Single parent children As parents How do you cope with inadequate modeling ?

Question

Ok I grew up where my dad was basically not around at all and for the important stuff he wasn't there to protect me. I had no male figure in my life that was like a father. How does this affect me and you as far as being able to have a healthy relationship and knowing our roles as male and female in a healthy marriage? I tell you I feel ike I should be doing it all takeing over but I know that isn't the right way. We each have our parts but since I never saw it I have a hard time knowing what it is. And head knowledge and experience I am learing are two different things.
PS I RESENT THEY PUT DIVORCE AND MARRIAGE IN SAME CATEGORY CAN WE HAVE A LITTLE MORE OPTIMISM ON THE PART OF YAHOO STAFF?

Answer 1

Throughout ones life, everyone experiences difficulties, challenges that they must face. For some, these obstacles are greater, for others they are easily overcome. However, don't feel you are a rare case. Believe me, divorce rates and single parents are more than double that of two decades ago. Humans require social interaction, this has been known since Darwin's Origin of Man. Ask yourself, "Am I getting out and experiencing what life really is?" Being in consistent social settings helps one establish a social identity, or, a place among his/her peers. Also, being in social situations helps you discover your possible "flaws." For example, I work in a restaurant and due to constant interaction with my friends, I'm beginning to realize how I'm never really serious/mature. Another good plus is continuous social interaction will build relationships letting you know where you stand and also helping you decide which direction you want to go in. "Do I want to be like Erin or Jake?" You will automatically begin finding traits you like and using them for your own personal identity. Finding out who we are is what life is all about.

Answer 2

When I gave birth to my son, I was 19 years old and was in college. Being an asian, it was hard to have a child out of wedlock and single. Because of people's narrowmindedness I convinced myself that if we are going to survive. I have to be strong and stay focus. I graduated met a man and married him. He brought me here to US. After 6 years, he decided, he wants something else. Then I was single again. My son was eleven when I got divorced. What I have decided is I'm going to spend my time with him for awhile while he is growing up because he is going through a difficult age: adolescent. Our schedule was Saturday morning we mow the lawn and go to movies in the afternoon. Sundays are for fishing and shopping. I played with him, talked to him, really spent time with him. When I thought he needs a male influence I enrolled him into martial arts school and he did well. My son is my best friend. He is really smart. When he graduated from high school he wrote a poem for me and his English teacher read it. Every one was teary eyed. Now, my son is in college and he is in one of the prestigious engineering school here in the US. He'll graduate next year. By the way, my son remembers the moments that we were together. Oh by the way, his teachers were surprised that he doesn't have a father. According to them statistically, a single parent can't raise a succesful child. Well, we proved them wrong.