Alright, so I'm a trumpet player with about 30 other guys and only one or two seem to acknowledge the fact that I'm a girl. Cases-in-point:
I've been told that I'm 'not like, a real 'girl', more like a guy with girl hardware.'
I have a guy friend who thinks I can beat him up.
I've been asked: "Dude, why dont you change with the rest of the trumpets?"
I wore a pink shirt to practice one day and was told: 'woah, man, i feel like i should call you a girly name or something. whats with the pink, man?'
I can't tell you how many times I've gotten punched in the arm as a 'hello' gesture.
I don't know if I should take it as a compliment that they see me as 'a guy' or not! haha.
Anyone have any insight?
2006-06-29 07:15:31 · 9 answers · asked by Grace 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It all depends on how you feel about it. If you want to be seen as a "woman" and not a "guy" then it is a problem for you. It sounds like these guys are trying to treat you like one of them and not somebody who they would date. It could be they feel it would not be in the best interest of the group for the guys to be competing who gets to date you. If they are thinking this way, then it could be taken both ways. Do you want to feel included, as one of the guys? Or do you want these guys to be attracted to you and flirting with you?
It is really up to you on how you view the situation. It sounds to me like these guys really want what is in the best interest of the group as a whole, and having the guys competing on who is going to date you or get into your panties sounds like a complicated situation to be avoided. They obviously take your abilities seriously or they would be trying to jump your bones and flirting with you non stop. They do not want to ruin things or get you to leave the group. Having relationships inside a group like this could cause nothing but problems. I would take it as a compliment to my abilities and the fact they want to keep you in the group. Blessed Be.
2006-06-29 07:23:03 · answer #1 · answered by Serenity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Male culture is, how shall I say this... quite odd. The fact that you've been accepted as "one of the pack" is, I'm sure, meant to be quite the compliment. Of course, I can see how you would take it differently.
The guys count you as one of their own, as 'one of the guys', but that only means that they consider you a friend. Our culture makes it very difficult for guys to be friends with girls. There's always that nagging view that "he just want to get in her pants". That get's very old. Some guys just ignore it. -- most of my friends are girls, and so I have a tendancy to be surrounded by a group of girls. This attracts less-than kind comments from other, less-enlightened, members of the male gender. -- others simply deal with it my making their female friends... well, less female. If you are 'one of the guys' then no one can make fun of them or say that they have any alterior motives.
Whether or not you think that's a good thing? Well, that's up to you. But I thought you should at least understand why it happens.
2006-06-29 14:23:23 · answer #2 · answered by John Tennison 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean. I just play along but if you might like one of the guys out of the group playing along will make them think of you as "one of the guys" If you don't mind that they see you as 's guy' don't worry about it but just be sure to give them a wake up call every once in a while with some girl glamor. It works for me so now I am still thought of as 'a guy' and some guys do think I could beat them up but when I get girl or I dress up they remember I am a girl and I expect them to remember that.
2006-06-29 14:24:36 · answer #3 · answered by parchessey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is if you want to be like a guy act and dress like one and if you don't then be like a girl. I don't know if I would take it as a compliment or not because I'm not you but no offense if they call you that you might be one. Sorry
2006-06-29 14:26:58 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being one of the "guys"can be cool for awhile,but like you said you are a girl.Your going to have to show them.One day go out with your girlfriends,take pictures of your day together,show them to the guys,if they start teasing you tell them how you feel,and that you ARE still a girl.Good luck,God bless:O)
2006-06-29 14:22:36 · answer #5 · answered by melissa_froggies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They see you as one of the guys. It's not even a compliment. It's just they see you as one of the guys, that's it.
2006-06-29 14:20:30 · answer #6 · answered by Goodbye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I'd start wearing really girly clothes and make up to your sessions so they won't forget that you're a girl.
2006-06-29 14:19:06 · answer #7 · answered by Sean 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol it used to be like this for me when I was drumline captain. Just take it as a compliment lol I did
2006-06-29 14:19:41 · answer #8 · answered by shawny4me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the hell?
2006-06-29 14:18:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋