I am in a relationship with [john] we live together in texas and i came to florida to bring my son to visit his dad [james]. Now james has always told me he loves and has never stopped waiting for me to come back to him and live together as a family. I can no longer have children so me and john will never have children together and he is ok with that. I love john and he loves my son as if his own we have lived together for a year now and i don't want to hurt him he is waiting for me to go back home we talk everyday on the phone and he has been sending me money to help me out while am here. He doesn't know that i have been staying with james in his home much less that i have been with him. I think i still love james also but in a diffrent way than i do john. I don't know what to do? I don't know if i should stay and try to make a family with james or go back home with john?
I know that if john were to find out about me and james he would never forgive me. i left james when i met john.
2006-06-29 06:19:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My gut feeling is that if you left James once before, you'll eventually want to leave him again. There had to be some reason why your relationship with him didn't work before. Right now, it probably just feels good to be with him again, but sooner or later, the old problems will creep back in. John sounds like a great guy and someone who loves you very much. If you love him too, I'd go back to him and make a new life with him.
2006-06-29 07:44:53 · answer #1 · answered by cynthiajean222 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋
You need to think about why you left James in the first place for John. Was James abusive ? If you just left James because you wanted something new and different and now you are beginning to realize that you are still really in love with James then you should be with him since you have a son together , don't just stay with John because you don't want to hurt his feelings you need to go where your heart tell you , you should be but then you need to stick with that decision its not fare to either one of them to be playing both of them.
2006-06-29 06:44:52 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have mess yourself up big time. Plus you make it hard for your son. So kick your self in the butt for that. If you want to be with James, then tell John about it. Don't leave him in the dark, thinking him and you be together forever.
Then think about you and James. Whatever happen before that broke your marriage up. Could happen again as well. Not good for the child, cause he is push back and fourth between all this.
Spend some time alone with yourself. Think about the pros and cons between the two men.
Which one is better for your son, which one be there to support you thru good and bad times. John could love you so much. He would risk his body parts for ya. Then again James, could be looking for someone to lay around on.
2006-06-29 06:48:42 · answer #3 · answered by kygl28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make 2 lists - 1 for James and 1 for John. Put on each list all the reasons for staying with them, plus all the bad things about them, too. I'll bet when you compare the lists, you'll be able to make your decision.
2006-06-29 06:29:48 · answer #4 · answered by Nosy Parker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohhh that's a tuffy. if James was your first love and you can truthfully say you love him with all your heart and soul then he is your guy...If not do not go back with him and "settle" for less if you have more with John. I suppose you will always love your son's father but don't ever settle for less. Your son will grow up some day and find his happiness...make sure you have yours. Good Luck!!!
2006-06-29 06:27:49 · answer #5 · answered by grannypamrox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is Exactly what the type of decieving mess I was in..... U just make it very hard for a GOD-Fearing man like myself want o ever get re-married! If you don't repent....and confess to john....come clean...you will burn 4 this!
I will pray you do the right thing.
2006-06-29 06:38:08 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling
2006-06-29 06:30:09 · answer #7 · answered by lolitakali 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lsiten you already messed up and one day he will find out at this point you need to stay with james and work it out
2006-06-29 06:37:38 · answer #8 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't have your cake and eat it to chose which you want and leave the other is that the kind of things you want your son seeing as ok to do
2006-06-29 06:27:27 · answer #9 · answered by shellshell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋