I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND DEARLY WE HAVE LIVED TOGETHER FOR A YEAR AND BEEN TOGETHER A LITTLE MORE THEN THAT BUT HE DOESNT SEEM CLOSE TO COMMITT. I FEEL LIKE IM GROWING IMPATIENT. IM TO THE SH*T OR GET OFF THE POT POINT. IS THAT WRONG? I DONT KNOW HOW TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT OUR FUTURE I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE IM NOT WASTING MY TIME. HELP?
2006-06-29 09:30:56 · 27 answers · asked by tamera 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey hers an idea.....ask him! He may surprise you.
Cheer's
2006-06-29 09:32:24 · answer #1 · answered by ♠Mike♠ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Patience is what you need, Adda h. No, not that you need to wait on him for another year or two. You need to talk to him, and at a time and place where you can turn off your impatience. If he senses your impatience (by being preachy instead of supportive, for instance) he will close the door to your need of a closer relationship.
Be calm and draw out his vision of the future. Ask him what he wants to be doing in three years. Keep yourself out of the conversation as much as possible. Talk about him. Answer about him. Make it all about him. Be supportive all the way through the conversation. Feed him sweet thoughts. Tell him how cool he is, and that you support him no matter what he sees in his future. Then later, think about what he said. Could or would you fit into his vision for himself? Did he make a point of including you? Does he seem to want to share his successes with you?
The main point here is to allow him to open up about your relationship without asking him directly. I would usually suggest direct questions, but then I think he would sense your frustration and become defensive. Good luck.
2006-06-29 09:47:15 · answer #2 · answered by Flame 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not able to talk to this man about your future together and have been together for over a year, then I would say get out now. If you have been together for a year and still do not have open communication, it is not good. You are even living together and that has not opened up communication lines, not much is going to do it now.
2006-06-29 09:33:55 · answer #3 · answered by hannahonelove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats the rush...you didn't really wait that long to move in together..and that was a huge step....talk about children to him and you'll probably get a better understanding of when and if he wants to commit to you...if he says he wants children in the near future, then let him know you would prefer to be married before the children start happening...if he says he doesn't see children in the future yet...your in for a long engagement.
2006-06-29 09:38:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living with someone is a big step in a relationship, and being together for a year seems like he has already made a commitment. If your relationship is as comfortable as it sounds, just ask him. Don't be overly-cautious, nor interrogative. Just ask him, tell him how much the topic means to you, and if he's worthwhile, he'll tell you.
2006-06-29 09:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by madmaxi_008 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look you haven't been together long enough to be in that stage yet. One of my best friends has been with a guy for over 5 years and he still hasn't asked. Get there and then you can lose it. I feel that if you bring up your future and your biological clock to him you're going to lose him. Don't freak him out. Just figure out a way to deal with your anxiety.
2006-06-29 09:33:59 · answer #6 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him, then you can talk about future. We cannot define what will happen tomorrow, but we can plan possible actions. Talk clearly to him about your plans and pay attention in the answers. Insist again, but do it patiently. The answers will come from the conversation... there is no other way.
2006-06-29 09:41:29 · answer #7 · answered by vahucel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't decide after a year, then he's never going to decide. He does need to sh** or get off the pot. Move on, you are wasting your time!!
2006-06-29 09:35:03 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think you are wasting your time now ,then you are!!!.What you need to do is ask yourself..if you trully love him or is this a passing faze,..Love is patient,but you need to talk openly to him about how you feel about all this,and how he trully feels about all of it..If you mean by commit[marriage]..then both of you need to be hounest about your feelings and what you both want out of life..save your self some PAIN..and ask him...what is trully going on with the two of you
2006-06-29 09:40:26 · answer #9 · answered by nivlac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How in love can you possibly be with someone you don't know how to talk to, that is crazy. If you can't just come out and say it, I think this is the wrong relationship.
2006-06-29 09:36:45 · answer #10 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can ask him but if you don't feel you should .then you should wait if you love him and you know he loves you then you wont just leave him because you love him im not saying wait forever but. it you don't like that then you may just want to leave him subtle little hints like buying wedding mags. talk about friends that may be getting married even if you make them up just stuff like that might get him to think about it hope this helps and GOOD LUCK
2006-06-29 09:39:37 · answer #11 · answered by wildchick519 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋