what should I do about my marriage?

Question

I have been married for 14 years and I have not been so good in the marriage. I have cheated twice for reasons that I felt at time were justified. I felt that my husband didn't want to really be at home and work on a relationship. He wanted to be working and getting money instead of working on us. I'm not saying he shouldn't have went to work but not 7 days a week. Well my affairs were 6 year or more. For the past year we haven't had sex and any touching. I started sleeping on the couch because my back hurt and it went all down hill from there. I started eating out of depression because I said I was not going to fool around anymore even if I felt like I did the last time. He was out of job for a year and he trying to get back on his feet. He said he doesn't want to be intimate because he has a lot of things on his mind like money and bills. I think it's my weight and what I did 6 years age plus money.He also says he's waiting to fall in love again. I say it's time to end this.

Answer 1

yeah as hard as this may sound to you it is something you need to end. There is so much water under the bridge and you both are breaking down. You and he deserve to be happy and if you are not happy together then that means you will be happy apart. I know that there is counseling but no amount of counseling is gonna make him fall in love with u again if he is that bad off. I think that he probably loves you but he has just had it and so have you. Do something before this whole thing engulfs you and him and there is no turning back. I wish the best for the both of you and i really mean it.

Answer 2

Don't end it, especially if you have kids. I would get marriage counseling about getting over the affairs if your husband is willing. Both of you sit down and write down why you first fell in love with the other and then swap papers and read it. Then try to be somewhat like that again and go to the place where you met or where he proposed. As for the weight thing, try to lose some weight. If you don't have time to exercise, go get some of the wraps done that make you lose weight in one hour. I did it and I lost 50 something inches in one hour. All my clothes were smaller and i felt better about myself. Losing weight gives you more energy for you know what *wink wink*. Or just try pouncing on him when he comes home from work one day. I do that to my husband every once in a while and it always gets things going. If all of the above fails, pray.

Answer 3

Buy a new mattress...move back into the bedroom...and help him fall in love all over again with you.
If this isn't an option...and you've already made up your mind...then sit him down and tell him you think the two of you should come to terms with each other. Dont use your gaining weight as a crutch...and he shouldn't use money and bills as his. Figure out what needs to be done to end it as amicably as possible. After 14 years....you should at least be able to talk without fighting....who knows...he may be waiting for you to get mad enough to say its over.....or maybe he's really trying to ask for some help.......But above all else...you should be talking to him about this.

Answer 4

See, the difficulty with the "Well, a brother and sister residing co-dependently might benefit from the equal advantages" signifies that no 2 directly men and women have *ever* abused the wedding approach once they were not in a romantic courting. But a sibling couple doing so might nonetheless be legally "married"; they might no longer then, in flip, be allowed to marry someone they have been honestly romantically excited by with out dissolving that partnership, with all of the authorized disorders a divorce can intent. I imply, I think if a brother/sister pair (or brother/brother or sister/sister, have been homosexual marriage authorized) desired to go into right into a lifelong, non-romantic authorized partnership, certain, they might conceivably call for they be granted marriage rights. But such partnerships might be alternatively few and some distance among, as I believe the social stigma of annoying you be allowed to marry your sister might more commonly suppress that institution. A extra pertinent query might be on methods to manage the quantity of members in a wedding. If marriage is spread out from in which it's now, then there may be the query approximately whether or not polyamorous unions will have to be legally identified. And if we then extended marriage to enable, say, four participants, then what approximately polygamists who consider socially ostracized on account that they have got a five-approach courting? Polygamists and brothers in need of to marry their sisters, nonetheless, represent a tiny, tiny fraction of American society. Homosexuals, even as nonetheless a minority, quantity some distance bigger. Opening up marriage to equal-intercourse couples, I consider, is a strategy to furnish those romantic pairings the equal authorized rights which might be presently loved by way of equivalent partnerships, even as minimizing the difference to the total approach. Sure, the "slippery slope" argument can nonetheless be carried out, however simply on account that establishing up marriage to homosexuals would open up a higher can of worms doesn't suggest it's not a well and proper factor to do.

Answer 5

I think you may be right. There's a lot of damage in this relationship to be repaired. Its going to take a lot, a lot, of work, and even that may not solve everything! Sometimes you just have to accept that people make mistakes including marrying the wrong person. But why should both of you be living your life this way, being miserable in a broken marriage? Unless both of you are willing to work on repairing the damage things will just continue this way indefinetly.

Answer 6

Sounds like you know what needs to be done. If you truly see no hope for anything good to happen, then give the two of you a chance to have something better in life. You should try counseling first though, and see if that will help. Good luck.

Answer 7

Sweetie, If it's meant to be it'll work out for the best. But if you don't love one another anymore then i would let it go and start a new life else where. But Cheating isn't the answer to problems. Good Luck I wish you the best for both of you.

Answer 8

You may be able to save your marriage if your husband wants to work on it also. Wainting to fall back in love for him will not work. He will have to trust you, and have some type of interest in you to fall back in love, and that will take work from both of you. Sit down and talk to him about working it out, only if he wants to put forward an effort, and if not then its time to discuss divorcing.

Answer 9

Sounds as if you made that decision a long time ago.

You both sound as if you need marriage counseling. From there you both can make a decision as to whether or not the marriage is worth saving.

Answer 10

Run...do not walk to a counselor. You need couples counseling now. If he will not go, go alone. You are depressed and need help.