A question for parents--intersexed baby?

Question

I know someone who was born hermaphroditic (born part male and part female), but their parents had them "fixed" to look like one gender only. This was supposedly to alloe this kid to grow up well adjusted. Unfortunately this cover up came to light in their twenties, and this person is unsure what to feel now that they know the truth about themself. Do you think the parent did the right thing? What would you do if you found out your child was intersexed?

Answer 1

It is obviously well-meant, as hermaphrodites have a tough time identifying themselves (as is the social requirement) as either male or female. The fact is, they are both, or neither, depends on who you ask. Think of how much flak the fat kids, the ugly kids, even the girl who looks kinda "guyish"; now imagine how much crap the person who is actually both sexes would get. I completely understand why the person's parents did what they did.
The biggest problem with this is that hermaphrodites start to "become" more of one sex than the other later in life. It doesn't really start until the end of puberty, I believe, so it's impossible to know for certain at birth. I imagine, they had the child "snipped" into a "female" as that would probably be the easiest. I certainly hope the person at hand "became" a female.
Long story short, no, the parents should have accepted the child for what he/she was. Yes, this childs social life might have suffered, but who doesn't go through some grief in the teen years anyway? However, cut them some slack, they did it in the child's best interest (as they saw it).

Answer 2

I think the thing they did wrong wasn't fixing the child but not admitting it to her (I assume) before she was in her 20s. I have a friend whose child had the same birth defect. Of course, she fixed the child!! Why would *anyone* let a child keep a birth defect that could be easily fixed?

Note to some of the above answers... In general, an intersexed baby has *no* working parts. Usually, whichever gender the parents choose for the child, she/he will be infertile as an adult. And, most often, the parents choose to make the child a girl because the surgery is less traumatic to the baby.

Answer 3

well first of all i knew a kid that was like that and the paretnts did the same thing to make the kids look like a boy. but thay did some tests and come to find out he was suposed to be a she and it made him very confused when he found out and well hes gay now because he always had mixed feelings for men and women cause he was atracted to women cause he looked like a male at the time but he was more atracted to men cause of the hormones or what not from actluy suposed to be a girl and i feel bad for them ppl cause when there parents do stuff like that it can hurt the person more than helping them i also knew a baby that was born in no male or female body parts.its sad to see a kid or teen like that cause it can make them very confused on what to feel for who. and no i dont think the parents did the right thing thay should have just left there kid alone if someone cant love them for who thay are when thay get older thats the other persons fault not theres and there is nothing wrong with haveing both parts or no parts. a preson should be loved for who thay are not what thay have.
and may GOD BLESS THIS PERSON U KNOW

Answer 4

Parents do the best they can. Period. If it was my child, I'd leave their parts alone. I'd try to find out what functioning reproductive organs the child had, and I'd go with the sex that best matched the way they could reproduce. When they got 13 and could understand, I'd sit the kid down and tell them. Then ask if they felt that sex was the right choice, or if they preffered the other. If I chose wrong, we'd move and set up the child as the other sex (including birth certificate adjustments). Circumsicion on a male is as hands on as I would ever get with anyone's sexual parts. I'd not try to change my child. If they wanted surgery to change the sex organs later in life, I'd be 101% supportive.

Answer 5

convinced. besides the very undeniable actuality that, in some circumstances, the medical professional chooses without the father and mom' consent. Legally, someone must be male or female in u.s.. they can't only mark the baby's sex as "intersex" on files and go away it at that. finally, they ought to come to a decision what sex to strengthen their baby as. the most important difficulty surrounding sex task in intersex little ones is the alternative to have surgical treatment at beginning or a youthful age. replacing an M or F on criminal files is plenty a lot less complicated than attempting to finished SRS at a later date. surgical treatment will be traumatizing and reason assorted actual and psychological complications. the instantaneous an intersex baby is born, anybody is already attempting to regulate how they offer the impact of being, are going to act, etc. it would want to't be tremendous for a persons' shallowness. little ones should be seen as perfect for who they're.

Answer 6

I wouldn't have surgery. You don't know how that child's going to feel later and every person has the right to make their own decisions about how they want their body to look. The only time I would have surgery is if there's some serious medical problem (i.e., inability to urinate) that needed to be fixed. I would have a DNA analysis done to find out the genetic gender, and name and treat that child accordingly, but surgery is too drastic. It's not like other kids are going to see it (they don't change in gym anymore), nobody but the parents and the child have to know.

Answer 7

Just because the genitals appear to be intersexed, it doesn't mean that they are "genetically" both "xx" and "xy". Sometimes, and it is rare, they are both, but that is usually not the case and is extremely rare.

I would have the child genetically typed, and then have the surgery performed according to the genetic result.

But if I found out that it was likely they were genetically xx and xy, I would not have done anything to them at all. I would allow them to make that decision based on how they developed and felt about themself. As difficult as it may have been for them, if there was no physical reason as far as a health problem, I would not have the surgery performed.

Answer 8

i think that the parent did the right thing. i mean if i had both parts i would feel really wierd and confused about if i was a girl or boy. when asked if i were a girl or boy i wouldnt know what to say and that would be really embarrassing. i think that the parents saved the child a lot of heart ache and confusion by doing this. if i gave birth to a hermaphrodite i would have done the same thing.

Answer 9

I would have done the same thing!! I dont think the parents were wrong....as parents, we want our kids to grow up happy and healthy...we all know how cruel kids and teens can be, and making that child go through those years of their life half male half female would have been cruel....it will be easier for that person to deal with their issues now, as an adult, then it would have been for them to deal with them as a child or teen!! Those parents did the right thing, they saved their little child from a LIFETIME of bullying, self-hatred(due to the bullying), depression, and sadness.....I would have done the same thing!!!

Answer 10

i think they did the right thing.. its the parents who brought the kid in this world so they have the right to make one decision! this kid shouldn't be confused, the kid was bought up with one gender feeling, having both female/male body parts do not make a difference its what a person feels about themself..