else. Do you have any reason to suspect him of cheating on you?

Living in the mirror, thinking he looks so good, well, there's not really a real problem with that, right? I mean, as long as it doesn't extend into conceitedness in other areas, the fact that he spends an hour in front of the mirror doesn't hurt anyone. If it translates into him not wanting to do things because he might get dirty, or because of some "ick factor", that may lead to more unhappiness.

Overall, I think the worst problem right now is the passive-aggressive behaviour. And he may not take you seriously untill you guys get some marriage-couselling. Confront him on your own, first. If that doesn't help, get the counselling. If he won't go, go by yourself; tell him that, follow through, and take the counsellor's advice. Above all, do NOT feel guilty about getting help in dealing with *his* problem.

One last thing; being over sensitive, the silent treatment, and not seeming to like sex isn't acting like a girl. While those behaviours are usually attributed to women because they're usually seen in women, a woman is not acting like that simply *because* she's a woman. In women, too, the silent treatment is passive aggressive. When a woman is truely acting over sensitive, it's probably because she's learned since she was little that acting that way will help her get her way; it's manipulative in a woman, just as it is in your husband or any other man who acts that way.

And I've found that when a woman doesn't want sex with a man that she has a strong emotional attatchment to, like her husband, and it's not because she's over stressed or something, it's usually because she just never learned to enjoy sex, sometimes because their first was too painful and they never moved past it. That reasoning is highly unlikely in your husband, since men don't experience pain the first time as a woman does. That's why I said it seemed as if his not liking for sex was either part of the passive-aggressive behaviour, or he was going outside the marriage for sex.

Answer 3

If you know it's going to bother him for days when you fight, then why don't you simply not fight? Ever think of that? Just shut your mouth and don't. Of course you feel punished, as well you should. Why don't you learn something from that punishment and make some personal changes? Learn to control your temper. Being ill tempered isn't "manly", it's childish. Being sensitive isn't "womanly", it's adult.

If you don't like the quiet sensitive type, then why are you with him? Sounds like you are now faulting him for the very things you at first found attractive in him. Lots of women would LOVE to have a quiet sensitive guy instead of some tempermental loud mouth who doesn't give a darn how he looks. If you don't want him please set him free to find someone who will appreciate him.

Answer 4

Have you ever considered that this is just your relationship and that it is fine the way it is for the most part. You fell for him for who he is and this relationship for the most part works because of the roles the two of you have taken on. I would be more concerned about fixing the problem with the no talking after a fight and making you feel punished, rather than worrying about him acting more like a man. You two need to set up rules to deal with fighting so that you don't hurt each other so much and so that you can end the fight quickly and not have it drawn out for days.

Answer 5

When you and him fights. Don't make yourself feel like your punished. Him not talking is just his way getting back to you. Just keep talking to him, like you always do. For an exsample, you ask him what he wanst for dinner. He don't say nothing, then just go on and say " I think chicken sounds good " You keep doing this, it will break him from the habit.
Don't go begging for sex, it's just showing him your weakness. Try your best to go without as long as you can. When he wants some, just tell him your not in the mood. Two can play that game.
Noone is God gift to women or men. Spend as much time, like he does in front of the mirror. When he wants to go out for dinner, stand there for least thirty mintues and keep prepping yourself.
Tell him, that you are tried of being both sides. Put your foot down,and let him know things are going to change.

Answer 6

Is this a normal behavioral pattern for your husband? In the event that he's acted like this some, but getting worse, then I say this to you...a man can also have a hormone in balance. My husband went threw something like you are describing, and it was brought on by his body levels creating more female hormones than male hormones. So you could convince him to go in for a routine check up. And the reason I think that you feel like you "act more like a man", is because you are trying to keep a balance in your relationship.Of course, possibly you too, could be suffering from a hormone in balance. Stranger things have happened in this ole world. See a Dr. first and rule out any physical conditions.

Answer 7

Stop pampering him! Stop begging for sex. Stop treating him like a prima donna (which is what he's acting like). And when it finally gets on your nerves, tell him straight up that he's acting like a total whiny *****...and he needs to stop it NOW! In short, stand up for yourself!

As for personal grooming, there's nothing to do to change that! Be thankful he cares about his appearance and doesn't look like something living on the streets!

Answer 8

don't beg for sex, he knows you are going to beg for it. and stop acting like such a guy, that is why he takes on the girl role because you took his place..

Answer 9

Don't be so demanding. You sond like you are too dominate. Be more ladylike and let him step up if he wants to. Otherwise, you can't change a guy.

Answer 10

Maybe he's really gay and you just don't know it yet.

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