Do you feel obligated to live where your ex lives?

Question

I have a two year old son with my ex. He gets our son every other weekend and on some special occasions. I am currently in a new relationship, and plan to get married soon. After we get married we were considering moving to a different state for better job opportunities. I want to move, but I also want my son to see his father. Has anyone else been in a situation like this? If so, what did you do?

The courts say my ex has no rights to our son. I LET him see him to be nice. He doesn't pay child support even though the courts told him he had to. He didn't even show up for our trials. He is a burden to me. My friends say to leave because my ex is a bad example for our son, but I still want them to have a relationship. Is that stupid?

Very Cute Michelle. But I actually have a very good job.
I don't depend on anyone for anything.
I was simply stating that he does not pay child support.

Woman I don't know why you get so offensive. This is just a game to me. Also, weren't you the one who asked a very wrong question about "me"? How can you tell me not to insult people here, when that's all you do?! I state personal opinions. If you take them as insults, that's your problem. I do like how headstrong you are though. You got guts girl

Answer 1

Good for you for fostering a relationship between your son and his father.You are doing a great service to your son,and for that matter your ex.
When my ex and I split I wanted to be so,so far away from her,but I sucked it up and even moved within walking distance so the kids can come and go as they please.It's not the best for me,but I know it's good for them and they really are my reason for being.

Answer 2

You need to stop thinking of yourself and think about the child. Stop wasting your time trying to insult people on the internet and mind your child woman! What you need to do is go back to school and try to get a better education so you don't need to depend on a man to pay child support and provide a better life for that child.
What the heck would you know about Santa Barbara anyway? Have you ever even been to California? Let alone Santa Barbara? If you just stick to the things you know about you will appear A LOT more intelligent.

Answer 3

After my divorce 11 years ago and after a hard fought custody battle in which I attained 50/50 custody of my then 5 year old daughter I moved from Texas to California for a job opportunity. Because I had equal say I was able to negotiate an arrangement whereas my daughter would spend nearly all of her summer vacation, half of her Christmas vacation and all of her spring break with me. I was also guarenteed when I was back in town for business I could have my daughter pretty much carte blanche. SInce I was the one choosing to move I agreed to pay for all of the travel. This is a "non standard" type arrangement which suited all three of us involved. You should be able to move if it is best - but think outside of the box when setting the perameters with your ex and your child. An arrangement that is mutually agreed upon will be much more likely to be honered by both parties. As well as it has worked out I can't that I don't have some regrets about not being there "day to day" and being able to enjoy her school activities. My exwife complains that she never gets our daughter on her birthday (as it is in the middle of summer) and it is difficult for her to take vacations with her. Coparenting was and is much more difficult than I anticipated - particularly now that our daughter is 16. So you do have the right to move - but should be obliged to make the best situation as possible. Looking back with 20/20 hindsight I may have to say I should have stayed. Think thrice before moving, Dr. Laura (as much as a crackpot as she can be sometimes) is usually pretty on the mark when it comes to kids and divorce. She would say you need to do everything in your power to remain in close proximity to your ex - even if it means a lower standard of lving for yourself.

Answer 4

Wow...great mom it is very important for your son to have a relationship with his father...I understand the need you may have to move for more oportunity however if at all possible I would suggest staying close to the father of your son..perhaps trying as hard as possible to find opportunity where you are for the benefit of your son and his relationship with his father..there are ways that a long distance visitation could worksuch as summer vacations and such but definitely the best would be for your son to stay within the area of his fathers residence.I know you have a hard decision to make and I wish you the best of luck I admire you for your concern about the realtionship between your son and his father You are very wise I think I trust your judgement...again good luck and best wishs

Answer 5

You should not take a child away from his father, especially for your own self-interest. You chose to have a child with this man, and he and the child have a right to be close enough to maintain a relationship. Bit the bullet, and stay close enough that it's not a hardship on your ex or your child.

Answer 6

no but don't break the visitation with the father. If you live close or not he should get the same schedule. But you do have to think of the best interest of the child. Its about him not you.

Answer 7

The kids have to come first not your new man. Make choices that are best for them and put your needs and desires after theirs. They didnt choose the divorce, you did. Make sure they have to sacrifice as little as possible.

Answer 8

Hell no I want to be as far away from my ex as possibly even thoughthere are kids involved I don't care my sanity and well being comes first!

Answer 9

no i havent but ou have to do what is best, go with your husband and tell your child