I need some sincere answers because this is really bugging me.?

Question

I am married, and have been for 14yrs. We separated for 7 but have since reconciled. But now I am thinking maybe I made a mistake. I do still love him dearly, but , I also still love my ex with whom I also have a child with. Two kids, two fathers what is a girl to do. I think I feel obligated to the ex because he is really ill now and I seem to be the only person he can count on right now. So am I feeling pity or love for him. Help me!!!

Answer 1

Some people aren't meant to be married but are meant to be in each others lives!! You can love and help take care of him without being in a romantic relationship. Just because he is ill doesn't mean your life should stop and cater to his needs. If he was a good hearted person he would understand this.
Good luck!

Answer 2

It kinda sounds like you are feeling pity for him, which will distort your true feelings and make you think you love him. You are not obligated to anyone but yourself and your children. Therefore I believe you should take some time and compare the two men and see which one you truly love. You can still be friends with your sick ex and it is okay to be there for him in his time of need. And if you find that it is the other man that you want then I say pursue him, because if you don't then you'll probably regret it and you might find yourself trapped in a loveless marriage. Hope this helps and good luck!!!

Answer 3

Wow! I thougt I was the only one.
I think is a huge mistake, When you are together and for some reason you separate. but then go back things are never the same. you will try everything to make it work but it just doesn't.
Once something is broken no matter how you try to put it back together it will not be the same. Not even crazy glue works. When your heart is broken is worse. The trust, is gone and everything else with it. I wish you luck and make the right decision. I'm going thru the same situation. And I feel maybe I don't love him anymore, but I do care for him, what can I do, his my baby father. but don't let that stop you. Remember the decision is in your hands/

Answer 4

Pity as well as guilt. You want to be there for both men, and you can. One is your husband, and you have been together for technically 14yrs. The other your ex, he is your ex because things did not work out. But now that he is sick you want to make up for some lost time. Just be there for him and don't cheat. but if you feel that your heart is truly with your ex, then i guess you should be there. But i think its a mistake if you run off with him because you have reconciled your marriage with your husband. All that hard work, now your willing to throw it away for your ex who just recently became ill?

Answer 5

Sounds like pity and love. It is always hard when you have different parents for your kids. You want it to work out with each of them and of course it's impossible. You have to remember that they're your exes for a reason... As for the ex who's sick.. if you're the only who can help him, then do so or else you will regret it for the rest of your life. Just remember that helping someone doesn't necessarily mean you have to be in a relationship with them. Good luck in whatever you do and I hope I helped a little bit.

Answer 6

It is possible to love two people. Its also possible to think the grass is greener on the other side, so when you are with one you think you would have been better with the other, and visa versa. I think you have got genuine feelings for both your present partner and your ex. I also think you feel pity as well as love for your ex partner and theres nothing wrong with that it shows you are a warm caring human being. Sorry... I dont have an exact answer for you, just follow your heart.

Answer 7

If you feel bad just because he is ill, then how would you feel if he were fine?

I mean if it is just pity, don't do it for that. You are not gonna do anything but make yourself mad because your stuck taking care of some sick ex. It is better to do things for the reason of doing them to be nice, not becasue you feel sorry fro him.

Think about it. It is cool to be nice and maybe help out a little their, but don't get wrapped up in this thing with your ex.

Answer 8

i dont think you are in love with the ex, i think it is the pitty you feel for him that brings up the times that you were in love with him, but does not mean you are in love with him now. you are going by what compasion and love you had for him in the past and confusing it with now. and being that you love your husband that you have now, i dont see how it would be right for you to leave him . you should not feel obligated to be with someone that you once loved just because he is sick and the father of your children. it is ok to check in with him and even help a little but your main priority is with your husband and that is where you need to keep it. you dont want to ruin your marriage not after all the years that you have had together, how could you even begine to immagine giving all that up? i hope you dont go threw with a divorce , it wont end up like you think.

Answer 9

Why back back track , they are both ex bf for a reason. Move on I know you still love them both but you can move on and still be there for him while he is ill, u dont have to cut him completly out of your life. But dont let pity for him reel you in, obviously ur not happy ur not happy.

Answer 10

u are not obligated to anyone, sick or not. be with the one you love, no sympathy! And if u cant decide, be alone for a while or... think fast- if they were both hanging off a cliff n u could only save one- who would it be? regardless of sickness. Whoever u pick is theone you love the most.