unforgiven?

Question

when someone says"i'll forgive but i wont forget."have they truly forgiven?

Answer 1

I would say," no". When I truly forgive someone the hurt they caused me, I really do forget. I've had friends say "remember when we had that fight, and ....." Usually I don't. If it's something I feel hasn't really been resolved then usually in the case of something similar happening I have the habit of drudging it up. But once my point is made, understood and there's resolution I do forget and forgive.

Answer 2

If a person tells you "I'll forgive but i wont forget" when an apology is made then i would say that the person has not forgiven you. This is not to say however that all those who remember past wrongs are unforgiving. The person that makes a point of stating that they will not forget are hanging on to the emotion felt through the wrong. This person has not worked through this and will continue to be bothered by the past occurrence. So it is that, memory is forgiving but emotions are not.

Answer 3

I believe that those people who say that have forgiven the person but not what they did.Just because you have forgiven a person it doesn't mean you forget what they have done to you.For example if someone steals from you ,you will forgive them but you have to know that they have stolen from you before and that people don't change just because you caught them doing it.You have to be smart enough to know that if the person has done it once they will try to do again,no matter what.So you cant forget the actions of a person but you can truly forgive the person.

Answer 4

It depends on where they are coming from. You see some people do not understand the facts of life. Facts are: we are human and we cannot often time justify our actions and/or reactions. We act and react by interrior ( heart ) conditions. By that I mean, it is said, that it is human to err but devine to forgive. True forgiveness comes from God. But we as humans do not understant what it means to truely forgive. That is why I say that it depends on where we come from. I come from the Christian community and I know that forgiveness is a must, and that we are to seek forgiveness from others when we do wrong. If we do not seek forgiveness, then we do not really recognize our mistakes. God has already forgiven us by HIS death on the cross. But we humans have devisive ways for determining wheather someone is deserving of forgiveness or not. The Bible says: THAT ALL HAVE SINNED AND FALLEN SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD. How sad then that we do not do what God has ordained us to do.

I am not sure if this answers your question or not but I hope it helps. If you have any other questions, I am at [e-mail]

Answer 5

When I have said this in the past, what I meant was:" I forgive you because I have put myself in your shoes and can understand how this could have happened (whether or not I agree with your actions) and I'm willing to accept your apology and try not to forever hold this against you or allow this to change our friendship/relationship BUT because this has truly hurt me and has forced me to see you in a different way, I have no choice but to protect myself by remembering this incident and watching out for it in the future. So, if I'm suspicious of you in the future ( I may even wrongly accuse you) YOU have no choice but to forgive ME because it was your wrong-doing that has made me suspicious of you. " That is what "I'll forgive you, but I wont forget" means when I say it.

Answer 6

only time will tell, if they bring it up again in an argument, or debate and throw it in your face to remind you of the wrong youv'e done then no. Some people actualy believe that they have forgiven you, only to find they were waiting for the oppertunity to punnish you for it in the future. This is not forgiveness, if this happen's it's just best to walk away until a time come's if ever that they can let it truely go, but non of us are perfect, so who are they to judge you if this happeneds. there being just as bad for holding a grudge,

Answer 7

Yes forgiving without forgetting is possible. Forgiving is a willful act. You choose to forgive or not forgive. Unless there is an unfortunate memory disorder, forgetting is a memory function we really don't have any control of. We will remember.

Answer 8

Forgiveness is a choice. Forgetting is not. You can try but you will always remember. only time will help you forget. but, yes, if someone says they forgive you, then they do. But it will always be in the back of their minds. Usually changing the way a person treats the one who hurt them.

Answer 9

Yes, you can forgive. However, you never forget. This makes you conscious of the original problem. You have choices then. You can avoid the person altogether, understand why you had to forgive in the first place, and "protect yourself" in the future.

Answer 10

I say no they have not truly forgiven. I mean when you forgive someone you don't dwell on it anymore.