By looking at the majority of the questions I have asked on here, do you think that my marriage is doomed?

Question

We've only been married for 4months, and yet I've found myself asking so many questions on here that I would feel could be detrimental to someone elses relationship. I'm just curious, click on my name and read all of the questions I have asked within the last month concerning my husband, and tell me what you think ok?

Ok, ok, ok, ok...Men, there is no need to throw insults my way. I am NOT mental, thank you very much. I am a woman, who is pregant with twins, hormones raging, who just loves her husband and want things to work. However, our views on things are like night and day. He also accuses me of being crazy and delusional, but that's a man's excuse when he knows that he is wrong. I am 30yrs old, and he is 26, I have way more experience with relationships than he does. So, I really do appreciate the answers, but there is not need to be nasty or rude about it. Oh, and just so you know, I go to GOD first on everything, not yahoo answers. Answers is just a good way for me to hear other people opinions.

Answer 1

I think that your husband needs to cut as many ties with his Ex as possible. If he will not do this then, yes, your marriage is in very big trouble. He should have cancelled the joint bank account as soon as the divorce was finalized if not as soon as the divorce papers were filed. The only reason that the two of them should have any contact is to discuss their children (that can't be helped). If the two of them are still communicating for reasons other than the children then that should tell you he still has feelings for her. If you weren’t pregnant I would say leave, but you are and now you need to try to provide a stable home for all of the children involved. My advise is that you choose your battles, meaning that if you don't make a big stink over most things then the things you do he will take more seriously. The first battle I would choose is the bank account. Let the thing with the "niece" go for now. Have her over and welcome her into your home and be very kind to her. This will make your husband feel good and that is really what you want. Besides I believe the only reason the ex suggested it was because she knew it would upset you, don't give her the satisfaction. I would also ask him to change his cell phone number and not give it to her, if she needs to contact him or her child she can call your home. Having his cell phone gives her way to much access to him. Right now I would only be fighting those two battles and let everything else go. This will show him how strongly you feel about the bank account and the calls. By the way - if he sees that you are caring and sweet to his "niece" he will be so much happier with you and the other issues may disappear. The reality is that the ex will always be in his life. You do not have to allow any behavior that is detrimental to your marriage but do not let every little thing she says and does cause a problem between you and your husband because that is what she is trying to do. Good Luck.

Answer 2

I don't think so. I've been married almost 8 years and you've been married 4 months. The first year is always the hardest because marriage is not as easy as people make it out to be. It takes work on both ends. I think you really love your husband and if that's the case then you should do whatever it takes to make your marriage work. Things have a way of sorting themselves out maybe in the future these situations will all be a foggy memory but you gotta give it enough time to find out.

Answer 3

Looking over the list of questions concerning relationships and marriage - I would have to say I feel your are in a marraige that is already over... If you feel your husband is cheating on your with your own sister - and that he is still is some sort of inappropriate relationship with his ex wife (joint accts and so forth).... and you have many other issues going on (too many to list) - I would do two things - okay three.....

Assuming that you have already try to talk to your husband and got no response -

1. Go sit down and have a heart to heart with your pastor, father, preacher, bishop, rabbi, etc..... and lay it all out on the table,,, your fears and intuition, but never mention or judge with an instance that you can not back up!

2. Write everything down on a sheet of paper - pros and cons and what your marraige is all about

3. weigh everything - the papers, the church, your husbands response and your gut feelings..... then make your decision - this is not a decision we on yahoo can really help with other than to guide you into how to make an informaed decision with information and not emotion!

Good luck with your problems and I hope the outcome in the end is what is right for YOU and the children involved - everyone else should sid on the sidelines and mind their own business... If they pressure you or try to make you choose - tell them this is YOUR DECISION not THEIRS

Answer 4

it makes me sad- but i do not know all the details- marriage is HARD its hard for anyone, as far as your husband considering his x's neice still his, well how long did that relationship last, if it was several years and the neice grew up with him being her only uncle then i could see why he hangs on (not that its right) as far as joint bank accounts- thats just plain wrong! if not just in a finacial sense, but if they are broke up WHY do they need a joint acct??? again i do not know all the details, but it doesnt sound good- why did you two get married? i mean if there was enough love to do it, then im sure there is enough love to make it- but the past has to be laid to rest. because until it is there is no room for your all's future to grow. i know this isnt much help but i hope that perhaps you can step back and look at the situation through a diffrent light and maybe you can ask yourself these questions.

Answer 5

If the two of you don't talk about these things -- that is, if you're asking random people on the internet for advice INSTEAD OF (not in addition to) talking to your husband about these things -- well, I don't know if that means your marriage is doomed, but it certainly means it's not going to be a happy one.

Soliciting advice from strangers is all well and good, but the two of you need to learn to communicate. For example, the thing with his ex and him sharing a bank account -- the issue isn't that they share the account, or that she isn't a nice person and calls on his cell instead of the home phone. The issue is that it bothers you, yet he continues to do it. That means one of two things:

a) He doesn't realize how much it bothers you, or
b) He doesn't care how much it bothers you.

If it's the former, you need to start talking, and learn to communicate -- don't just suggest he consider closing it and hope he'll read your mind and understand how important it is.

Of course, if it's the latter, then he doesn't respect you -- and then your marriage IS doomed.

Good luck.

Answer 6

It's clear to see your husband has brought baggage from his previous relationship on this, supposedly, life long journey with you. There definitely wasn't enough time between relationships, nor situations or circumstances finalized or given closure to begin a new life with a fresh start. I believe there is still hope for a happily ever after its just taken a twist in the road of marital bless early on due to procrastination and lack of organization...bare with this slow process all is not lost..blessings.

Answer 7

Questions are a good thing...Now you need to bring them to your husbands attention.

As for the niece of the ex-wife, it isn't fair to take out a non lasting relationship on any child. If your husband really cares for the girl then let him keep the relationship with her.

As for the checking account, I personally feel that is a BIG mistake. He needs to open is own account or an account with his current wife.

As I mentioned above, questions are good but you really need to talk with your husband. You need to let him know how you are feeling. Do not fight or argue, talk things out with each other.

Answer 8

I looked at all of your questions and you need HELP! More than we can give you here on Yahoo Answers. Go to a Christian counselor and get the help you need! After you feel good about yourself and have your head on straight, take you husband to a good Christian Marriage Counselor or your marriage will be doomed!

Good Luck.

Answer 9

look you are doing this to yourself. marriage is not a fairy tale. and we sometimes make ourselves believe the grass is greener some where else. but you could end up in a far worse situation. back up and get off his back for a while. your husband doesn't know how you feel, because you don't know how you feel. the vows you made are serious and you should remember that marriage is hard work. everyday it is work. so if you mean what you promised before God. then you will get to work.

Answer 10

The thing with His ex and the joint account, also the fsct that he's calling you by yor suster's name raises a lot of flags (to say the least).
You both need to get some counselling and find out where this relationship is heading.