My fiance lied to me how should I handle it???

Question

So today I get a call from a friend of mine who works with my fiance. He told me that it was AShley' birthday and he could not go out to lunch with her. She was going to lunch with my fiance. So I called himi at lunch time and asked him what he was doing for lunch. He got defensive asking why I was concerned about lunch. I told him that I wanted to meet him for lunch. He replied that it was the end of the month and he was to busy next week would be better for him. He also said that enterprise was paying for their lunch today. So I looked on our online banking and saw that 40 dollars was taken out by him. My friend than called again and said that my fiance and ashley did indeed go to lunch together he watched them drive off together. I am fuming.... He doesnt know that I know yet. I cannot stand Ashley I used to work their and last year she tried getting mike and I to break up. Funny thing is she is engaged as well. I am just mad about the lie period how do i approach this

Answer 1

You should level with him that you caught him in a lie. Tell him you trust him and all (I assume you had no problems up until this point) but if he was going to lunch with Ashley, he should have just said, "It's her birthday and I'm taking her to lunch as friends." If you trust your man and he's never done anything else to make you think otherwise of him, give him the benefit of the doubt. Also, why is your friend randomly butting in here? Was there something else that casted a shadow of doubt across the land? If he's usually trustworthy, then let him off with a warning but make it clear you don't particularly like this Ashley girl and you'd prefer he limited his time spent with her. And you know what else? If he turns out to be a dog and cheats with her, well, at least those losers will deserve each other and you'll be free to find someone who is genuinely worthy of your love.

Answer 2

You are SOO good. Definately take up the PI advice, other than that - I would see cause for worry. If he is your "Fiance" then he should not feel that he has to hide anything. I would definately confront him tonight in person at home and ask him why he would feel that he has to be rude (#1) when spending quality time with you. Lie about Enterprise picking up the bill (#2) then why would he have to pull out money and then the whole "end of the month crap" is getting really old. If he is too overwhelmed and occupied by your time maybe you need some distance and to rethink this life changing decision

Answer 3

The most important person in your life is lying to you, thats the perception right now. PERCEPTION IS REALITY. You need to ask your fiance no one else, as you & him are going to be life partners not Ashley or her BF/Fiance. You need to be satisfied with the answer. I would suggest be sure don't rush into this. If you confront him he will get furious and things can take a different turn. But if you take him into confidence then he might be able to tell you the truth versus his defensiveness. So you have to handle this with a cool and open mind.

Best of Luck

Answer 4

Be totally honest with him and let him know your feelings. If you keep your statements at "I feel" rather than "you did this or that," it tends to be less accusatory and more open for engaging conversation. Tell him that your friend saw him and Ashley go to lunch. Be honest. Tell him how that made you feel. Ask him to be honest about his feelings. Chances are that they are just friends and want to talk about being engaged, who knows! You're the one who is his fiance! You've got him. Now, keep him by engaging him and not accusing him. Men like the feeling of a woman who is going to be understanding and accepting. That's how you keep them honest as well. That will keep them faithful also! Trust me, I know! Learn from my mistakes. Good luck!

Answer 5

Firstly, stay calm and don't accuse him of anything. Say to him that you know he went to lunch with this girl, and that you know for a fact, ask him why he did not feel able to tell you the truth about that, and then tell him it hurts you to the heart when he tells you lies and that he should always tell you the truth, no matter what. Then say to him that you are really not happy that he went for lunch with another woman and tell him you are aware that she likes him and has tried to split you up before. It may well be very innocent, but he should certainly explain himself to you, you deserve that.

Answer 6

Maybe he didn't tell you about going to lunch with Ashley because he didn't want to upset you. I would calmly tell him that you heard he went for lunch with her, and ask why he felt he needed to lie. After all, it was just lunch.

Answer 7

You definitely want to reconsider marrying this man. It's not a good sign that he is keeping things from you already. Make sure your friend is stating the truth about them leaving together. CALMLY mention to him that someone you know saw him out at lunch, but don't mention her, see what his reaction is.

Answer 8

You need to confront him but don't accuse him. Don't jump at him either I would say don't call him tonight or talk much at home. He'll realize something's wrong and ask then you can tell him you know he lied and you don't understand why he couldn't tell you he was going to have lunch with this girl.

Answer 9

Ask your friend to call you next time he's going out with this person follow them and at the same time phone the scanks fiance up and have him meet you and you can catch then both at the same time

Answer 10

Maybe he figured you'd get mad at him if he told you. Perhaps he thinks that you'll over react. Maybe they weren't doing anything but eatting lunch. But, he should have told you. Mention to him that a friend of yours saw him and her together and see what he says.