he always told me he would work but i was in the hospital for weeks and he never attempted he borrows money from my family tries to control who i talk to what about has to know everything
2006-06-29 09:36:24 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get Rid of Him. He is baggage. You know it or you would not be asking this question
2006-06-29 09:40:32 · answer #1 · answered by amy c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about this; you probably feel very much alone in raising your kid and keeping everything together.
Sadly, it sounds like he is using you and whomever he can to avoid taking any responsibility for his life and the people he's supposed to be taking care of.
1. He refuses to work.
2. He would rather live off someone else's money (no pride).
3. Controlling (won't let you talk to others)
4. Self-centered (always has to be right).
Basically, he's really insecure about his life and doesn't feel capable of giving anything to anyone else, because he needs to take care of himself first. He also is unwilling to work for anything.
It could go either way, depending on the details. Maybe he loves you enough or is unhappy enough he would be willing to listen to someone with good advice; chances are he is too prideful to listen to anyone and thus will continue to use you and your family.
Essentially, he probably needs to be "Dr.Phil"'ed -- told in blunt terms what he's doing, then offering him the help he needs to change. And if he doesn't change, then you need to decide what's best for you, your child, and him in the long run. Does the marriage have a chance to succeed?
Is there anyone he respects whom could provide some clear direction for him? Meanwhile, you need to find some support for yourself; you're caring for the baby AND your husband, without anyone to care for you.
In the end, if he really loves you, he:
1. Needs to find steady work and contribute to the family.
2. Stop taking the easy way out and borrowing from anyone he can.
3. Stop controlling you and trust you, for once -- and not worry about you accidentally saying something that makes him look bad.
4. Realize that he doesn't have to be right to be acceptable. He can afford to listen to others; he doesn't have to know everything. (His attempts to look good or be right are just making him look bad and rather dumb.)
2006-06-29 16:49:17 · answer #2 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the Bible says that a man who doesnt work deserves to starve. Sadly that affects you and your baby. Im wondering however if this might be an issue of lack of confidence on his part to go out there and get one. You didnt mention if he has skills. Or how you support yourselves. Why would your family give him the funds and not you. I suggest you talk with your family and encourage someone to talk with him about his responsibilities and no more handouts. If that doesnt work, then you will have to make a decision if you think you can live with this kind of neglect and abuse. Hopefully you will decide what is best for your environment of you and your child.
2006-06-29 17:13:21 · answer #3 · answered by dizzyd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so humm he wants you and his child to be poor with no opprotunites and he wants to skimp by in life maybe get welfare, possibly foods tamps HMM sound like he cares a lot about you and the child. if this isnt love what is it ? ask him what his goals are for the futuer , how does he see this child growing up in welfare housing maybe ? I dont think the guy loves you maybe wants some security but if he really loved you he would be trying to help you build a better life and trying to help you do better.
words are easy. He needs to prove some love with actions, don't believe a word of what he says, hes to immature to know what love is , you better plan on getting a job yourself becasue he sounds lazy . Actions prove his love, words are cheap and you need to be smart enough to tell the difference.
2006-06-29 16:47:51 · answer #4 · answered by mdbuchanan2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs profesional support, am also worring that he will not accept to take any profesional help. People like him are to selfish to see that they have aproblem and they blame everyone else for there misery, he is a bad father figure for your child. You need to pray, to be strong and if there is a chance to make this marriage succeed is only if he gets this help.
You realy must ask him to do this, or one day you will have enough and you will be the one finishing the marriage because you will had it.
2006-06-30 08:15:54 · answer #5 · answered by Julia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what is best for you and your children. Think about it, you can waste time wondering and watch your life spiral down the toilet. Chances are the situation will only get worse. If your husband really wanted to succeed, he would be more like the ocean, no talk and all action.
Better yourself. Do something to improve your situation and make a happy life for yourself. You can do it!!! Best of luck to you.
2006-06-29 16:43:45 · answer #6 · answered by mark c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A$$ to the curb time. He's a user and an abuser. If he's controlling who you see & speak to, lies to you and uses your family for resources rather than getting off his lazy a$$ and getting a job, you don't need that crap. Get his butt out of your life, get on with your own, and never look back.
2006-06-29 16:41:47 · answer #7 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like his actions don't equal the words out of his mouth. If a man loves you he doesn't just say a lot of words, he shows it through his actions. By doing what he says and keeping to his word. I think you can see this man isn't that way and doesn't love you enough to be the man you deserve in your life. You need to think about dumping him and stop letting him just live off of you and your family.
2006-06-29 16:42:23 · answer #8 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i i want you all to know frist of all i'm her hubanson and scd. of all she didn't tell you are son was 3 mouths preing and i didn't borrow from her family i was there ever day at the hosbilted and that i allso the three mouths she and my son was in there i did keep the bills payed and that i still have been today i have been selling computer and building them and are bills are paid and are son leon has ever thing he needs expition his father now because of what u all have said she been depress because of having a baby and that she got ditetbites now and i been doing ever thing and pervideing for her and my son
2006-07-02 11:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by David R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT of this relationship now girlfriend....this is trouble from the get go. Speaking from experience, do not ever relinquish control to any person...who the hell is he to tell you who you can and cannot talk too??? If you feel threatned get to the police immediately......he's a wifebeater in training. Its how it all starts honey.
2006-06-29 16:40:57 · answer #10 · answered by msjinx39 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, so your husband is not man enough to support his family? I say kick his a$$ to the curb and tell him when he can support the family he created he can come back. Don't let him take advantage of you!!! Is that the example you want to set for your child?
2006-06-29 16:40:25 · answer #11 · answered by Sharlala 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋