why are people attracted to self destruction?

Question

What i've found is that everyone has a certain craving for drama in their life. Everyone, at least subconciously, tries to start something or is attracted to something that, ultimately, is not good, healthy, or conducive to a peaceful life. For example, telling someone something that you KNOW will make them angry, and doing it anyway. A vauge example, but hopefully some great thinkers can post insightful answers to this question.

Are we just attracted to bad things? Is it possible to live in a truly drama-free, peaceful life?

Answer 1

Because they lack self-confidence. People are not attracted to bad things. The nature of our being is bliss and joy. Conflict occurs when we loose sight of this. So, yes, it is possible to live a carefree and drama-free existence. We get what we focus on.

Answer 2

Life would be boring without a little drama. Drama is entertainment and Hollywood proves it. Why else would we shell out $10 to watch a movie, $5 to read about celebrity scandals, or sit hours in front of a television? Even if drama does not exist in our own lives, we seek it in others'.

If you've ever seen the movie The Matrix, they mention that the original design for the matrix was that of a utopia, or a perfect world. However the humans rejected the idea of a perfect world and it backfired. How can we presume to create a perfect world when we ourselves are imperfect? If we had everything that we wanted, what would we have left to strive for?

I think most people would like to attain World Peace, but unfortunately, I think it's impossible. Think how hard it is just to make one person happy all the time...now multiply that by 6 billion. Drama will always exist and we cannot avoid it.

Answer 3

People are not attracted to self destruction per se, they are more likely attracted to something familiar in the self destructive behavior. Now you might ask why would anyone view self destructive behavior as familiar, well now, therein as they say lies the rub. We as humans do only those things that serve some purpose in our lives. Behavior you view as self destructive may actually meet some unresolved need we have. At our core, barring any significant psychopathology, we all want love, a sense of belonging and a a feeling of competence to manage our lives. Most of us develop the ability to manage our lives effectively. We can set priorities, make decent decisions, seek out and receive support. For those people who can't manage their lives effectively, they develop alternate ways to cope. Like jumping from relationship to relationship, or using alcohol and other drugs. Those ways may seem like they work for a while, but ultimately they only add to the existing inability to manage ones life. So how do you stop the cycle of same *#%$ different day? Decide what you want, then take a good long look in the mirror then begin to make choices that support what you want. Most people end up with drama, when they go looking for something outside themselves that can only really be found inside themselves. What do you think?

Answer 4

Because people love drama and love to have something to complain about. If there was nothing to complain about then they wouldn't get the attention they so desire. So they make bad decisions which in turn makes people talk about them.

I have to say that a drama-less life is really boring. For instance a man or women have perfect life together, the children are perfect, the house is perfect, money is no problem, the sex is even good, but due to everything being perfect and there is nothing to argue over and no drama in the home because everything is peaceful and boring. I bet the woman or the husband or both of them will end up having an affair. We scratch our heads about this every day... Then we now have drama not to mention stupidity.

Just remember that the squeaky wheel gets the grease... the one that is submissive and meek gets ignored.

Answer 5

We can't experience the highest highs without experiencing the lowest lows. This may be a reach, but is it possible that we reach down in that way so that when we rise to the top again, we're just that much higher? I've thought about this before, too. It does seem odd.

Perhaps it's only natural to 'self-destruct' to a point in order to both raise our tolerance and our natural level of 'happiness'. It would be easier to deal with something we know we caused than something that was just thrown on us, it seems. Maybe finding conflict is just a subconscious way of increasing our ability to deal with those occasional (and sometimes not-so-occasional) blows that can tear some people apart.

Answer 6

Well, as you mentioned, some people are just seeking attention. Really, how many people have we heard tell us that they had a gun in their hand and thought about pulling the trigger, but "don't know why they didn't?" No, a real suicidal never says anything and just goes ahead with it. The rest are attention miners. I should know because I've done that before. Suicide is supposed to be the ultimate attention-getter. Maybe that's why the emo people cut themselves. Yes, a drama-free life is achievable. Most married couples just go about their routines. TV becomes the dad's joy, and shopping becomes the mom's joy. That's a very undramatic life to me.

Answer 7

Like moths to a flame, human-kind is attracted to the very things which lead us to our downfall. Self-destruction is also another way to find peace for our own inner conflict and guilt, by being "punished" in some manner for other actions. To live in a drama-free, peaceful world would mean that nothing ever happened and mankind would never evolve.

Answer 8

There is darkness within every heart, even in the most pure of person they have the capability to do soemthign awful. There are many reasons why people give in, once in a while it will be for attention (rarely however) Sometimes people can pull themselves away from the darkness in time to save themselves, sometimes they can not.

It is not possible for us to live in a"drama-free" life.
For then we would have none, there would be no way to know what happiness without knowing sadness and pain. We cannot have light without dark.

No amout of faith in God by any name can change that.
No amout of resiting the temptations can save you, the harder you need to fight to avoide temptation, the stronger the darkness becomes in you.

Avoide what you can, and help those that are slipping into darkness find their light again.

Answer 9

I think people like to feel like they matter. They like to think their opinion or actions make a difference in the lives of others. If they don't get positive recognition or attention that they seem to need it can go into the reverse direction. We all want to be heard, seen and recognized and if we can't do that in a positive, healthy environment alot of times we will create on in which we can fill that need for recognition even if it's by doing something we know is wrong. It's a learned behavior that is difficult to change. Most people don't even notice it and if confronted about it will just make the behavior worse.

It is possible to live a peaceful life. You have to be self assured enough not to need the acceptance of others in order to pursue your goals. You have to keep people with those kind of chaotic tendencies removed from your life if you can. If you can't you have to learn to deal with those kinds of bad habits/behaviors without lashing back and keep the cycle going. That's just my op..

Answer 10

So i imagine u have complications that are corresponding to melancholy inspite of if you're saying you dont. the indicators sound like it. You stated you imagine unpure recommendations about Kirsten Stewart i imagine you're searching your self. I went by something like this and certain I felt undesirable about it yet then I embraced it i pass both options in case you comprehend what I propose yet I lean in the course of men. Um besides I thinks its melancholy. Um attempt to talk with someone close and dont be so connected to Self-destruction, I also imagine it really is a few sort of self-hatred. U comprehend you dreaming of being somebody else and also you dont like your self, so yeah I went by that too wishing i became a guy as a replace of a woman, yet yeah i love being a woman... locate effective issues about your self and examine out now to not continually watch self-unfavourable video clips for the relaxing of it. attempt to observe effective video clips that can help you up. besides thats my answer hopes this permits :)