Should i leave my husband?

Question

Tomorrow is my 5 yr anniversary and i am heartbroke. My husband acts like he hates me and the kids. About a year ago he got his Va disability and has not worked since. I work full time as a paramedic he also has a paramedic license and used to work as a paramedic and he still can. He started volunteering for the fire department a year ago and now thats all he lives for. I want to move into a house since we live in a apartment and we have talked about buying a house and now he dont want to do that all he talks about is staying in the city so he can respond to calls. Our kids cant play outside we live in apartments. He has offered me 1500 a month in child support if i will take our son and forget the divorce so he can be free. Well i believe he wants to be free from everything no kids no wife nothing but volunteering. Sad thing is the guys at the fire dept think he is a idiot. I have been trying to keep the marriage together for our 4 yr old son but i give up i wont stay no love here.

He is still allowed to work and draw the va disablity va is different from ssi. He responds to fires and accidents.

oh i get it now duh. Another women in the picture i have thought about that to.

Answer 1

It sounds like he doesn't want to be married anymore. You can't force him to stay with you, even for the kid. Your best to move on with your life and make yourself happy. He's got some kind of problem. You sound like you got it together. You'll be fine. Just get away from him and go on. You'll probably meet a real man.

Answer 2

Shame when something like that, come over your own wife and child. He sounds like he is hateful, selfish, and most of all lazy. My husband was a volenteer firefighter. But he also spend time with me, as well as the station house himself.
He told me one time, I will never forget it. No matter what he does for a living, how much he volenteers for something. He loves me most then the worlld it self. He would drop everything, and risk getting fire. Just to keep me in his life.
I wish so bad, you and your son don't have to go thru it. I can't blame ya for leaving, I would to if he was my hubby. Your work is going to be cut out for ya. Being mother and father to your son. I hope you can get a better place with a yard. So you can watch him play in the grass.
If I was you, I would leave him and take my son along with me. Let him sit in that apartment with that radio up his butt. Sometimes an idiot has to find things out the hard way. He going to learn, what matters the most walk out the door. Don't know what you got till it's gone.
I wish the best for ya, in whatever you choose to do.

Answer 3

Get a lawyer, a divorce, take the $1500 in childsupport every month (through Child Support Enforcement) and take this as a life lesson girl. He doesn't want to be married anymore, so cut your losses before it gets worse or more kids come into the picture.

Answer 4

That is horrible! I am sorry you have to go through with that. I believe in no divorce, but I guess in your case. If he doesn't want it and your the one who is holding it all together, you can't do it all by yourself. It takes two. I guess maybe try a wake-up call. Do what he suggested, go out on your own and see how he acts. If he still doesn't care then there's your answer. You can't do it all on your own, plus don't let your little guy see a marriage that has not love. It's better in the long run for him too.

Answer 5

sounds like he's afraid to go back to work for $$ since he's getting VA disability. Sounds weird since he wants to pay YOU $1,500.00 a month BUT no divorce..And what kind of calls does he REALLY respond to ? Yes, I know, sounds horrible, but, he's hiding something.....You need to find out what his real motive is, because "just" volunteering doesnt hack it. Theres more to this than meets the eye....Good Luck AND, just paying the $1,500.00 a month does not set him free. He's a parent and has obligations, like it or not

Answer 6

If your husband isn't willing to be a part of your marriage there isn't much you can do. You can try to get him to go to marriage counseling with you - but you can't force him to want to be a good husband and a good father.
If you are going to seperate it's important that you do it legally - getting divorced legally is a must and yes he should be giving you child support no matter what. As long as you both agree to the custody and child support your divorce shouldn't be super expensive or messy.

Answer 7

BS! If he acts hateful towars you and your child is because he resents being married and you are just on his way to be a free man.
He is afraid of going trough a divorce, perhaps because of the child, or perhaps because he is too lazy to actually do something about it and wants the easy way out.
Obviuolsy, he is not happy being marrried and you need to take that as an advisory and not a challenge,
He wants out and he wants it the easy route, Since he is not working, perhaps he is still using your health insurance? how convinient....

Answer 8

wow that is tuff
but just hang in there for a bit
and show him that he got no chance in the fire dept
and how your family is suppose to come first
like go to your parents house for like a couple of weeks and if he dont call or anything
then its over
im sorry though
i know how you feel
and your 4 year old son too
that loser better get his priorties straight
but dont do nothing too crazy yet
just wait like a couple of weeks and see how things go
and if it dont move not even one inch
then your done honey
and move on

Answer 9

First have your tried counseling? If he won't go then maybe it is time to pack your and your sons bags and go stay somewhere else. I wouldn't just go get a divorce right away but I would stay away for a while and c if he wakes up if he doesn't then move on

Answer 10

Do you think he's bluffing? Find out for sure if he does want to end it. Either way, this guys not eating humble pie. Maybe his pride will keep him company after you set him free.