We have been married 20 years. I told him how much i wanted him. I asked if he had a physical problem. He said it was me i wasn't much of a woman. I blamed myself. For the last few years he wants sex often. The problem now is me. I am repulsed by his touch and if i dont do it he gets mad. What now?
2006-06-29 09:58:12 · 4 answers · asked by mslostmymind 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Part of me has to wonder how you have managed to stay together for 20 years. You should not have stayed with a man who treated you as if you were the reason for not having sex, and you should definitely not stay with a man who gets mad because you won't have sex with him. 20 years is a long time and sex is not the most important thing in a relationship but how your treated is, and he isn't treating you like a loving husband should and you shouldn't put up with it.
2006-06-29 10:07:08 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 17⤊ 2⤋
Threw out your 20 years of marriage, your husband has blamed you for "HIS" sexual inadequacy. He did such a good job laying the blame over to you, ... you finally bought into this. Its no different than being brain washed. You eventually wore down, and mentally you gave in to the thought that you were the problem. Now, you feel repulsed because you still believe what he initially programed you to believe. He has created this problem, and as long as you have been convinced to think you "wasn't much of a woman", may haunt you for a long time. I totally agree with "R-Krell" answer. Try and find out why you allowed him to have this much control. Your thinking process is going to have to be tore apart and rebuilt with reassurance that there was never a problem with you being a sexually vivacious woman. You have been robbed of a very special gift. Please don't waste any more time on things that are not true. Never let someones opinion over ride your mental health.
2006-06-29 18:09:14 · answer #2 · answered by smplyme132 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it seems his answer that you were'nt much of a woman has come back to bite him in the a**. maybe his statement has caused the repulsion to his touch. no woman wants to be made to feel unfeminine at any time. you probably still feel very hurt and resentful to that statement. try asking him what has changed and telling him that it really affected how you view his affections twords you now.
2006-06-29 17:25:12 · answer #3 · answered by shawnatalks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make up you mind ... you wanted him, now you don't? You are impossible to please it seems.
Take him or he will get it elsewhere...
2006-06-29 17:02:00 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋