Can a marriage survive an affair???

Question

I'd like to know what your opinion is...this affair was a one time thing, with the husband of a friend. Too many rum and cokes and two people who were not getting what they needed at home...not an excuse, just a factor of what led up to it...What do you think?

So far, you all have had AMAZING answers...thank you! Wanted to add...hubby already knows about this...I DID come clean, now I regret it! AND the other guy won't leave me alone!

Answer 1

I truly believe that a marriage can be saved from anything. Yes it is hard but years of a marriage is just to important to just throw away. Human Beings are just that we are not perfect and are subject to mistakes. It is how we deal with those mistakes and grow from them that will in the end decide on the chances of the marriage surviving. Just because we falter does not mean that we are not worthy of the love of a spouse. Love consist of many things incluing tolerance so if you keep in mind that this is the man that you love and the man that you chose to marry and he does the same you can keep the lines of communication open and hopefully you can get back what it is that is obviously lacking or missing from the marriage. Just never stop talking and listening and growing.

Answer 2

You made a mistake and had an affair at a time of weakness in your life. You know you were wrong and won't ever do it again. You have confessed to your husband. You need to give your husband a chance to learn to trust you again. Let him know you really truly regret the affair and that he's the most important thing in your life. Go to counseling. Work on your relationship. If your husband is willing to work on it, then you'll get through it. It won't be easy and you'll have to make a 100% commitment to your marriage.

Just a piece of advice, intially you'll need to do whatever your husband asks of you. You need to prove to him that you're worth fighting for and that the affair was a one time mistake. Work on the reasons that led you to the affair to begin with. Good luck.

Answer 3

I think a marriage can get past a betrayal. There is a lot of factors though, honesty, rebuilding the trust that is lost, taking responsibility for the mistake. It isn't about what you or anyone WAS NOT getting at home it was still a horrible mistake, come clean, face whatever consequences and don't blame anyone else but the people that cheated. I think a real deep love can get past a betrayal, but it takes work!

Answer 4

it all depends on how long the affair has been going on and how many times you had an affair..... but most of all it all depends on wether or not you could get the trust back in your marriage... because once thats gone then there really is nothing left. if you feel that you needed to have an affair then maybe there is something lacking in your marriage- you need to examine your self, your marriage and your spouse.

Answer 5

It depends on the marriage, doesn't it? There is no single answer to your question, did you really imagine there would be? I'll tell you this, if you want your marriage to survive, and you really think the affair was meaningless, DONT tell your husband about it. That will be the death of the marriage.

Answer 6

Yes, a marriage can survive an affair but it takes a LOT of hard work.

The husband of the friend, too many rum and cokes! Are you fooling yourself with this factor 'cause you're sure not fooling me!

Answer 7

Yes it can. My parents were married 25 years when my father had an affair. They finally worked things out between them and got through it and renewed their marriage vows. It takes a lot of love, understanding and communication to make it through something like this. My parents now been together 37 years and still going strong. Hope it all works out for your friend!

Answer 8

Well, I am not one to judge, and I definitely have made mistakes in my life, but that's a big one!! It's really, really hard to regain trust after something like that. Also your husbands ego is gonna be crushed and that makes men nutty. If he knows the guy it's gonna be even worse than that, so, If you want your marriage to work you should probably sit down with your husband and ask him what's gonna need to be done in order to relieve his hurt feelings and go from there.
Good Luck, I hope it works out good for ya!

Answer 9

First of all, can you honest with your spouse??, if so, confession is the key, graveling comes next, then depending on how long and how much you are willing to endure because of the hurt and pain your drunken stupor has caused, not to mention the problem of friendships being torn down, is going to be a problem. If you love the person and yourself you must be honest, before it gets out and it will get out, stuff like this always does, and if you are considering telling , he may be considering telling, to which its better coming from you then an angry wife/frined on your doorstep or worst.

Then you guys need to seek out the problem in the marriage, and correct it to move forward. Good luck

Answer 10

yes, infact it can. But men tend to be a lot less forgiving in relationships that deal with affairs. On the flip side, there are the few men that find are able to be understanding to such situations. Be careful, but always be HONEST. So if you do cheat, and love the person, tell them...for loves purpose and benefit! Even if you get left, at least you know you told them out of love.