Something along these lines for example:
Do you know why jesus crossed the road?
Because he was nailed to a chicken.
2006-06-29 06:17:27 · 21 answers · asked by theagitator@sbcglobal.net 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Mythology & Folklore
Does this one count?
Two kids are in Sunday School. A girl who keeps falling asleep sits next to a boy with his pen out. The teacher asks, "Who created heaven and earth?" the boy pokes the girl in the side with his pen. "God almighty!" yells the girl. "Very good!" says the teacher. The girl starts to snooze off again, the teacher asks, "Who died for our sins?" the boy pokes her with his pen again, "Jesus Christ!" yelled the girl. "Very good." The girl goes off to sleep again, and the teacher asks, "What did Eve say to Adam after having their 26th kid?" the boy pokes her with the pen again, and the girl yells, "If you put that thing into me one more time, I swear I'll break it in half!" The teacher fainted.
2006-06-30 02:43:46 · answer #1 · answered by RuneWitchSakura1988 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
jesus rose up.
not on the third day but the first cause thats when romans nailed him to the cross.
switch Jesus for the Lamb SLAIN who is LarribSL A I IV put together like iamisabaddon's photo.
all things commanded to praise HIM thus
EMPEROR=E IVI PERIOD= if you read between the lines
I AM = iam = iarri= I A IVI stitched together
and replace GWB with Me. So worship no god but Me as M=IVI stitched together and e is arm. Thus jesus christ takes worship away from HIM.
sum up god=7154=17=8=h thus god is first in heaven.
sum up god jehovah=...=e thus second in heaven
sum up jesus christ=...=g thus not in heaven at all
find h in your english calendar for a descrition of the h who is god.
the Lamb with the seven seals five on arm one on torso and ?
and those L=IL if cut in halve.
the arm seals appear IIII I . as the answer to Rev.19.12.
so join me luke , I AM your father, whooooo, like the emperor said in gladiator
2006-06-29 07:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: Why did Jesus have so many female followers?
A: Because he was hung like this!
(Stand up when you tell this joke, and then hold out your arms to the sides like you were on the cross when you give the punchline.)
Yes, it's a bad pun. I don't need anyone writing to me telling me I'm going to hell for it either.
2006-06-29 06:23:54 · answer #3 · answered by Georgia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after the Crucifixion Jesus comes back. He confronts a lot of disbelievers. His loyal follows cry out" show them a miracle" He thinks hard, "well when I walked on water, that was a good one."
so he goes out in a boat and steps out, whoosh, he sinks to the bottom. He is pulled back in, his loyal followers looked in disbelief and said "what happened Lord?'
he says:
"when I did it the first time, I didn't have holes in my feet"
2006-06-29 06:36:22 · answer #4 · answered by tazm531 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus is on the cross and calls out for John. Being the dutiful disciple, John fights his way up the hill to see Jesus. He makes his way through the crowd, all the while Jesus is calling for him, "John! John!" The disciple crashes his way through the Roman guards, they beat him savagely but The Lord's call urges him on, "John! John!". Finally, John makes it to the base of the cross and, on his knees, he says to Jesus, "Yes my Lord! I am here! What is thy bidding?" And Jesus says:
"John! I can see your house from here!"
2006-06-29 06:27:16 · answer #5 · answered by l00kiehereu 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh yeah u can hear jokes about jesus but if there r some cartoons with allah, muslims will start a war...wtf!...and u know in hell there is a weekly concurs for the best joke about jesus go there and try ur luck!
2006-06-29 10:05:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Best told with a good New York Jewish accent. My apologies to golf fans, I don't know the sport well enough to get that part right.
Jesus and Moses are playing golf. Jesus takes his shot and it lands in the sand trap. Moses suggests that he move the ball to the edge and continue from there. Jesus says "Arnold Palmer would play it from where it lies, _I'm_ going to play it from where it lies" and walks out onto the sand and takes his next shot.
This time it lands in a tree. Moses suggests that Jesus use another ball and play it from the base of the tree. Jesus says "Arnold Palmer would play it from where it lies, _I'm_ going to play it from where it lies" and climbs the tree.
His next shot goes splashing into the water hazard. Moses, getting a bit impatient, suggests that Jesus use another ball and play it from the edge of the water. Jesus says "Arnold Palmer would play it from where it lies, _I'm_ going to play it from where it lies" and walks out across the water.
Another party comes along and one of them says "Who does he think he is, Jesus Christ?"
And Moses says, "No. Arnold Palmer."
2006-06-29 07:15:23 · answer #7 · answered by The angels have the phone box. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did Jesus get crucified instead of being stung by 10,000 bees?
Because that way the Catholics can do the crucifix over their chest instead of waving the arms while streaming!
2006-06-29 07:02:17 · answer #8 · answered by onefootnaked 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus walks into the last supper, and rudely leaves the door wide open behind him. Peter gestures towards the open door and says, "Dude.... were you born in a barn?"
2006-06-29 08:53:27 · answer #9 · answered by strinidae 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The church bulletin today:
This morning's sermon:
Jesus walks on water.
Tonight's sermon:
Finding Jesus.
2006-06-29 15:33:46 · answer #10 · answered by Bender 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋